Time for another great Gransnet story!

"It's your own fault, I told you to use that face powder I gave you"

Fell down a ravine, losing many carefully wrapped Christmas presents. Father Christmas saw this debacle and grunted

to sing "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" to him, but he took offence and charged towards her and......

A very Dear friend called Cupid
She had a whole herd of friends who were very useful particularly one who's nose was very shiny so she used .....

Looking amazing as she'd been re-styled by Gok Wan and had her make up professionally done by

It was the ghost of Bambi’s mother.

Oops x twice ?

.....Leave my child ALONE,came a roar from behind a nearby willow. The most beautiful, voluptuous doe appeared before him, slavering from her mouth, her eyes on fire.......

"After becoming famous because of our film, it all went to her head and she became hooked on magic mushrooms which grow here in our forest and she lost the ability to outrun hunters", Bambi cried. But I'm going to....

A big tear fell from Bambi’s huge eyes.

“She’s dead” he sobbed, “killed by a hunter”.

Galloped towards the magical forest where he came across a bambi lying in the undergrowth. Wheres your mother dear he said softly...

"You know," said Sven "I'm inclined to drop the whole business and disappear back to LA. There could be someone there." And with one shake of his mighty head he

...of course there are always the York sisters/princesses. They both have incredible headwear, which is what you need in a Princess: the ability to carry off a good fancy dress. They’re probably down in Windsor hiding out with the Black Prince. The Royal Train leaves Perth at midnight - you’ll probably just make it. There’s a stable carriage at the rear - very comfortable & plenty of feed. Just ring your bell & they'll let you on ......

“I couldn’t possibly comment on that, more than my life’s worth, I would be accused of favouritism.
I will just say one of them is in Norfolk at the minute, the other one, well Frogmore, Vancouver, Los Angeles, can’t keep up with where she is. Maybe stick with the one over here now you’ve come all this way. Not sure if she can act though. Now the other one.....”

"Queen!" yelled the Prince. "There's only one Queen and I'm married to her! But there are heaps of duchesses. Take any of them. Take them all!"
"No need to shout," said Sven, "which one is prettiest?"

‘And I was sent here from Disney to try and sign up the future queen to appear in our next production. But if she’s not available, well, any spare duchess would do’

The bullet whizzed past his left ear and hit a passing reindeer full in the flank. ‘Ouch’ bellowed the deer, ‘that hurt’. A talking reindeer?? Whaaat the heck! ‘Of course I can talk - I’m Sven from Frozen’ .............

poacher, and as he toppled to the ground, his shotgun went off....

Strutted his stuff across the highland moors. Wobbling little on his Stillies he got caught in a trip wire intended for a poor unfortunate ....

and pointing it at her demanded she give him the Manilo Blahnik's. I have been looking for a pair of these he said putting them on then he...

"shove you off your Manolo Blahnik's and leave you on the patio like a bit of roadkill"
"But you are my pa!" she protested. Ignoring her the Prince just contnued loadng his gun..

"I'm the one with no heart" he sneered, "And you'd better get out of here before I

“I’m looking for the Yellow Brick Road. Who are you, are you the Scarecrow, or the Tin Man?”

keep chasing the house maids around the billiards table (although they could now all out run him and only kept doing it because he tipped them a tenner each time). "What do you want?" he demanded with his usual lack of charm "You look like the Wicked Witch of the West in those shoes."
"Well," she began

"My dad is Prince Philip," she replied. "Cant be," said the driver "He's 98, but he thinks he is only 78." she replied.
Anyway the driver changed course so they could go to Windsor Castle, where Prince P and the Queen were in lockdown. Prince P was suffering with his memory and was eating a lot of stewed plums and custard to keep himself young and fit so as to