Don’t want to be offended ... but I am!

Offended? Over an offer of help? Surely not. You're joking, right?

That was a caring gesture made by your neighbour I would have been touched if they had put a note through my door.
Here am I living alone in my early sixties. I have some medical problems but not enough to put me in the high risk groups. I have had to go out and get food supplies, medication, etc. I have my dogs and do enjoy the exercise slot so they can go out for a walk. I have had no notes, contacts from anybody around-about my community who has made any offers of help.

I actually have bought some extra shopping for my daughter when out as with three young children she is struggling and I take it and leave it outside her front door.
I am now getting bored and have been wondering where I can offer my services and maybe deliver medication or food to those who cannot get out.

Yes I am possibly regarded as over the hill at over 60 years but I am not ready for the zimmer frame yet. I fight on.

I would be very grateful for the offer. It means they are caring helpful people , and that's what the country needs right now.

Ha...I am (luckily so far) a fit and healthy 73 year old....but in the retirement flats where I live there are many very elderly people. I do not have a car, but help where I can ...it makes me very sad that those who have cars and are still shopping NEVER ask those less able if they would like anything, and other help for them is severely lacking if they have no one ! even the garden is locked and the bench outside is tape up …...people who live on the ground floor with access to the garden are able to enjoy the outside space …...I feel really really sorry for one lady on the top floor who is 96 and alone ….so THINK TWICEA BEFORE YOU buy a retirement flat is all I can say ….I wish I had bought a house now ...but these things never sell …..oh well, we all learn ...but I am so so surprised by the lack of friendly helpful neighbours ! I would buy a car tomorrow, but having not driven in the UK for 21 years it somewhat puts me off ….as does the hassle to change my European licence for a British one ……...but if I could help them with shopping I would love to do so ….also sadly too old to volunteer in the NHS …….stay safe and remember those less fortunate !

I think it’s unlikely to be due to your age and how lovely that you have neighbours who care, the community spirit coming out from this is wonderful to see. Personally I d love someone to come and offer to walk my dogs and feed them because at 63 and having been retired for 18 months I m about to don a nurses uniform ( and PPE hopefully) and head off to work in the Nightingale Hospital that has just been constructed in my home town so let’s not be offended at kindnesses and be thankful and look at the positives ??Xx

Oh dear someone is trying to do something thoughtful and helpful and you are offended. If they don't know you that well they may be thinking you might have to isolate due to underlining issues.
Take it on the chin what lovely thoughtful and willing neighbours you have. You could always put a note through their door thanking them very much for being considerate but you're managing ok.

That way they could use there time to find others that really need help.
People like this should be celebrated not taken personally.

I am83, just had a request from a niegh bour to pick up some shopping for her.

Sure there's a slight element of humour in the posting. I'm a similar age and my daughter thought my son should be doing my shopping. That's all very well, but I still have go to work every day! (Very back room NHS).

On the estate where I live the Community Response Team has put a card through every door explaining how to get help if needed . As others have said, it's not about your age. Anyone on their own, e.g. a single parent, could be sick and self-isolating and need help.

Ok I am old, I’m 75. But I certainly don’t ‘feel’ I’m old! I live on my own. My son and family live in France so I’ve had lots of offers of help, from friends of my son and even from people my age. And I’ve never been referred to as many times before as “elderly” - by the Government, by supermarkets on the News etc! So that’s a little depressing. However! I think it’s lovely of everyone who’s offered to help. I feel cared about.

Wonder how you might have felt if you were in anyway unwell and no one had offered their help ? Many of my neighbours have offered myself and each other assistance if required. I dare say asking might be a different matter but as we are stuck in behind closed doors it is good to know those nearest in distance might be help.
None of us really know each other before, it now feels like a good communal spirit, especially as many joined the Thursday clap. Something good has come out of this awfulness !

My neighbour asks me and I ask her. It all goes towards reducing the time we’re out and about. Ask them the next time you go shopping to reduce their exposure.

I’m 70 and my neighbours pretty much ignore me at the best of times so certainly haven’t asked if I need anything! ?

People are just trying to be kind in these difficult times. Put age out of your mind. If you need to, then take them up on this. Anyway, how do they know the age of everyone who lives in the street? Be grateful as no one around here has even offered and my DH is doing the shopping for the three of us.

NanNan - there's more to worry about at the moment than you being offended. A kind neighbour has thought about you, does it matter if she thinks you're 'old'. No. Thank her in a little note, and say at the moment your'e managing but if the need should occur you will contact her. By you ignoring her offer but make her feel, well what's the point in trying tohelp@ Get your act together lady and stop thinking about yourself.

My husband and I are in our mid 60s and are the oldest in our street but ironically are the only ones going out to work. Mostly, people are working from home but we work for the NHS. We’ve had offers of help, though from people who don’t realise we’re leaving the house most days.

My local parish council have sent out a letter with numbers of people and groups who are able to help if the need arises. They also put 2 cards, 1 red, 1 green, to out in your window showing whether you need help. I have out the green one up and am disappointed that not many people have bothered. I think it’s rude to ignore the gesture. But I expect they will be quick to out a red one up if they do need help.

Be grateful they thought of you and thank them saying you're OK at the moment but will remember their kind offer should a need arise.

Yes, Don't knock it how ever young or old you are it is safer to stay at home so if someone is kind enough and willing to risk the supermarkets Well?

Going back to the age thing - I always remember when I was a little girl my mother used a local family opticians. How surprised and shocked was I when I met one of the women (who used to work in the opticians) at the school gate. She had recently moved to the area and had children the same age as mine! I really though she was ancient when I was little!! We became good friends.

It's nothing to do with age, it's called being kind, thoughtful and generous.

Maybe the young neighbour would like a dog to walk - a reason for going out. Lots of people have bought animals from shelters just for that reason - I just hope that when they return to work, the poor dogs don't go back to their shelters.

I'm sure it was kindness and should be appreciated.Im on my own ,76 and vulnerable.My next door neighbor does the majority of my shopping and I am very grateful .I haven't baked since my husband died but I now bake every week .75% of my baking goes next door and they are always pleased.10 minutes ago he put 2 bags of S R flour on my doorstep !!

My daughter and a friend on her little road have put those sort of notes through every door NanNanCake.

She has been inside with her family for over 2 weeks and wants to repay the help she has had.

She said she thought some people had hidden needs so they had decided to leaflet everyone.

Meanwhile, a friend's son has texted all his mum's friends (me included) offering help. Given that I have family who could help, really it's not needed but it just is another person I could contact if everything went pear shaped and it was nice of him to bother.

I think you certainly shouldn't be offended.

I am sure that the OP was meant slightly light heartedly because nobody could really be offended by the kindness of such an offer, surely. We've had those sorts of offers from the neighbours, as has the rest of the street. I have verbally offered help to our much younger neighbours if they need it and they have offered in return. I think it's called community spirit.

Surely it was meant in kindness - because whatever our age, others may not know if we have to self isolate for health reasons. I wouldn't be offended (also in my early 50's). We are doing errands for older family members.