I don't know what to do...

Has anyone any advice and ideas as to how to explain to a three year old why her grandparents have disappeared from her life. We have been her carer and a big part of her life while mum, a single parent works long hours as a nurse. Her aunt is having to step in, but she has to pass our house on the way home from nursery and cannot understand why she can't see us. At first I thought I would be able to see her in the garden and not have contact, but as DH is in the very high risk group I cannot risk it. I cannot think more than a day ahead as it is too heartbreaking. If I know she is alright it makes things more bearable in this powerless situation.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I understand you are trying to reassure me, justwokeup, but I am a very sensible person, not prone to panic attacks or overworrying.
I have a logical and analylitical brain and I have read some of the the scientific papers on this. My GP was not wrong, he was very matter of fact. I already knew how much at risk I was, you do not know what my comorbidities are and that my prognosis before this wasn't good anyway. The odds are stacked against me, but who knows, I may rise again!
It was actually having all this confirmed yesterday, which really upset me, I just kept putting it to the back of my mind.

I have just has a phone call from the cardiac dept, they are going to do my appointment by phone next week, as it's not advisable for me to be out and about.
I have three pairs of jeans to alter for my daughter, so she will now get them this week, instead of waiting for ages. Every cloud has a silver lining.

I understand your dilemma. Here in the states all the schools are closed until April 13. Mom is 91 and I am 70. My single daughter can’t work as there is no one to care for children. I can’t see mom or daughter or grandkids as mom and I are in the high risk group. They tell us to be six feet away from another person if we have to go out .
All they keep saying is to wash our hands. There is no hand sanitizer left. DaffydillyDo you have hand sanitizer? Use that between customers.

micmc47 I think the corona virus came here to the UK, and probably other countries, long before it was announced as such.
For example, in January, thousands of Chinese students returned to University from China after going home for Chinese New Year. I know of cases of people working with them who had very a bad flu-like illness with severe coughing for up to 3 weeks in late January. Others I know had the "coughing flu" for a few days in January or February. Nobody knew what it was and most did not go to the Doctor. Most now believe they had COVID19 as their symptoms match the list.

We cannot tell when this silent virus came to each country from China or even elsewhere. We know people can be infected and not feel particularly ill, carrying on with their daily life as usual. We only know the first diagnosed cases after it had been recognised. There would have been many cases which might have been symptom free or so mild it was unremarkable and others like the people I know who had "something" which in hindsight they see had the same symptoms, but at the time they did not know about covid19's symptoms and dangers.
As for saying a lot of science goes behind the PM's announcements! The trouble has been, particularly at the start, our PM ignored advice from very eminent leaders in the fields of virology and epidemiology and did not follow their advice, thus not containing the virus' spread. Think of the questions about why we were not doing what Ireland or France were doing? Think of the terrible fudging explanation about flattening the curve. This could only be done by stopping social contact not by letting people mix! Now he's had to say that the numbers of those ill and needing help has risen more quickly and much higher than "they" anticipated! So no flattening of the curve then, but a sudden steep rise! Which he was told would happen due to his measures! It is far too late to close this stable door now. Thousands upon thousands will die needlessly and before their time simply because our PM and his government did not listen to the experts.

It's time Johnson stood down and an inter-party committee with experts in virology and epidemiology and psychology was formed to lead us through this crisis. Daily bulletins need to be made by an intelligent, informed and comprehendible person. Not by a bumbling stammering bluffing idiot who only wants the lime light and changes his plans so many times we get dizzy and leaves people more confused after he has spoken than before.

But my point remains micmc47, nobody knows when this virus arrived in the UK and nobody knows the number of people who had it before it was properly recognised as this virus.

Maybe, if the government wanted to understand it better, they could ask people to send in their data as to whether they were ill prior to the beginning of March, say. They could ask, symptoms, dates, duration, whether a medic was consulted, did the person go out, did they mix, etc...

I am a carer for my 101 yr old Mum who lives alone, although luckily only a 5 min drive away. However My DH and I are both over 70 ourselves and have no choice but to go out to see her and do the shopping for her. She is reasonably healthy (!) and does everything for herself apart from going out. What a dilemma in what to do for the best, not an easy decision.

I am usually a pretty upbeat person but feeling very down today, and close to tears. I think it has just hit me that it could be a while before I see family and beloved GC again. Thankfully the whole family was with my mum two weeks ago, celebrating her 90th birthday, but with DH and myself in the vulnerable category we have had to wipe the calendar clean for the foreseeable future.

I am so sorry - we are all at war as Macron said. I am in lockdown in rural France and will miss the birth of my first grandchild. Communication is essential I think and we are so much better off in that respect than previous generations at war and enforced distance from loved ones. Bon courage. X

Daffydilly it must be so hard for both of you when you are both still grieving. Perhaps you could take up your husband's offer, or visit once before self-isolation wearing a mask and keep well away from your father, just to make sure he is ok and has shopping. If you decide it would be best not to, phone and Skype/WhatsApp if he is able. Leave his shopping and some treats outside and blow kisses at each other through the window! Marydoll try not to look for more than there is in this situation. We won't find out and excessive worrying won't help you - easy to say I know. I went to the care home yesterday to see an elderly relative and it was open to visitors. They are sensitive to the fact that the elderly residents need to see family and friends so have asked that we reduce visits, and never go if feeling unwell. That seems sensible, as do the PM's/CMO bulletins about what care to take. They seem to be looking to proceed in an orderly, calm fashion to limit the risk to the elderly and ill. There is no doubt that younger people will catch this disease (our family was ill at Christmas and us oldies for weeks), and perhaps that will help prevent a resurgence later. We can only trust medical advice and do what is asked of us but your doctor - like the media - is wrong to frighten you like he did.

Ellen Vannin, excuse my ignorance and thanks for the info. How are you coping with this?

A lot of older people are very stoic especially those who have lived through the 2ndworld war. Unfortunately this enemy is 'unseen'. I think they are a marvellous generation as a whole. They should maybe take more care though?

Gagsville this virus can be in your system for a week before it shows itself and this is where the danger has been. We're all different in that some can display symptoms within 3 days but with many it's 5 days to a week.

On Twitter the young are blaming the "boomer" generation for not changing their behaviour, appearing to to be stoic but really being what my nephew calls "calcified" i.e. carrying on as normal and I have to say that in the supermarket yesterday a friend said it was full of "disobedient 70 year olds".

My aunt is 88 and lives alone. I know at the best of times she is often lonely. She was unable to come for Christmas, so she has been invited for Easter. We would go to collect her, about an hours drive, and take her back a week later. I spoke to her yesterday and she has a very sketchy understanding of self isolation. Do you think it would be wise to bring her to our home for Easter, bearing in mind both DH and I are in the vulnerable group.?

Do you have screens up to shield you from your customers - sort of 1st line of defence ? Gloves and masks - that’s the bare minimum here in my village in Spain

Gad3 when we wash our hands as advised, they are clean. Just keep washing them during the day and try and not touch your face, especially eyes, mouth and nose as this is how it can easily transmit from me to you.

I am terrified for my mum who is 85 with health issues.She normally goes to church and a friend takes her shopping .I live 2 hour drive away don't know whether to visit for mother's Day or not .I am early retired but have DGD all day Wednesday and do school run twice a week for the other DGD ! Phoning is traumatic as she is so deaf ! End up shouting down the phone ? Thanks to all the retail and health staff for doing their best with all the stress they must be getting !

Well said Marydoll.

I loved the poem BlueBelle - so true. And calming as most of us get the jitters each day at some point.

Just a tip but if you carry a spray bottle with hydrogen peroxide mixed with water I think 3 water to one HP you can use to spray around face to kill off virus. It doesn’t seem to effect my skin. I also use inside mouth adding a few drops of oregano essential oil.
Can pharmacies ask for everyone to pay by card? To cut out cash handling?
Using FaceTime to stay in touch it’s difficult but thank goodness we have it ?

Apparently the Bars and Restaurants in Canary Wharf were packed as usual last night. What a load of selfish wally's! Why do some people think they are invincible? It makes my blood boil. This Virus can be asymptomatic for three days in which you can be a super spreader. For God's sake let's get real.

I so agree Marydoll.

A curse on all forms of media for seizing on the hysteria/doom/death angles of the current situation and magnifying them out of any proportion.

They'll spark off more fatal heart attacks through astronomical levels of anxiety and stress than the Virus. Not to mention a plethora of mental health conditions.

And please don't listen to any radio phone-ins - bar room philosophers abound. Especially beware of anyone who starts a conversation with "y'know what the government wanna do?......"

I cannot believe how blasé some people are on here. The "just carry on as normal" as normal attitude is dangerous and irresponsible. The current plan is to minimise the impact for now to try and allow the NHS to cope.

You don't need to show any symptoms for you to be a carrier. The virus can live on hard surfaces for hours, how long it stays on clothes is uncertain.
My daughter's company has made their canteen cashless, as has my dentist, to avoid touching cash. Everyone has to work together to beat this.

Yesterday, my GP told me to avoid all social contact, he literally put the fear of death into me. My children won't be visiting on Mother's Day, their decision, as they want to keep me safe.

Also I was told that I probably won't survive if I catch it. After speaking to him yesterday, I don't believe the media are stoking things up, I don't think the Government are telling us how bad things really are.
I am not some silly woman, who is easily scared, but I am terrified!

My logical and analytical brain tells me that there is much more going on than we are actually being told. You only have to follow the story in China and look at all the measures being taking across the world, to realise how dangerous it is.
Britain of course, with its stiff upper lip attitude is way behind as usual.

I took some statistics from the net last night to try to help a friend who is getting in to a terrible state. At that point the figures were:

1814 active cases of CV. Of those, 1794 (99%) were mild, and 20 (1%) were severe. I found these figures a comforting assurance. There was also a dip in the diagnosed cases for the last two days. China is now saying that they have the virus under control.
I know this changes nothing, and won't make some less fearful, but I am becoming increasingly angry with newspaper headlines that seem designed to cause panic and alarm, and also - let's have the figures for those that have recovered, as many will have.

Daffydilly. I feel for you very much. `you are one of the essential services unselfishly providing us with a service upon which our life relies. The sacrifice such people as you are making must not go unnoticed.

I would take up your husband's offer. Take things one day at a time. You can change your arrangements should you feel the need.

Meanwhile do phone your dad. Be as brave as you can and try not to let such very sad thoughts take over your mind. None of us knows how we shall die or when, and it is not strengthening to dwell on it except in very rate circumstances.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being one of those people who makes it possible for people like me to have our vitally needed repeat prescriptions. You are wonderful.

I pray a lot and I will specifically pray for you. Try to be positive amidst all this.

With love, Elle x