Time for another great Gransnet story!

It's such a long way home, he thought as he trudged along the dark and desolate high street.

The empty shops were black caves except one a few yards further on which showed a dim flickering light. He reached it and looked in and-

Found a number of GN members, laughing, drinking, and messing about. ?

Saw that it was a sweet shop. He knew that his wife loved sweets so he.........

A shiver ran through his body. Three men were behind the counter, huddled round a ledger, a battered cash box and a....

Gigantic box of Quality Street.
He thought “Please, please, not the green triangles!!!”

But then he realised these weren't men as he had first thought but strange beings, who had noticed him and were giving him hostile looks

Their mouths were just big round holes, and chocolate was smeared all around their faces, if faces they were.

They were indeed Gransnetters!

They gave him a menacing look and said "do you want one?"

They greeted him warmly, come and join us they chortled, we've always got room for a good looking young man.

But you must bring gifts for the forum.

"What have you got?" they asked, as he sat down.

I've only got some Kendal mint cake on me but I can ring my best mate and he can bring his very particular talents. Shall I ring him, he's a very nice guy, works as a stripper?

A paint stripper. Any of you need any work done?

“You mean ‘paint’ stripper?

X post Jane10 !

“Well, I could do with an eyebrow lift”

He's an expert in his line and clears up after.

They all fell silent, the wind was now howling around the windows. Suddenly there was a crash and the candles fluttered and died.

Arghhhhhhhhh

Good grief! There's gooey, sticky fondant everywhere!! Quick, where's the soap, we're all covered in the stuff!

“There is no soap! What can we use instead?

In charged three enormous Great Danes

They had little barrels round their necks, copying St. Bernard’s, but instead of rum, the barrels contained bars of Pears and Wrights Coal Tar soap.

The St. Bernards were slobbering so much the soap bubble -up immediately.