gillybob I am sad to hear that you are having a hard time. I honestly do believe that all problems have solutions, but sometimes they are hard to to uncover and often the solutions are only adequate rather than perfect. Such is life!
Hey, at 58 you have done much with your life and it is likely that you have many worthwhile years ahead. Do you really think that your close and loving involvement in your grandchildren's lives is pointless? Seems unlikely. Do you really think that the friends you have made – including one who lives the other side of the world – don't love, care about you and treasure you?
Dear gillybob you are a lovely, friendly, kind, delightful person, a valuable and much-loved friend and, clearly, a very important figure in your family. Believe it and have some faith in yourself!
I wish that we could still meet up – with some others who should, perhaps, remain nameless but include glassortwo, for a jolly lunch.