Getting anti social

Same here lemongrove, our close friends, with one exception, are too far away for a day visit so they come and stay or we go to them. Otherwise we socialise with neighbours in a very low key way, volunteer a bit, are roped in to help with childcare, spend time with family when they have space and enjoy local outings. All very mundane and usually day time but it suits us. I love to garden, Mr C does the labouring under protest, he’d rather read. Not much chance of anything gleaming here. It no longer feels as if we ‘have’ to do things, we choose to do them instead.

We used to do lots years ago, dinner parties, drinks parties etc.which has all gone by the board now ( which is fine).
We mainly meet friends for lunches rather than evenings, but we do have friends to stay for 3-4 days at a time, and all enjoy it still.Our friends are all far flung so we need to either stay with them or they with us ( we vary it.)

I’m only 50 but DH and I both work f/t and by the time we’ve got home, cooked dinner, ferried the 12 year old to wherever he’s going and caught up with household chores we cannot be bothered to socialise. Weekends are a bit better but not by much - it’s just a huge effort on top of everything else.

Cid24: We're both 72 and have quite different interests, apart from music and certain films. I really don't like going out in the evening during Winter months , but I love being outdoors in the Spring & Summer, or at any time if it's not pouring with rain! I don't think I'm anti social, as I love to cook and entertain my family & close friends, but am very selective these days.

I'd need about a week to get anywhere near 'gleaming' these days. In the distant past I could hoover a large house and clean all the windows in a day!

I prefer to go out to group lunches/chats/picnics/walks (or whatever) as I have the option of leaving early without letting anyone down.

Sometimes I'm in pain with my back and I really just want to get home and lie down!

Yep, me and husband are also becoming more unsociable now, 65 and 66. Can't be arsed to be honest. Also, we moved from London to Exeter 8 years ago and whilst we have friends down here, they are not old friends if you know what I mean. Also, whenever we had friends round, I used to clean the house until every surface and corner gleamed. Whilst our house is clean, it no longer gleams if you know what I mean? Just don't have the energy now.........

With my ill health the last year we have certainly found out that people who we thought were good friends aren't and have virtually disappeared. So now my DH and I are enjoying being by ourselves and enjoying the quiet life. It has certainly made a positive difference to our bank account though.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Yes, I do notice that I’m less inclined to socialise, except with very close friends/family. I’m very busy on and off with Gdcs so that is an additional reason - I really need my chill time in between.
But I no longer feel bad for saying no to things I just don’t want to do, or know I won’t enjoy, whereas when younger I’d have gone because I felt I ought to, or ought to want to.
Not that it happens very often, but def. one of the advantages of getting older!

Lilyflower I would tell him that if he wants to entertain he can blooming well organise it himself! Men!

I think my evening events have fallen off considerably but the DH and I get out and about a lot in the daytime still.

He likes to be entertained with a non stop social programme which he does nothing to organise and where he, even, as a host, acts as if he is a guest. I have stopped accommodating this quite so often but when he complained recently about seeing others less frequently I was able to direct him to the calendar where, last year, there was a major event every month and many smaller get-togethers in between.

When I retired I found very quickly that loneliness is a curse but some solitude is a blessing.

Mealybug Mon 13-Jan-20 12:43:13
I couldn't give a gypsies curse at the moment.
I'll perk up when the sun starts shining again.
I hope!

I have always been rather quiet, and don’t have many close friends. I don’t entertain formally at home, but enjoy people popping in (by arrangement) for coffee and a chat. I certainly haven’t noticed that I have become any more anti-social than usual.
At the age of 80 I am still involved in plenty of activities. U3A, two choirs etc, but enjoy having time to myself. I am never lonely.
The last few months have been rather too busy for me. I am in Australia, visiting family and friends and attending my daughter’s wedding. Sleeping in different beds in different houses. Lots of eating out and travelling around.
I can’t wait to get home and relax into my normal routine, though I will miss everyone.
However, I will be back here again in May, when my son and DIL welcome their first baby. That will definitely not be a relaxing time!

I'm 72, and friends and acquaintances, like myself, say they rarely have people in their homes these days.

I’m 64 and still working, 4 days a week. I don’t like going out at night anymore, but enjoy meeting up with friends on my day off, for lunch and a chat. In my younger days I was always out, but now feel that been there done that, so don’t need to do it anymore.

On my birthday last week [68th], DH and I used our bus passes to go out at lunchtime to our local centre. We did some wine tasting at our favourite wine bar and had a lovely lunch at a bistro. It was very relaxed and preferable to going out in the evening when I'd have felt I had to get "dressed up". I did go out one evening to a friend's 50th birthday and had a lovely time but still would prefer now to do social things during the day.

My social life has diminished over the last ten years I divorced and no longer enjoy going out with the couples we knew together .I work full-time and just can't be bothered to make the effort at weekends I do occasionally go to the the theatre with work colleagues but I find this expensive and can only do this a few times a year however I must admit I enjoy my own company maybe a bit too much and therefore don't make an effort to go out and socialise

Sadly, I feel my social life has all but disappeared. I don't really mind, as hubby and I are happy with our own company (and our two cats). It's definitely an effort to go out these days. I had to "jolly" my husband into going to a Garden Centre today for Lunch - it's his 71st birthday! He does struggle with poor health, and has a back injury, making it painful to drive. We live in a very small village (two streets, no bus service, no shop/pub/Church etc) and as I am partially sighted, I struggle to get out on my own (I have Arthritis in most of my joints, as does hubby). We do find that "people" get on our nerves a bit, these days, though I feel that we should make more effort!

I'm 70 and I'd love to entertain the old crowd but they're all dead or moved away. Also I am getting more reclusive and my favorite time of the day is the evening, watching TV with the husband and surfing the net of course.

But I am treasurer for two groups and expected at meetings...big effort for me anymore.

Selectively sociable what a lovely word, must remember it.I hibernate too in the winter months here in Scandinavia, no need to ask why!
I dont like going out at night for obvious reasons,( cold, dark,ice and snow a lot of the time) I enjoy meeting up for lunch with lady friends, but we dont entertain much these days, Husband is 72 I am 78 and we feel it gets a bit much feeding people! Happy as we are, we will be coming out of hibernation in a few months.

We used to have regular dinner parties over the years and be invited to other people's homes. Now we go out to eat fairly regularly (Sunday lunch is my favourite) usually treating our children and grandchildren. For over ten years we've met up with friends in the pub each Friday or we'll all go out for meal together. But my favourite things I love is being at home with DH and to snuggle up in front of the tv most evenings. My sister (69) was bereaved fairly recently and has found a new partner and they're out drinking and eating most evenings. I guess a new relationship is exciting, but I prefer my comfortable relaxed life.

No - you are not unsociable; I do believe that as we get older we refine what makes us happy, what we want to spend our precious time on, and also don't feel the need to please and attend everything regardless of whether we feel we are likely to enjoy it. I like my own company, and am also quite happy to be at home every evening with OH. Parties are not to my liking as I dislike noise and can't hear over the music, and although my daughter teasingly refers to me as 'FOMO' - 'Fear of Missing Out' we both know that I am in truth 'JOMO' - 'Joy of..'

January us a hibernation month. Its cold, dark and miserable.
Bed and book with some leftover chocs is most definitely needed to recharge and ready for spring.
I'm happy in my own company and have lots of hobbies. I wouldn't worry too much, just enjoy a much needed rest. X

I think there's a difference between not entertaining at home (which I don't do much of now) and being unsociable -the latter is the slippery slope to loneliness.

There is so much to do and see and you just have to tolerate other people in the mix.

From what I read on GN there are many people who just CBA to do anything!

I'm more selective about who I spend time with these days. Most of the time I'd rather be with my ponies or working in the garden.