Wolf whistling, ok. Or offensive. Thoughts!

endless it is not classified as sexual abuse - that’s the usual DM rubbish and it would only be harassment in a bigger context. But if you read the thread most women and girls don’t like it at best and find it threatening, upsetting, demeaning at worst. Distance is irrelevant. Men should just NOT do it. Full stop. I’m sorry you’ve had awful things happen to you but that doesn’t give you the right to minimise the feelings of others - it’s not a competition and it should make you more understanding if anything.

Why did you not like it, then?

Same here Endlessstrife

I think a whistle... from a distance of say 200m from a building site, is a far cry from harassment and sexual abuse. I didn’t always like it, but never felt threatened, and I certainly didn’t feel it was ever going to go further. On the other hand, I have experienced harassment, and that is totally different, and on one occasion, involved the police.

*Basically it is someone saying 'I want to have sex with you'

I've got to disagree with that. A whistle? Just letting someone know they're found attractive. I've whistled at a man before but I didn't want to have sex with him.*

So what does finding someone attractive mean? I'm not saying that finding someone attractive necessarily means that you will have sex with them, but surely the meaning of it is that you would like to?

When we talk of finding someone attractive, nine times out of ten (specially in the context of a stranger who is being judged on their appearance) we mean sexual attractiveness.

I have always worn my blonde hair long.....I don't know what it is about blonde hair that attracts weirdos! It always frightened me when I was walking down the street and a Male would slowly drive up beside me and start propositioning me. I got so tired of it that I once yelled back to an idiot that he was lucky that I didn't arrest him because I was undercover police vice squad!
Needless to say he screeched away in his big blue Cadillac as fast as possible.
Fast forward 45 years...still wear my <blonde> hair long...not long ago I was walking along and I hear a young man whistle at me in a car coming up from behind me.....when the car got right beside me I turned and looked at the occupants and saw that it was the passenger in the car making the fuss....his mate(the driver) and I burst out laughing as it was now obvious from the front that I wasn't some young hotty.. I was an old granny with plenty of wrinkles....The driver of the car and I were in hysterics! The wolfwhistler was very red faced...I'm sure his mate will not let him forget about the time he tried to pick up a granny!

Not a person...

You whistle at a dog, or a horse, y'know.

Basically it is someone saying 'I want to have sex with you'

I've got to disagree with that. A whistle? Just letting someone know they're found attractive. I've whistled at a man before but I didn't want to have sex with him.
I agree with Bluebell & Opal.

timetogo - are you serious. Yes, its clear you are. You are so wrong though, to conflate sexual harassment with sexual abuse. Ask those girls abused in Rotherham, Oldham, Rochdale and Oxford for example, whether being sexually harassed as they walked home from school, by the men who went on to sexually abuse them was the same. Nope, it wasn't. Both were totally unacceptable but sexual abuse leave life long scars, sexual harrassment probably usually less so.
TerriBull - thanks so much for your contributions to this thread. They've all hit the nail right on the head.

The Benny Hill brigade love it, obs.

its not a thing of the past unfortunately.
there was a programme on radio 5 live in the afternoon about a month ago, on the harassment that women and girls have to endure in the street, on public transport etc.
they are going about their daily lives and have to duck and dive and dodge from this flak or worse.
how can anyone fail to see it as everyday sexism.
many are youngsters, children in school uniform, even when in company with their parents, being shouted and leered at.
the male presenter of the programme was appalled and said he had no idea this was going on, would always challenge it if he heard it, and was concerned re his young daughters.
i can understand if people are really unaware, but not how people can dismiss, minimise having to walk through a barrage.
it is an exercise of power.
we can shout what we like because you are a shape, a thought, for our amusement, you are not a person like we are, and if you dare object we can overpower you and then you will really be sorry, so you better behave and accept it, know your place.
thats what it comes down to. a fascist idea, might is right. but we stand for something else, human dignity and equality, and the rule of law, a civilised society.

plan-uk.org/act-for-girls/street-harassment

timetigo2016

so did you actually like being asked to "show us your tits" or being offered "I'll give you one"

are you saying you enjoyed this kind of thing?

I think it shows a coarseness of character to wolf-whistle.

It serves only an inflated ego at best for both recipients.

Best to have the inner confidence, than rely on objectifying your body, or someone else's..

In my early teens, and soon to be a beauty queen - so looked a "hotty" as they say, I confronted a wolf-whistler (come on now you know me by now!)
I marched up to him and explained I knew his family - He reddened, and spluttered apologies profusely, whilst his work pals chuckled.

I did not know him from Adam, Lol! I got the last laugh.

RTFT time and then come back and explain why mothers of girls/vulnerable women are wrong to regard it as unacceptable. Quite frankly when I see posts like yours I know the world has gone mad.

They never bothered me in the slightest.
I was told recently it`s now classed as sexual, abuse the world has gone mad.

Good post Terri. I completely agree. What saddens me today is the increasing emphasis on body and looks ( with boys and young men affected as well). That’s one reason why I passionately detest programmes like Love Island for the damage they do to our young people snd how the popular press and those awful celeb magazines objectify women in particular and focus on what they wear their weight and looks.

The last time I can remember being wolf whistled at was 40years ago the men were in a van behind me and when they reached the side of me were visibly shocked to see I was 39 weeks pregnant and guide large out front

I know exactly where you are coming from suzie, back in the dark days of the '70s Page 3 girl pin ups stuck on walls and deemed acceptable in offices, also pissed me off. The nearby Playboy Club to where I worked, was considered some sort of up market venue. Was there ever anything more ridiculous than women walking about with floppy ears, a fluffy ball stuck on their arse and their tits on shelves elevated to ear level, and no , as some would assert to women like me who objected, I wasn't jealous because I was confident enough in my looks not to be. My feelings were that they were objectifying us all, because "some" men in their crassness would seek to make comparisons with the women they worked with and the "pin up" My point is that some women will happily objectify themselves and are easily flattered by base behaviour, the wolf whistle, being clearly crass bravado to many, often accompanied by salacious sexual innuendo. Some, don't ask me why, bask in being appraised as if they were a lump of meat.

Terri I do feel that I can tell another women that by accepting and god forbid enjoying wolf whistling she is enabling men to make women and girls lives harder. That’s not OK.

As an individual suzie, I don't really think I can tell other women how they should feel and react to wolf whistling, all I know is I didn't appreciate it ever, I wasn't flattered by it, some are. I never felt I needed to be validated by some oaf who I didn't know from Adam, and at worst when I was still a child, it scared me, particularly as stated in a previous post, aged about 12 I had a car kerb crawling behind me.

Of course mocking disability, racial abuse is completely unacceptable and now with the advent of everyone having a phone, as you say it can be recorded as a testament. I'm sorry for your unpleasant experience, heaven knows what sort of person would mock anyone with a disability.

The one time a random stranger thought he could mock my disability in the street, he ended up cowering in a shop doorway as I summoned every Anglo Saxon word I knew ( and then some) and employed them at the top of my voice n his direction . These days of course I’d just get out my iPhone and start filming it and put it on local social media ( and report it of course)

I also think that if we accept random strangers passing comment on females attractiveness through whistling out in public, then why is it not OK to shout comments out to black people or disabled people or fat people out in the street?

I don’t agree * Terribull*. It’s not OK if some women like it. Some men think it’s OK to spit in the street - it’s not. Some women don’t mind suggestive comments in the work place. There should be a clear message about certain types of behaviour that are deemed acceptable or not. I applaud those women ( examples on here) who have addressed wolf whistling by complaining. We should as women care about other women and girls and not just accept something as fine because we think it is when we know very well others don’t and it can do real damage.

suziewoozie Greymar and TerriBull - spot on.

My experiences were terrifying. I was followed home once by someone who wasn’t happy when I told him to p* off after he whistled at me. My fault I suppose, I should just have been flattered and said thank you.