I don't know what to do...

Daffydilly,I hope you know you are much loved and appreciated.

I am 88 and have been aware for some years now "this may be the last time". It is sad, but it's better to face facts than not.

I tried to hyperlink the article, but failed. Hopefully this works. That discomfort you're feeling is grief. See:

hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief?utm_source=pocket-newtab&fbclid=IwAR2233Khqju0VmQDPy5OYap-yphPM6FLCJ0DVXW0CHSzaTckHoi56-upn3A

So sorry to hear about your worry and pain.

This article may be of help dealing with the emotions this ordeal brings out. I am rather stoic, but I had a cry thinking about how the whole world has changed, and wondering if it ever will seem normal again.

[https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief?utm_source=pocket-newtab&fbclid=IwAR2233Khqju0VmQDPy5OYap-yphPM6FLCJ0DVXW0CHSzaTckHoi56-upn3A That discomfort you're feeling is grief]

Oh daffydilly I feel for you so much. I’ve lost both my adored mum and dad so I totally understand the loss of your dear mum and the love you are desperate to physically share with your dad. I feel for you too with the lack of support and visits since your mum passed away from your siblings. Try to keep well and safe yourself (sooo hard with your job I appreciate) and eat well and keep an exercise routine going- the stronger you are the better for YOU and the better to keep your dad in good health too. Look forward to better times to come - they will - they have to - look forward to the blissful huge hug with your dad. Love. Love always. ❤️❤️

Daffydilly, I feel for you and thank you for continuing to work at the pharmacy so that people like me can continue to get essential medicines. It is horrible to read that pharmacists and other health workers are being verbally abused or physically attacked as angry people take out their frustrations at being unable to get certain things. Shops having to employ security or bring in the police (it'll be the army next). The world is going a bit mad and we can each only do our best to make the decisions that are right for us, our loved ones and the wider society. I had need to speak to my pharmacist a couple of days ago and she was being run ragged yet still brilliant with advice, reassurance and knowledge - I am grateful and appreciate her and people like you still caring and being professional when you have your own families to think of too - a nightmare. Please just keep yourself as safe as possible and give serious thought as to how to maintain some sort of contact with your dad even if it is different.

I fall into high risk categories and my better half is terrified of infecting me so we've had verbal contact only for over a week - likely to continue this way for the foreseeable. He has even prepped to move into his shed if he has to! His business partner lives with parents who are both highly vulnerable so we've all been discussing possibilities of how we would manage if the 3 of us end up here - a room each and lots of sterilising/wiping/bleaching/hand washing/laundry.

Guess the overriding message is to just do the best you can and hope that others do too. Stay as safe and positive as you can everyone - it's likely to take a while before life is 'normal' again.

Sorry, typo, meant gransnetters, not goers. Enthusiastic predictive text.

I have a lump in my throat reading all these posts. It’s not wimpy to feel upset and frightened.

Daffydilly, I hope you can manage to make arrangements for your work, keeping distance etc as other posters have said, and as others have said thanks for keeping on under such strain.

Like most posters I have worries to about family, DS has MS and is police officer. He’s been told by his line manger to go home, but is determined to keep working. He is in CID, so is in a position to work office based. It’s his choice, just praying it is the right one.

DiL is a nurse, so they’re both at risk (but who can say who isn’t?). I have been asked to self isolate because of a health condition that has never really bothered me. I have to share care for my 91 yr old Dad, so I feel backed into a corner. I will still have to carry on with that, but I’m sure he wouldn’t survive the virus.

We usually see dgds every weekend, but that will come to an end too.

to all goers who are stressed, frightened and upset.
It will end, and we will get through it. It’s come as a shock to us all. Perhaps it’s just a case of getting resigned to it, and keep going as best we can. Sorry if I’m just reiterating everyone else’s thoughts.

Amazing that you are so caring and your siblings just don’t bother.

Draw up.a friend list.That you can call to have a chat. Preferably people who.make you happy. This won't be forever

There's a big chunk of us that are At risk of catching it with dire consequences. Just remember that they are all working hard to.find a vaccine. Ring your Dad a couple of times a day. He would enjoy that and he won't Be quite as isolated. You can get frozen meals delivered to.the door for either of you so bear that in mind. We are all apprehensive so you are not alone. Try.to take every precaution but just think.day by day. Do.things that engage your mind so.you aren't thinking about it.

You are doing a wonderful job Daffydilly I pray you stay well for your own sake & for your family too.

Everyone is allowed to cry x

Well GabriellaG54 you might think it’s over the top but my single parent daughter has just been told that as of Friday she no longer has a job. She is devastated and I’m too far away to help her. Perhaps I’m allowed to cry now?

tickingbird/and tillybelle i also believe this virus could have been around in December and January,
My daughter, had something like this for 6 weeks, all over Christmas, and into January,she was taking antibiotics, 3 separate lots, plus steroids and had a chest x ray which showed a shadow, which was thought to be pneumonia
My sister also had it, plus my niece and husband, although they don't live near us
Also looking at mumsnet the other day,people on there are also questioning it,
So many who had that before Christmas and into the new year
It does make you wonder, as it first was noticed on November 17th in China
I really do hope the chinese are stopped now from having these wet markets, the animals could have been suffering from any disease to start with, and of course not tested

Thank you Tillybelle for your kind response. (I’m new to posting on here!) I am feeling a bit brighter this evening after phone calls today with one of my best friends, my mum, my sister and both DS. I think I’ll be spending a lot of time on the phone for several weeks. And DS reassures me that we can Facetime!

Steady on Tuppence15
It's not the end of the world.
Scream and cry? That's a bit OTT.

Have you seen the video taken outside an Iceland store?
2 security guys, 1 shop manager and 1 police officer all outside the door during the elderly and vulnerable time slots, turning away anyone who is not over 65 and they have to show some sort of ID as proof.

police officer

My heart goes out to you. I had a wobble yesterday and had an argument with my eighty year old mum who is always entertaining visitors and sees no reason to stop. My DH is over 70 and vulnerable and we are trying to isolate as much as possible. I feel alone and frightened. We didn’t panic buy so now we can’t get anything. I probably won’t see any of my Grandchildren this year. All we can do is take one day at a time and scream and cry when we need to.

I’ve been a lurker’ for a long time but feel the need to post to support Marydoll and all others who are taking care to follow sensible advice and to suggest that those who are cavalier with the safety of others should think again.

My younger sister should have retired by now but due to the changes to pension, is still working full time in a chemist, being verbally abused and on Saturday she was assaulted as someone couldn't get and paracetamol. I've told her they need to give her a risk assessment asap and get someone young on the front desk. It really isn't fair. She is a qualified dispenser, she'd be more use in the dispensary lab anyway. I realise people are frightened but I think 111 telling people to ask the pharmacist for the last 3 weeks was a huge mistake as people who were infectious all turned up in large numbers to a normally empty pharmacy.

I'm sorry for all you having to deal with your own new normals too. It's very difficult to feel positive but we all have to do what is right for our circumstances and loved ones health and wellbeing* all look after yourselves

*that doesn't include buying up ££££ worth of food and freezers etc It seems to have brought out the worst in some people.

Cathieb From what BJ said earlier there is a test in the pipeline that can detect antibodies. It can't come soon enough as then many people may find out that they've had it and hopefully now immune.

Cornwallgal I was very upset this morning. Just yesterday my 22 month grandson called me ‘ganny’ during face time and it was so adorable ?, but who knows when I’ll get to cuddle him again. I pulled myself together eventually but all of this is horrible. Truly horrible.

My heart goes out to all of you who are having family difficulties because of the virus. At the moment we don’t even know, for sure, if it will prove to be any worse than the usual seasonal ‘flu. I hope that this proves to be the case, but there will be huge repercussions from the measures that are being taken.
I feel so sorry for my friend whose 96 year old father is in hospital, and likely to die at any time. He doesn’t have cv, just age-related problems, but she is not allowed to visit him. “I just want to be able to give him a hug, before it’s too late,” she tearfully told me.

Why thank you Nannan2, I think that's the first time anyone has responded to me on GN. Quite made my day

Thank you TLVgran48 and Elle for your replies. The advice is greatly appreciated and it helps to know that there are others struggling too. Thank goodness for Gransnet.