Robbie Williams and surrogacy

OK logically if we are to look at that unemotionally (and I apologise if this causes distress to anyone who has been involved in adoption or surrogacy) what those who think damage is caused by adoption or handing over a surrogate baby are sayng is that a baby shouldn't suffer any trauma. The obvious way of stopping that is abortion or never permitting surrogacy. You are in fact saying it would be best for them if some people never existed. It's rubbish. We all suffer small amounts of trauma. I was seperated from my mother for months when I was less than 3 because she was in hospital. In those days children were not permitted in wards so I never even saw her and I survived. And no sort of work to repair the damage was even considered.
Stop dwelling on the negatives and look at the positives. Children are cared for and loved by parents who wanted them and who will do their best to raise them, be they adopted or surrogate. Save your concerns for those unwanted children born into violence and discord.

Do we really want to roll back that way? To when household names were insulated from ethical/legal/moral standards that the ordinary folk are held to?

Trusher what about the children of surrogates? Its tragic enough when women die carrying their own babies, but to die being used by someone more well off who didnt want to take that risk for their own children?

If we are to lessen risk for parents notanan2 the logical thing to do would be to stop them driving cars. It's dangerous!

Bravo trisher

Trisher,
You are absolutely correct. I echo Annie, bravo.

I absolutely do not understand why surrogacy and adoption and being lumped together here.

With adoption, the child is here. We don't know the circumstances and somebody wishes to care for the child. Again we don't know the circumstances. In the UK the process is done carefully and is strictly regulated. Support is offered to the adoptive parents and the child. Fantastic. An excellent thing.

Surrogacy, there is no child ( yet). Somebody or bodies choose to have one.I can think of many reasons why this may be unwise and personally, I feel uncomfortable with the concept of wealthy people using surrogacy. I think I am able to hold this view if I wish?

Well said trisher.

Not all who turn to surrogacy are wealthy

Adoption and surrogacy are being lumped together, because a poster made a point that children in both circumstances experience the same brain changing trauma. That it’s damaging in the same way to both. That the children are irrecoverably changed.

Please tell me about anybody who is not wealthy and turns to surrogacy?

In all actions with regard to children the welfare of the child is paramount. We dont deliberately do things that would cause harm. Trauma is unavoidable for many, but to deliberately set out to cause it makes me very uncomfortable.

There are cases of surrogacy between friends/family members

Familial surrogacy is a much different dynamic to commercial surrogacy and the separation is less of a guiletine effect.

Familial surrogacy is as old as time, comes up frequently in geniology.

Celebs dont tend ask their own friends/family to carry the risks for them tho

Well said trisher. I also agree with Greymar that we aren’t helping this discussion by lumping adoption and surrogacy together

Family/friend surrogacy seems to be much more open these days too. The children knowing X is my special aunty/tummy mummy

In commercial surrogacy the mother is often not acknowledged at all. I refer again to the Dalys whose child apparently only has 2 fathers and the surrogate must not be referred to as any sort of mother, if at all!

Jayne Judge. . Where do you get your information from. I assume you are talking about RW, I can't see any girls queuing it would be an impossibility to think he could do that.
I think this thread has been derailed, I feel sorry for any adoptive parents reading these comments, they are in my opinion, some of the best moms, as their child is a wanted one. it is no guarantee that a naturally conceived child will not have issues about something or other. As moms we all do our best. Adoptive or not.

notanan2 can you explain then how familial surrogacy doesn't affect the child's brain as you have posted in other cases? Or does the child somehow know when there is money involved?

I'm guessing and hoping in the family set up, there is more skin to skin contact and less of a wrench for Mum and baby? Maybe?

It is so wrong to judge many by Daly and Williams words and
wealth

notanan2 can you explain then how familial surrogacy doesn't affect the child's brain as you have posted in other cases

I did not say that it didnt. It can also throw up a whole host of other issues.
I simply mused that it is a different dynamic to commercial surrogacy

Mainly from the surrogate mothers point of view.

In familial surrogacy the alturism claims ring a little truer than in commercial surrogacy. Commercial surrogacy = more exploitative from the womens point of view

Surely it’s up to the surrogate mum. No-one is forcing them to do this. It is their own choice. (Maybe not in US where they may do it for money.)
However I know someone (heterosexual couple ) who were unable to have children (lots of miscarriages etc) and in desperation went to US for a surrogate baby. They got to interview the prospective mums and both sides had to accept the contract. They have had two children this way, now both in their early teens and are very happy. Why should they be denied this?

Babies were biologically theirs and implanted I think