Gransnet forums


Do you feel guilty?

(13 Posts)
MissAdventure Thu 23-Jan-20 19:29:08

When you discuss on here things that friends/acquaintances have done?
I always feel slightly worried that someone might think "Hang on a minute! That same thing happened to me.." and be really offended to realise it is actually them I'm posting about.

That would be terrible for them, wouldn't it?

Maybe they'd take it in the spirit of fun?

annep1 Thu 23-Jan-20 19:33:34

I've only done it once about a friend and I think she may have found out. I don't feel guilty though, it was nothing nasty, just asking advice but I wouldn't ever do it again.

ExperiencedNotOld Thu 23-Jan-20 19:39:32

Surely they’d only know if you’d shared to much - your profile name and the fact you were posting to GN. Otherwise, it would be a rare event that was so unique in detail that someone would automatically know it was about them.

MissAdventure Thu 23-Jan-20 19:41:25

Oh no!
That's the thing with forums.

I just posted on the thread about things seen in other people's houses, then I feel a pang of guilt, even though this happened probably more than 20 years ago.

annep1 Thu 23-Jan-20 19:47:26

Experienced I can't really say how but it happened.

annep1 Thu 23-Jan-20 19:58:31

It could be embarrassing although after such a long time things possibly might seem less important.

MissAdventure Thu 23-Jan-20 20:00:48

The couple I wrote about died, years ago, but now I worry if any sons or daughters might read it.

M0nica Thu 23-Jan-20 20:43:50

As far as I know only one of my friends is on GN - and she is a friend made through GN. Obviously I would not publish anything about her, but I do refer to my family, but nothing that would embarrass them if they did see it, other times I will not write on certain subjects because I do not think I have a right to because the experience is owned by another member of the family. With friends I will fudge the story. make a few changes to ensure they are not recogniseable.

But at the end of the day very few family problems or events are unique to one family, Lots of people share the same experiences. The family of my DGS's best friend is exactly the same as DGS's family, children, gender and order, the fathers both do the same unusual job but not together. There are a whole lot of fairly unusual characteristics they share. If I wrote of them in a recognisable way. It would still not be clear which family I was talking about and for all I know other families in the same city might match the family profile.

Tangerine Thu 23-Jan-20 21:59:29

I haven't told a soul that I participate in this forum.

To be on the safe side, I am careful about posting personal details about anyone I know but, if they don't know I'm on Gransnet, how would they know it was me posting?

It would have to be a fairly unusual set of circumstances to be instantly recognisable.

Please tell me if I'm wrong.

Tangerine Thu 23-Jan-20 22:08:41

I may get a shock and someone will say they know who I am in real life!!

annodomini Thu 23-Jan-20 22:40:40

From some references I made to my career, someone worked out my identity and sent me rather a rude pm, which was my reason for a change of name- long ago. This is who I've been for a very long time!

Chestnut Thu 23-Jan-20 23:03:02

Well I have shared one or two interesting threads with friends or family, then worry that they might identify me if I'm on that thread because I'm saying things I've said to them! I can't help feeling how easy it could be to identify someone.

TrendyNannie6 Thu 23-Jan-20 23:07:45

Two of my friends know I’m on gransnet they are on it too, but no I wouldn’t write about them, no guilt then lol