Immortal

The most offensive cold caller i have ever had the misfortune to speak to was trying to me advertising space. He became quite rude when I said I wasn't interested, so much so that I felt quite upset - in fact, he swore at me as he ended the call!

There was only one place he could have got my details, which was a brochure advertising local services. However, because of where I live, I also had an ad in the adjoining region's version of the same brochure.
The man was clearly working his way through them both, calling all the people advertising, because he called me again about a week later. I recognised his voice instantly and my goodness, I didn't half give him a piece of my mind!

I am registered with the telephone preference service. It has greatly reduced the number of nuisance calls but some still ring. I ask to be taken off their call list and say they are breaking the law, I now have their number and will be passing the information on and to expect a fine

That's what I meant when I posted about there being a difference between people who are just doing a job (be polite but firm) and those who are scamming you, or in your case Growing0ldDisgracefully, being too persistent. I really don't see why we should be expected to be polite to people like that, and why shouldn't we have some fun while winding them up?. The problem I find is that I can never think of the clever ways to do it until too late.

Can I add to my last post that I was called 'a f*cking idiot" because I said no thanks.

While I agree about people trying to earn a living, there is one particular company who incessantly cold called me, despite repeatedly being asked to remove my number from their list. These people therefore I consider as fair game for winding up, particularly because they are pretty offensive when you tell them you are not interested. Their response is generally along the lines that they can't see why you wouldn't be interested (they claim to be a survey company). They are always changing the number they call from, so call blocking doesn't work. I just don't answer the phone now to unknown numbers. Let's hope I haven't missed out on some mystery win because of this!

Caller: We have a special offer - one month of free life insurance.
Me: Do you know something I don’t?
Caller: I’m sorry, I don’t understand.
Me: I benefit if I die in the next month, right?
Caller: Yes.
Me: And if I stay alive, I get nothing, right?
Caller: Yes, that’s right.
Me: So if you think you are offering me something worth having, you must know I’m going to die in the next month? Oh my God, I must be terminally ill! Did you talk to my doctor?
Long pause....
Caller: No, it’s just a sales technique, really. Please don’t worry. I’ll put that down as ‘not interested’.

I just say "not interested thank you" and hang up. I try to avoid being rude because I think they are perhaps just doing their job.

Jenni123 you made me laugh out loud! priceless!

A great thread made me laugh.
I was cold called a few years ago asked if I would like a conservatory I said no thank you,but on and on she went.
So in the end I agreed.
Was asked for my address so I told them Flat 19 Tower house and the lifts working.
Phone went dead.

Which 'gods'?

the mess in the world is MANMADE .not gods.

good one .i was decapitated

i always say .it will be your funeral next if you dont stop calling me.

My mother, who was 99 at the time, often had such calls. She usually politely said she wasn't interested and hung up. Once when I was there, she said "Just a moment, I'll pass you over to someone who understands you better". I took the phone and the young chap said "Is that Mrs xxx?". I just said "No, I'm her daughter." He said "Now you're confusing me" and hung up!

Best one is the "our records show you've been in an accident that wasn't your fault"....to which my husband replies:
"Which one?"....
"The one that wasn't your fault"...
"I've had several lately that weren't my fault. Which one are you referring to?
Line goes dead...

Was it on Gransnet that I heard about someone receiving a cold call about a car accident. It went something like this:

'I'm ringing about the motor accident you had recently'.

'Oh right'

'You can make a claim'

'Really?'

'What were your injuries?'

'I was decapitated'.

End of conversation.

I feel so sorry for people who have to work in these call centres. Horrible job,and lousy pay. Cannot see what is funny about winding them up even further. Just say, No Thanks and put the phone down.

Thanks for the laughs!

We get very few cold calls now, and I have to admit that much as I’d like to string them along, nowadays I just say, sorry, I’m not interested and put the phone down.

A dd when a student once had a holiday job in a call centre, cold calling businesses.
She only lasted about 10 days - as she said, it’s not much fun being told to f*ck off all day long. So I do feel for them - up to a point!

I speak Dutch to them.

I had a call from an Insurance company yesterday. I handed the phone over to my 16month old grandson. He babbled away on the phone while the insurance chap kept saying "pardon, pardon ". I sat laughing .

It seems to me that there is a difference between not being rude to people doing a proper sales job (although they still shouldn't phone you if you have opted out) and being as rude or silly as you like to people like the Windows ones who are obviously trying to scam you. I think that they are fair game, and I love some of these suggestions!

When a guy rang me about the ‘traffic accident’ I had had after telling him, thank you but I haven’t had an accident, he then insisted I had, so I told him I was worried about the accident that’s he’d recently had, he assured me that he hadn’t had an accident, I insisted that he had and he again insisted he hadn’t so I told him I was so happy that neither of us had had an accident and hung up It was funnier than it sounds at the time

I have tried just about every ruse I can think of and yet they still keep coming back for more.
I vary my answers but my favourite is "hold the line caller, I am putting you through to our fraud department".

Funny replies but I can’t be bothered. I just say no thank you straight away and hang up. I haven’t been rude to someone doing an awful job but I haven’t wasted my time either

What a fantastic conversation, Vampirequeen.
When I have been told to turn on my computer and open windows, I say ‘Hold on a minute because I’ve got to find the key to unlock my window’. They usually give up on this stupid old lady.