Boxing Day meal with son and Partner, now say they can't afford it.

I would also pay for them. They sound a nice couple who are having a few problems. They wanted to be with you on Boxing Day, which is vey nice. Give them a treat. I certainly would not deduct it from their present money - which doesn't go far by today's standards. There are no pockets in shrouds and you can't take it with you. Give them a happy day.

Christmas wishes everyone.

I would be pleased he wanted to be with me. Even if it meant going without other things myself, I would have said, no problem, we wanted to treat you anyway, just give him the money and presents you would have. He must be struggling and feel bad enough, family support each other.

I think you’re right Claudia, annoying for you, but these things happen.

We always seem to end up paying for everything, so I sympathise, but hope you all enjoy your meal, and Merry Christmas

I'm glad that all got sorted out

I'm not well off either, no one on a basic pension is, so I do understand your annoyance but if I had to live on bread and jam for the next month, I wouldn't let my poor son forgo a meal he was looking forward to, especially if the double stress was a bill he hadn't anticipated.

Thank you all very much for your sensible replies. I have now calmed down and not annoyed anymore. And it certainly won't become a problem between us. We will probably just bite the bullet and pay for them as well.
It just goes to showm that a problem shared is a problem halved.
Happy Christmas everyone.

Yes I agree sometimes things go wrong like the boiler packs up or shower breaks can’t be helped they are young probably haven’t got ready cash these things happen. Just enjoy the meal the two of you don’t be angry !

Why not talk to them? If you could pay for the meal then ask if they would like you to but please don’t be offended if they say they would rather you didn’t. If you do pay for the meal I’d think it more than reasonable to give the gifts you have for them and divert the £50 to the meal. If you know for sure they need the money and paying for their meal while giving £50 is too much for your budget then either change the reservation to two or cancel if you’d prefer. Restaurants do understand needs change. If you’ve been looking forward to it of course you’re disappointed but please don’t let it become a wedge between you all.

I'd change the reservation to 2 and then pop round to them afterwards with a bottle of wine? He has said he can't afford it, not that he expects you to pay. Surely they can't be offended if you have the meal without them?

Family are more important than any meal and if you are all short of money it doesn’t sound as though they are making it up. What would you do if they were ill. We once cancelled a table for 10 when my DH got taken I’ll on the morning of the meal. We offered to pay but the restaurant said it was ok. Obviously that was not on Boxing Day.
If you can afford to treat them I would do so. Otherwise see if you can cancel their two places. The fact that they wanted to be with you would count more for me as far as I’m concerned.

I think I would tell him that I can't afford to pay it but that I was giving him £50. Does he want to use that to pay. If he's a bit short of cash he may prefer to have the money and not go out for a meal. I'm sure the restaurant won't mind changing the number of people. They probably have plenty of people wanting to book.

I think what you suggested would be best but don't get cross about it. Enjoy your meal and well done booking ahead.

The obvious thing, to me, to do would be to pay for the meal and if necessary forego giving presents unless you have already bought them.
If you can possibly afford it, it would be a kind and generous solution to what is probably an embarrassing problem for them.

Ditto ga. They’re probably upset too at missing a lovely meal out. Cut back on their presents or the cash and treat them.

Just call the restaurant and change the reservation to two.

It doesn’t sound like they are flaky and did this on purpose?

I could understand it if you were upset, but I'm not really sure why this has annoyed you Claudiaclaws. An 'unforseen expenditure' at this time of year is often a bit of a nightmare and really cannot be helped I suspect. If you can afford it then be generous and offer to pay as an extra Christmas present. If you can't then all you can do is apologise to the restaurant and trust they will be understanding.

I would probably pay for them and buy a few less presents.
(If I thought they genuinely couldn't afford it)