‘Living life to the full’

It's interesting to know that there are many of you who feel as I do! I'm happy not to travel to exotic places but live to watch footage of these places. I think an even larger TV would make it even more of a pleasure!

I think Izabella’s comment about ‘living life moment by moment’ is key for me. I try to give full attention with kind intention to what I do. I realise that mindfulness has become something of a glib term, but coupled self/other compassion and gratitude it helps me to feel content with most of what I do (whatever that might be...). I’ve got only one end of life request, and that is that, whatever my arrangements my children choose to make, they play Louis Armstrong singing “What a wonderful world”...

I think it just means doing exactly what you want to do, and not what others think you should do, whether that is off on adventures or just staying at home crafting or reading, it is whatever makes you happy.

Izabella I do admire your attitude and love the expression ‘fuckit bucket’. I have plenty I can put in mine!

gillybob I am sad to hear that you are having a hard time. I honestly do believe that all problems have solutions, but sometimes they are hard to to uncover and often the solutions are only adequate rather than perfect. Such is life!

Hey, at 58 you have done much with your life and it is likely that you have many worthwhile years ahead. Do you really think that your close and loving involvement in your grandchildren's lives is pointless? Seems unlikely. Do you really think that the friends you have made – including one who lives the other side of the world – don't love, care about you and treasure you?

Dear gillybob you are a lovely, friendly, kind, delightful person, a valuable and much-loved friend and, clearly, a very important figure in your family. Believe it and have some faith in yourself!

I wish that we could still meet up – with some others who should, perhaps, remain nameless but include glassortwo, for a jolly lunch.

Some posters are well aware I have been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and fully intend to carry on being positive and living life to the full. For me personally that means taking time to stand and stare, putting things I no longer want, or can do into the fuckit bucket and moving on. I have been in Oz and NZ since December 2 pacing the days out and enjoying being in the moment. Revisiting friends and places and taking pictures to try and remind myself where we have been. My memory for both route and place names has gone but visually I can recall things. I have had some grim days while away and some embarrassing episodes - but what the heck

My choices are becoming more and more limited and alternatives less appropriate but I intend to carry on best I can and enjoy the moments one at a time. One such moment from yesterday in The Caitlin’s after returning from Steward Island

Thanks to OH for help in posting - as ever

Juliet27 and sallysmum It seems we three all have lovable old grumps. It's true we can't have everything so we must continue to enjoy our own version of living life to the full with them. Good luck in prizing yours out of that armchair sallysmum, if you come up with good strategies let me know.

52bright I loved your post, I thought you were talking about my husband.
We have had lovely holidays in the past but all he wants to do now is sit in his chair .There is nothing wrong with his health he has just got Lazyitas. Every thing is too much trouble. Like your DH if I do manage to prise him out of his chair he seems to enjoy it. He is good in other ways so I suppose you can't have everythinģ.

Until a few years ago I travelled a lot, belonged to various organisations, read a lot, was always thirsting for knowledge. Now I am practically housebound with failing eyesight and hearing am pleased that I did all these things and spent a full life and didn’t waste my life.

I have never had a bucket list and never will. It sounds a stupid idea, just a list of experiences that enables you to boast about what you have done. Most of them are purely superficial.

Bucket lists always contain flash events, far away places. They never include quiet private things, like going on a week end retreat, visiting a family grave that no family member had visited because, until recently, it was too far away and too expensive to reach. Or, for a friend, because the country concerned had been shut to tourists

Climbing mountains and jumping out of an aeroplane no thanks. I'd rather sit in my garden.

Does living life to the full also mean not putting plans off?

For me living life to the full means having a sense of purpose and a feeling of belonging. Its got nothing to do with bucket lists. I love volunteering because it gives me a purpose, and I love being with my family and friends for that sense of belonging. To be honest I am a bit wary of anything encouraging you to life life to the full in retirement, because its so often used as a marketing ploy to persuade people to go on exotic holidays, or do expensive things. I know I am happier appreciating 'normal' life, rather than rushing madly around trying to visit every country in the world. Thank you to all who have responded to this post, its made me feel content with my choices. I have quite a few friends who are constantly pressuring me to travel whilst I can, and who dont seem to understand that I love my home and my life and dont need to be always rushing madly around.

Tillybelle I understand exactly what you mean about your dogs. The love they give is wonderful. I am so glad you have them to be loved and to love.

Tillybelle what lovely words, thank you.
You say ‘you have done it’. Are you able to enlighten us more?

I suppose the idea of doing something you've always wanted to is great, but somehow it has morphed into a list that everyone feels they should have.

Tillybelle...I understand that....

For me it means appreciating every day, even the ordinary ( especially the ordinary really as mostly life is!). It’s taking time to enjoy little things and simple pleasures not chasing the extraordinary.

I suspect a fulfilled life is a contented life. If you are content with your life as it is, that is a fulfilled life. If you are constantly yearning for something else, you are not fulfilled by life at present.

Gillybob, I really do think that 'counting your blessings' can be helpful. Not always, but if done carefully and genuinely can hep you to plan a day with a few 'blessings' in it.
I don't know how much control you can take over some parts of your life, but I hope you can get in a few pleasant experiences.
I am interested in this thread, as most posters (possibly self-selecting) seem to value the small things in life. One of my friends, many years ago, told me that she envied me that ability, a remark I have treasured - although I also tried to share with her how I did it (not easy, as I've always done it!).

I too, am fortunate to have had one thing on my 'bucket list' and I have done it.

Granless. There's a great blessing in having a calm and free life. Not to feel compelled to achieve this or see that before we die (have you ever heard of such an unnecessary phrase?)

I think you have achieved the goal, if goal there be, for to treat each day of your life as an open book of unmarked pages waiting ready for the easiness of life to create a picture on each day's page, is to have the most blessed life of all. Then to leave graciously and with no fuss, neither demanding attention nor ceremony but gently passing from one state to the other and releasing the Soul to freedom is the most loving parting gesture one can give to a world which is now in pain.
I hope you don't mind my saying so.
I know our soul, call it what lies most comfortably on your lips, does fly out from our tight and earth-bound body when this body gives up its struggle to keep the oxygen in the blood travelling around it. I know we are our Soul. I know we float out from our forehead and it feels truly beautiful. I have done it. Fear not death, it is beautiful. There is another place and many are waiting for us, who love us there.

I never expected my life to be as it is now.

I have no control over what each day will bring. I have to go from hour to hour with how my pains dictate and how the weakness and sickness is holding up. I can arrange to do things but people always know that I may not be able to keep the arrangement. I can't walk far now. I need to lie down at least once in the day time and usually more. I cannot sleep through the night. After my shower and hair wash I need an hour to recover.

I was an active person, walked miles, did sports and was involved in so many different interests. I worked throughout my adult life and even when at school! I had three daughters, was widowed at 42, and had 2 different careers. I never dreamed that one day, just changing the duvet cover would be a major achievement for me!

Now the high light of my day is taking the dogs up to bed with me! Nobody can say I'm not allowed to do it! After some horrible traumas I need them with me at night. My favourite time is when I am lying down in bed, getting as comfortable as I can with the pain that's all over me, and hearing the dogs breathing as they lie on the double bed with me. With the bliss of my best friends beside me and because of how overwhelmingly I love them, I feel I understand just how much God loves us.

I don’t have a bucket list and don’t need one but, yes, do feel slightly inadequate when someone asks what is on mine or one thing you’d like to do before you ‘go’.
I plod on doing whatever I choose on that day.
I enjoy my life and my exit also will be low key, no fuss, no last wish - straight to crem.

Since I was widowed 7 years ago I have moved (5 years ago) to be closer to my DD & family. Since moving to Devon I have been on several short trips with friends & had new experiences. I've visited my DM (600 mile round trip), driving myself instead of having DH to share the driving. I've visited lots of places on my own & am now busy exploring Devon & Cornwall.

I don't have a bucket list but I take every opportunity if I can to visit new places & take part in new experiences. On the other hand I'm quite happy pottering around at home

Live life to the full because “you don’t know what’s round the corner”. The last bit has applied just lately and we found out what was “round the corner” Puts everything in perspective.