Might this be allowed?

Luckygirl, I think much depends on whether or not you are particularly vulnerable due to being over 65 and/or not in excellent health. If this applies to you you could be at risk from younger people who have been going to shops and out for walks. If one of the household is incubating coronavirus you could catch it from them.

There is nothing more dangerous than blind obedience. If I saw someone drowning or being attacked, I would not stand on the side and watch them drown/be murdered because to rush to their aid would mean breaching the social distancing rules.

As adults, not children, we should be capable of knowing what the rules are and of making the necessary judgements, if anything exceptional happens, to be able decide whether to flex or break them.

Luckygirl's recent bereavement and need for family support and concerns she and her family have about her metal state if alone, is just such an occasion.

If she or her family were in social seclusion because they had been in contact with someone who had Covid-19 or were unwell that would be different and the move would have to wait until the social seclusion period was over.

Thank you all for your contributions - it is kind of you to give it consideration. My DD is aware of the fact that the risk to my mental health is high just now, having so recently been bereaved - and that there is a risk to my physical health if I do move in with them. Both scenarios put me in a position where NHS staff would be putting themselves at risk to provide me with care. I understand this. It is central to my decision-making.

I will have to weigh things up and try and come to a good decision.

I’d say no.

Or don't do it - it could cost lives.

Also agree with what GG54said..

Oh do it..
You need to...x

rosenoir
I can't believe you said that ?
If the OP finds that it doesn't work out she can always go home?
How irresponsible is that?
Back and forth...ah, no problem. Some people...?

I also think it's wrong to be asking us what we would or you should do in this sort of serious situation.

It's make your mind up time but it would be wrong to pop back home to check all is ok, or retrieve something you forgot to take with you, once you move.
I'd make absolutely sure that I was in it for the long haul and take all that I needed, including suitable clothes for warmer weather, your favourite shampoos and stuff like that plus having your post re- directed.

(can she take the risk)

kircubbin2000, Luckygirl knows that it's against the rules and the rules are there to keep everyone as safe as possible.

She has to decide whether she can tolerate the isolation. If not, there's the increased physical risk to health.

Whether she'd be happier fitting in with family or doing her own thing is another consideration.

Ultimately, can take the risk of somebody becoming ill because of her choice? It's a tricky decision.

What a lot of agonizing! Of course go, you don't need permission use common sense.

At least you get to spend time with the gorgeous boy GagaJo I know how much you adore your grandson.
?

Such a thoughtful daughter too, helping to facilitate your inclusion into family life.

I would be packing my bags as we speak Luckygirl your well being is very important to your daughter, she is a caring daughter who wants to look after you in these dreadful times, they are doing all the right things re virus, please say thanks very much and move in, and enjoy the love and support and lovely surroundings.

I said this is worse than dealing with children because it is.

Scenario:

Mother says no candy before dinner - aka stay at home only essential travel
Note: op going to her dd is NOT essential travel. OP and dd can videochat, call each other, etc., in order to deal with loneliness

Child: but the candy is strawberry flavoured! My favourite! - aka I know the rule but I still want go to to my dd/supermarket/on vacation/etc. I dont care about the rules!

It is worse because a child understands the rule.
An adult that sees a rule imposed for the wellbeing of the whole society and yet they try to rationalize they are the exception is plain selfish and inconsiderate of others.

It's a tricky one but Eglantine is right. Every time somebody leaves the house you have to re-set the clock.

It's a risk a family have to take when they have no choice so I can see why you are uncertain about which path to take, Luckygirl

My daughter is isolating for me. She and my grandson are lower risk. I'm not at HUGE risk because I'm mid 50's but do have low level asthma. Consequently, she doesn't EVER go out grocery shopping because she could carry it back in with her.

I'm not seeing my partner because he isn't isolating. So I came back to the UK (working overseas) and haven't seen him at all since I got back because he won't isolate. Ironically, he is at greater risk than me (70, smoker). I was upset when I first realised I wouldn't be able to see him, but it was the right decision.

You will be at increased risk because you will be living with someone who goes out into the community.

How much of an increase? The truth is nobody knows. If your SIL went shopping yesterday he could be incubating it today so saying they haven’t shown any symptoms so far doesn’t really mean anything.

You will, if that risk proves a mistake, probably need nursing care because if your health, so your decision, though a drop in the ocean, will have consequences for others.

If having thought about both those things you still decide it’s best to go, then that’s the right decision for you.

I've recently lost a loved one (on the 11/3) and have been under pressure from family members to go and stay with them. Grieving in isolation is tough. There's nobody to hug or to cheer you up.

Still, here I can entirely please myself about everything - when I get dressed, eat, walk the dog, play music, nap, watch a film etc. with nobody else to consider.

I've decided that staying with others would just be too stressful for me. They want me there so that they don't have to worry about me, understandably - but I'd really hate it!

In your position I would go, I cannot see a safety issue and if you find it does not work out you can always return home.

There is a family in my road, two separate houses that have combined for the duration.

I agree with GagaJo (actually this is becoming the new norm for us haha! ?)

Luckygirl YOU are the most vulnerable person here. The smalls and the adult children are more likely the spreaders to YOU. Your medical history bears this out.

If your son in law would agree to a period of household quarantine before you join them, I think you would then all be safe together.

Best wishes. x

I think if you want to you should go. You are intelligent people weighing up the risks.
If it will make you all happier, go!

I think your post is unnecessarily harsh Hithere. Risks always have to be weighed up against benefits and there is NO absolute safety. Luckygirl has clearly weighed up all the pros and cons

I swear it is worse than dealing with little kids
How is that in any way helpful?

Hithere - I hear you, believe me. I too get frustrated when people do not take this seriously.

But I am also clear that the risk would be all mine, rather than anyone else's. I would not risk spreading anything to anyone as I have been in isolation for 3 weeks and am symptom free.

The risks to me are twofold - both physical and mental.

Under no circumstances would I do anything that might put my family or anyone else at all at risk. I have a history of a serious depression that put my life at risk; and this current situation risks re-awakening that scenario, in which case I would need help and treatment that would involve me mixing with professionals for care.

It is about balancing risk.

You may rest assured that I would not do anything irresponsible. I take all this with the utmost seriousness. It was a scenario that my OH (a doctor) had predicted for a long time.