Gransnet forums


Self isolation and childcare

(13 Posts)
Caramac Mon 30-Mar-20 09:42:27

My DD is a frontline nhs worker and SIL works full time. Though his job is non- essential it is in an area the govt have not ordered to close. It cannot be done from home. The bosses have no plans to close. The wrap around care offered at school does not cover the hours they work and so this week I shall have to walk to their house (very close by) to care for DGC. Im used to the childcare but just wish SIL could be furloughed as I think we should be staying in our homes. I’m in a vulnerable group and DH cares for his frail DF so we are concerned about potential infection and spread.
I’m not really looking for a solution.

Oopsadaisy3 Mon 30-Mar-20 10:36:41

TBH there isn’t one. You should not be caring for the children, by doing so you risk the life of your DF and yourself. Not to mention that you might carry the virus into your sons home and pass it on to your DIL.
Sorry to be blunt but the childcare of your GCs is not your problem, it is up to the parents to sort it out.
So in answer to your question the solution is not yours to find.Sorry.

Oopsadaisy3 Mon 30-Mar-20 10:37:14

Sorry pass it to your DD , not DIL

Riverwalk Mon 30-Mar-20 10:46:55

The OP didn't ask a question so there was no need to be blunt!

I suspect she is worried and just thinking aloud - and clearly says in her last line that she's not looking for a solution.

Caramac Mon 30-Mar-20 10:47:08

Oopsadaisy I know you’re right. We have thought about just moving the DGC in with us for the duration but that could be months they won’t have contact with their parents. It’s a safer way of providing care though.

Oopsadaisy3 Mon 30-Mar-20 10:53:46

Caramac it’s a tough situation and I suspect that most Grans will continue with childcare arrangements, we all think that we will be fine and for most I would imagine everything will be, for some there will be consequences and that’s what we have to focus on at the moment.
But there is no solution that will be safe for you and if this does go on for 6 months I really don’t know what half of the country will do about child care, or caring for elderly relatives.

Oopsadaisy3 Mon 30-Mar-20 10:56:33

I hesitate to suggest splitting families up, but could you move in with your DD and your DH move in with his DF? It could be for quite a while, but it might solve your problem

Greenfinch Mon 30-Mar-20 10:58:59

We have done just that Caramac and it is working very well so far. We took them out of school 2 weeks ago and they see their parents once a week in the garden when they bring our shopping. They are 12 years old which is old enough to understand and we can give much more help with the home schooling than their parents could. Thanks to mobile phones they can correspond with their parents daily.

Caramac Mon 30-Mar-20 15:01:05

I’ve just texted my DD and suggest I move in. The house is small and I will have to sleep on an air bed in DGC’s bedroom.
However, it could work. Far from ideal and would prefer the boys here. Maybe that is what we will do.

Iam64 Mon 30-Mar-20 15:30:38

Oopsadaisy3, I don't think you're right in supposing most grandparents will continue with existing child care. I don't know any grandparents who are still involved in child care. We are all supposed to be isolating, not meeting up with family members, only driving for essentials like food and oil leaving the house once a day for fresh air and exercise. None of that fits with child care.
It's very difficult for parents but it's difficult for all of them.

rosenoir Mon 30-Mar-20 15:40:12

I thought schools and pre schools were open for childcare when the parents had to work.

Oopsadaisy3 Mon 30-Mar-20 15:47:57

I suspected Iam not supposed, Im sure that there are quite a few who will be torn and worried about what will happen with childcare and if they can get away with it then I think they will. I’m being realistic.
How many threads have started on here about ACs wanting childcare to continue as usual and Grandparents debating about doing it.
There are people in our small village and they have their GC s dropped off each morning and picked up in the evening, as they have always done during the school holidays.
I’m not agreeing with it, just saying that there are some who think that they won’t catch anything and if they do, they will be fine.
Let’s not forget that without some Grandparents providing childcare many families wouldn’t be able to have both adults working, it’s certainly worrying.

Caramac Mon 30-Mar-20 16:31:09

rosenoir the wraparound care isn’t the hours my DD and SIL work. My DD leaves at 7am and is currently working until 8pm and SIL leaves at 6:30 am and gets home about 6:30 pm. DD is looking after Covid -19 patients and SIL cannot afford to just stay at home with no pay.