Food inspiration for an "eats nothing" child

TBH stop worrying. Give him vitamin drops in his squash and let him eats what he wants, at least he's eating. For almost a year my daughter would only eat those small cans of baked beans with sausages in or wotsits! I was worried sick, I took her to the GP and his reply was, "Stop worrying, she's perfectly healthy and is growing", so, I stopped worrying and sure enough she soon grew out of it.

HurdyGurdy
It is good that a social worker has now been allocated and other professionals will be involved.
The fact that there may not have been a definite diagnosis of autism could mean that your DGS has other, undiagnosed problems but presumably this will be confirmed before too long. It was also worrying that he had been taken out of school where problems would have been picked up and an earlier referral made.

I hope that he will now get the help he so obviously needs.
It is difficult being a grandparent, seeing problems but feeling helpless, but perhaps your son will now get the chance to be more involved in any decision-making about his son.

@HurdyGurdy - Jesus wept, don't shoot the messenger.

Cominghometoautism.com
cominghometoautism.com/

At least give this a watch...
Youtube - Coming home to Autism
www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNErNrDAxIo

Anyone commenting on this thread should read HurdyGurdy's second (long) post on page 3 (Sunday, 17.46), which gives a lot more information about the situation. Without reading that, some posts here are pointless and even hurtful to OP who is doing her best to deal sensitively with difficult issues, not just food.

As autism can run in families, I wonder if the mum is somewhere on autism spectrum, (Asperger's?) though not diagnosed? That might explain her difficulty dealing with services that might be available. Hopefully now GS has been assigned a social worker, some of the his issues may be addressed.

Could you try a fruit smoothie made with real fruit? Make one which is sweet and delicious, not sour. In fact make three different ones. Put them into colourful containers so the contents are not visible and with straws. Ask him to help you decide which drink tastes the best. He must sip all three. If he likes one then you can offer him the chance to finish it while you drink a different one. Praise him for helping you decide which one is best. If you can get one down him then maybe he will drink another, and these will at least get some nourishment inside him even if it isn't solid food.

Your son is not the childs primary carer/parent.

This particularly matters with autistic children. If your son "does his own thing" on his visits he could seriously set back the child's progress. Which WILL be one step forwards two steps back. Thats just the way it is.

notanan is right about fluids!

Lack of fluids can cause constipation, water being best.

Solonge, you obviously have no idea about autistic children and the way they eat. Many, many parents find themselves in this position and are unable to get their child to eat lots of different foods. That is not abuse. What would you suggest they do? Force feed him?
HurdyGurdy, it sounds like you are doing all the right things in a very difficult situation. I have found that when Social Workers get involved they will often talk to you about your concerns if your son gives them permission to. It's a shame your ex-DIL didn't take up the help from the family support worker because I have found them to be brilliant with my Daughter and I am hoping they are going to help my daughter get the help she needs with her mental health issues because no-one has ever listened to me!
My son is an "absent" parent in as much as he lives over 200 miles away from his son but he is as much a real parent as fathers who live with his son and, in some cases, far more interested. It is a difficult balance for him to support his son who has mild ADHD and not upset his ex when he disagrees with her pathways. I suspect your son is in the same awkward position.

Just very quickly catching up during a lunch break, and thanking the majority again for their thoughts, suggestions and input. I will reply further this evening.

However, I cannot let ananimous' comment pass.

I would like to point out that my son IS the real parent, and to politely invite you and your spiteful comments about me and other gransnetters, who have been extremely kind and helpful, to "go forth and multiply"

HurdyGurdy
I don't think there is anything wrong at all in offering a couple of new foods, just leaving him to choose himself whether or not to try them and not passing comment if he rejects them.
As his father is there too, I don't think you are overstepping the line, be guided by the parents, yes, but mum seems happy for your involvement.

Ignore posts which assume anyone who is being helpful has messed up their own relationships.
Rude and presumptious, ananimous.

The real parents wont appreciate your experiments if when he goes home food becomes more of an issue than it already is. I just wanted to tip you off before you do something you will come to regret. You are caring, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions... You are in danger of over-stepping a boundary, and being the typical interfering GP. Also, I need to ask the OP: Why you haven't asked the parents what they suggest? Instead of asking advice of strangers (who often have messed up their own relationship with their own AC) and few having any knowledge of Autism. Give the child what he likes as change will be difficult and cause difficulties. you don't want to spoil your time with him or risk causing a family rift over this. It is incredibly cheeky of you to want to take on the parent's role here - to put it mildly.

Can I ask why you can’t just follow the mum’s lead, and any ‘new’ food habits should surely be introduced by the dad if he wants?
I’d just say enjoy your time with him, as you see him so infrequently, and certainly not even think of taking him for tests or check ups.

Do not cut fluids to encourage food!

It can lead to constipation which can lead to total food refusal and fear of going to the toilet and holding it in.

Are people commenting without reading the autism bit?

also look at fluid intake, If the child is taking large quantities of fluids he will not be hungry anyway.

Frankly the diet is tantamount to child abuse. How many of us would have happily floated along feeding our child crap their entire life?

Yes, let’s accuse the mum of a boy with special needs of abuse. That’s a great way to work together ??‍♀️??‍♀️

I despair at people

My heart goes out to this poor lady . Does she have any friends or family locally to give her some respite from the 24 hour care on her own ?

We meet halfway to handover at a service station. She will tell us what she’s been trying with foods and other things, so that we can continue it at our house

It sounds a very difficult situation but can I ask please....is this conversation going on infront of the child?

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Callistemon may have a really good point there. Silent coeliac has none of the classic symptoms but can damage the digestive system anyway.

I remember being told that women licked coal when they were pregnant years ago!
Perhaps their bodies knew that they needed certain minerals, BradfordLass.

Fry vegetables in batter like chicken balls? Not great perhaps but at least some veg would go in.

Hurdygurdy Thanks for the update.
I'm so glad this Mum agreed to respond to SS. It sounds as if she is totally overwhelmed by caring for this wee chap and needs support as much as he does..

Callistemon sometimes we crave the things that are bad for us

So true. I am mainly gluten-free or Paleo but every now and then I crave a slice of bread - which of course makes me ill if I give in to it.

He has a very flour based diet (presumably not gf flour) - sometimes we crave the things that are bad for us for some reason.

bottom red raw
This is a long shot but one of my DC used to get terrible nappy rash, a red raw bottom and it turned out years later that she is coeliac. I felt like a bad mother although she was changed frequently and I used good creams.
I wonder if some foods give him a tummy ache (they did her but we didn't know why) and that is why he is suspicious of food?

I googled what Peppa Pig likes to eat and apparently;
Spaghetti and jelly (presumably not together).
George likes spaghetti and strawberries.