Non traditional funeral/memorial service

Thank you for answering me, Rosecarmel.

FlyingSolo, some people were upset that I chose not have a memorial service- I imagine for them- To say goodbye in a way they might have liked: a rented room, food, wine, or laid out in a casket- Perhaps according to their idea of what they thought he might have like? That could be too- I had no knowledge of him discussing his death with any of them- And they didn't indicate he did- They expressed their disappointment in their tone and questions-

My sister in law wanted to donate her body for medical research, but was turned down due to the fact that she had died of cancer. It always pays to have a 'plan B' incase this ever happens to anyone else in the future. An offer of donation does not gaurantee an offer of acceptance of a body for research once a person is deceased.
We ended up holding a short and simple cremation ceremony for her ith only close family members in attendance.

My dad left his body to medical science, so there wasn't a funeral. We had a little gathering at the hospital and a vicar (or whatever his title was) said some words about our dad's life, then we went to a local pub for a drink and some sandwiches.

I plan to do the same, and so does my husband - we both signed up for body donation, about 15 years ago

Rosecarmel, I am interested in what you mean when you say that some people felt slighted that nothing traditional was done for your husband. I could understand if you had meant that they felt he would have wanted or ought to have been given something more. I am not saying that they would have been right to think that. It is just that it seems you mean they felt you had done something that had offended them by not having a traditional funeral.

I find this an interesting topic as when my time comes I want to be allowed to go as quietly as possible without any funeral or gathering. I would go as far as to say the thought of people gathering and talking about me once I am gone horrifies me.

I do understand what you mean though when you say you are still saying goodbye almost 2 years later. I wish you well. x

Can I suggest that whatever you decide, you put it in writing. We were ‘lucky’ in that my late DH helped in the planning so we could say with absolute certainty that was exactly as he wished it to be. We didn’t have a celebrant at the burial or the ‘do’ after but did it all ourselves.

I had my husband cremated without any fanfare- The loss and the company of loved ones was enough- His place of employment had a memorial luncheon for coworkers- He passed quietly, surrounded by family, all of us gently holding him as his breath left his body- For us, it was both a gift and a shared responsibility, as life was-

Some people felt slighted that nothing "traditional" was done- Some people like to say goodbye and be done, having paid their respects in familiar ways- As for us, we're still saying goodbye almost 2 years later-

To each their own-

We had a celebrant for DHs funeral. Nothing religious just lots of lovely and funny memories and stories about his life. We played some of his favourite music some of it very lively but much appreciated by family and friends. A few minutes for reflection it was very uplifting somehow. Our family scattered his ashes nearly a year later.

I would like a full blown Catholic Funeral , with robes , Choir, incense and eulogy , a wake for three days first and a meal with all the trimmings after

BUT ....................

I won't be around to see it , so whatever happens happens

You don’t have to have a celebrant. My OH officiated at his mother’s funeral. There were no hymns or prayers. Some live music and a few readings.

My step father had a humanist funeral service and it was lovely followed by cremation.

My husband was asked to officiate for a friends funeral.
It was really moving, friends read out their memories of the deceased and some of his favourite classical music was played.

I want a natural burial with perhaps a Humanist celebrant saying a few words about my life. Then a drink at a local pub!

Yes, my DH arranged his own with our help. No funeral. Natural burial with a few present, then a ‘do’ afterwards.

I've just attended a memorial at a hotel. My relative was cremated (no gathering or religious service). When appropriate the ashes were collected and a later day was set for scattering and memorial.
Not everyone attended the scattering g of ashes. Buy many went to the bean feast at the hotel.
Is this a useful template for you to copy?

My cousin arranged a non religious cremation for her mum. Another cousin gave a eulogy, some music was played 'for time to reflect and remember' and that was it. I don't know what she did with her mum's ashes.
I know there are woodland burial grounds in some areas.