Children or best friends

I have 2 sons and one daughter, was a single parent mostly, and when young they were all taught respect and boundaries. They have always been able to talk to me about anything at any age, it’s what I’ve encouraged, even tho it has been a little uncomfortable at times, that’s what parenting is to me .... I still feel it’s very special that they are able to turn to me with absolutely anything even now that all 3 are in their 40’s.

No, my adult children are not my friends. The bond is even deeper than friendship but of a different and visceral sort.
My friends are not the same as my family but I love them all.

Children and friends are quite different and should be treated as such.

Quite a few Gransnetters have said they don't discuss sex with their adult children - well I don't discuss my sex life - but sometimes things about their sex lives have come up and I am happy to discuss and advise if I can. One of my daughters had to have a repair 10 months after the birth of her child and we discussed that in full - whether she would have the op, how it would make things better for her sex life, and afterwards how she felt. I even saw the repair job which was amazingly well done. As others have said, I am always their mum - but we are friends and do things together, but I don't burden them with my worries.

Im not on facebook though,or the snapchat or anything,so they have their 'real' friends on all that,but they know im there as a parent,friend,advisor,etc whenever they want- i went to a hotel/ spa last wk with one of my AC,my middle daughter (with GC though too) but we enjoyed it so much we're going to another on our own nxt mth.& i often invite my youngest daughter( 27) on holidays.so yes we are friends too

Same here Septimia.

Although I would say that I am lose to my son, I don't really class him as a friend and he certainly doesn't class me as his friend!
My SiL and her daughter are friends- they used to work together as well as go out socially, but not so much since my niece has had children and my SiL has had to stop working due to her OH's ill health.
It's a bit like history repeating itself - my SiL seemed to do just about everything with her own mother, including work together which worked well for them, until there was a big fall out over something trivial- my MiL didn't speak to SiL for several years and didn't even want her own daughter to be told when she died!

I would never choose my children as my friends .... they are so different from me! My friends are my choice....
my children I would literally die for.... ( well at least give them a kidney) ..... they choose they’re own friends, all I ask is respect .. and I think they love me . Good enough.

Friends can come and go. As a parent you have/had a responsibility to nurture and maintain your child. Reaching adulthood you have done your job though at times it seems it never ends! No, not a friend but still have a listening ear and a few guiding words when needed.

You can say anything to a really good friend, not to my daughter

Really, justanotherwannabe? I’m just as careful what I say to my friends as I am to my family. Why would you want to risk hurting someone’s feelings by just saying anything, without thinking about the impact your words might have on them?

I think of my AD as my best friend. We are very close and talk about everything (except our sex lives!)

I do however respect her choices, although I wouldn't comment on them. And I praise her work, whatever I think (some of it is really interesting, some I could happily bin... unfortunately she tends to give me my least favourite ones!

You can say anything to a really good friend, not to my daughter... There are lots of no go areas, weight, finances, baby rearing... I keep my comments to myself, however well phrased and kindly meant!

The Oxford English Dictionary describes a friend as ‘a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations’, which rather implies that your own children can’t be considered your friends.

However, the question the OP asked was, ‘do you treat your AC as friends?’

Yes, I do. I try give my AC the same consideration & respect I give my friends.

When they were children, that is what they were to me, my adorable children
Now they are adults, my DD is my very best friend. The only thing we NEVER discuss is sex, everything else we talk about together.

I'm their mum ,first and foremost.I'll always be there when they need me and I'm happy that they choose to spend a lot of time with us and that they feel they can tell us any thing.Sometimes things I'd rather not have heard .I'm also their friend but not their best friend and I think thats how it should be .My GC also call me their friend ,my 16 year old GS introduced me to his new girlfriend as his friend and wee daftgrannie ,now that made me smile

No ! I am my daughters Mum . They have more than enough friends but only one mum .

I do the tough job, ask the hard questions , give the advice you will never get from friends .

That’s my job , I love them too much to take the easy way out and be their friend .

Then again I don't really have problems but we talk about pretty much everything.

We were brought up by a widowed mother who often needed emotional support and she leaned too much on my older sister and me to a lesser extent. I maintain it wasn't our place to worry about our mother, her friends and support groups could do that.
Because of that I try not to bother our DC with my problems, They have plenty enough of their own.

There isn't anything I wouldn't discuss with my sons and Dil, friends not so much.

I wouldn’t discuss personal sexual matters with anyone. B

No nonnie it’s not dependency .

I cannot see how a AC can be a friend. An AC is a person you brought into being, raised and nurtured and launched into adult life. In adulthood your relationship may well be of equality and friendship because you like them as well as love them, but their will always be a line you should not step over. I would never discuss personla sexual matters, mine or theirs, with an AC, which they (or I) might do with a friend.

Similarly, in good functioning families, there is an implicit background of support and security that is never quite the same with a friend.

First and foremost I am their mother but have a friendly relationship with all of them. Relationships with friends are different.

Think it might feel good to the parent to be best friend with AC but not sure if so good the other way round? Bit too much dependency?

Fine line between being friends and being best friends.