How to meet men in real life?

I wouldn't worry. Imagine being in lockdown with someone you don't want to be with all the time. Nightmare. Enjoy your freedom.

I met my last husband (l have been a widow now for over four years) at work, just saying hello in passing for quite some time. I didn't expect to ever meet anyone again, after he died, even though l belong to many groups and clubs. So you can imagine my surprise when l did. My friend and l went to watch a male friend, who has a band, when he played at a local pub. Neither of us is pub goer, so it was unusual. A nice man offered me a chair and checked if l was ok all evening. He was known to my male band friend and asked me out. It took a lot of courage for me to turn up to meet him, but l'm glad l did. We have been seeing each other now for eighteen happy months. Try something, or somewhere different, you just never know. By the way l am 73, and get out many places with my man, as he is a singer with a local rock band. Another surprising turn in life.

I met my no2 at the climbing wall. We have weekly social climbing sessions & at 68 I thought my 'partner' days were over 15mths after sudden death of my husband. I began to recognise a mutual attraction to someone I'd known for 5yrs in the group. Apparently he'd always fancied me! Message is, join an activity you enjoy, mixed of course, with people about your age. It's more likely to happen!

Shared interest groups are great BUT my hospital must be the greatest free pick up place around.
I've been offered everything from going out for a drink right through to spending the winter on one of the Costas at his place. My(female) Dr. always wants feedback whenever she does a referral

Within our local U3A I'm aware that quite a few people have met a "significant other" who has become their partner/spouse.

Thanks again everybody.

I don't put a photo online which may be a factor in not being successful but I have had a few dates as men were interested in me as a person.

I am possibly too guarded, and I'm naturally a quiet person. we have two ears and one mouth- we're designed to listen more than we talk! But these qualities do go against me online.

I am in walking groups, so far there is a 20 year age gap. However, I love walking so I'll carry on for me not to meet anyone.

I have been single for 10+ years now!!

interesting to hear others' wants/needs in a man, but am I the only one who would like a " forever" committed platonic male companion, preferably (after a suitable period of getting to know each other) as a housemate? Does this make me odd? I have a house in London and my on/off partner and I are in lockdown together in it. Usually we are semi-detached, live separately, see each other at weekends and I want to return to this after this virus situation is over ( if ever!) But I really would like the stability and continuity of a permanent companion/housemate who I could rely on and who would be there for me - and vice versa. On/off partner not too good at this! Plus is 15 years older than me which doesn't help matters. Am I being totally over-optimistic and does anyone out there have/want such an arrangement too? And, if so, how did they go about getting it??

Whatever happened to meeting the opposite sex through friends. It seems such a cattle market meeting people online. Just my opinion, feel free to comment

Ineedamum. As you see in the reply’s there is a wide variety in what women want, the important thing is what you want. Obviously socialise with any mixed groups or clubs and get to know any single men, you are more likely to find a match close to home.
Dating sites, you have a lot of competition, so you have to present yourself well, attractive photos and realistic description of what you like. Look at the senior dating sites, don’t bother with men more than 30 miles away any dating will be much more difficult. Spend a couple of weeks chatting online then meet for coffee and take it from there, don’t travel to meet them, if they are keen they will travel to you .

You need quite a thick skin because there are trolls, anything distasteful just block them, the good prospects are widowers because they are more likely to be serious wanting a new partner. Tip, most site you can browse without paying anything, sign on as a man, you will see what the others side says, you will also see how badly many are presented.

I was lucky, hope you are too.

I'd be looking for a new job, or at least a move to a different department!
But would you really want to date someone that you work with anyway? I know someone is going to say "I met my OH at work and we've been married for 50+ years" but that is pretty rare. I have seen too many relationships break up really nastily - and more than one person losing their job as a result.
As others have said, there must be things that you like to do that will have social groups for them.
Whatever you do, please don't go in wearing your "I'm dateless and desperate" t shirt. Look at it as making friends first - the longest lasting relationships I know is because people actually like their OH and are friends as well as lovers.
Lastly, be careful of online agencies - many can be expensive - they advertise that they are free and charge for introductions which can not only be costly but very disappointing - trust me, I know and you really have no idea who you are talking to ! Just watch the programme Catfish on MTV to get an idea of the lengths that some people will go to !

That comment was to GardnerGran.I am still chuckling at the image it conjures.

That made me laugh out loud.Thanks

whywhywhy that's sad.

My DM was widowed young (late 30s) and was often asked why she didn't marry again.

Her reply was that men her age wanted someone ten years younger than themselves, and not someone with 3 DC, and the men who were interested tended to be older widowers looking for someone to care for them in their old age!

She was occasionally lonely but had plenty of friends, family, a career and many interests. She lived by herself until she was 95.

I used to say exactly the same. I wanted to meet a man and a friend of a friend introduced me to my present husband. Honestly, I wish someone had locked my in the cupboard that day! Today, I just cannot stand the sight of him and cannot wait for this virus lockdown to be over and I will be gone! The best word on the planet is FREEDOM and I want mine back! I am not speaking for everyone as I know some very happy couples, or are they? Living with a bloke is just not for me and I wished I had been born a lesbian. Sorry folks but that is how I feel right now. Good luck with your search but I think a puppy would be a better investment. Take care and stay safe and sane. x

I've been married 3 times, met my late DH through friends, love at first sight, completely unexpected, we were together 23 years married for almost 21 years. I miss him but 7 years as a widow I know I couldn't live with some-one again.

I love my own company but also enjoy the company of others, I have a male friend, we had a mutual friend & he saw me on facebook. We messaged each other, progressed to phone calls & last year (almost 3 years after first contact) we met on neutral ground. We hit it off immediately but romance is not on the cards as we live nearly 300 miles apart. We still message each other, speak on the phone most days & hopefully will meet up again when things return to some normality.

I have joined a couple of Meet Up groups, may decide to try U3A & there is an active social scene in my home Town for all ages. I was widowed at 57, I'm now 64. Tried the newspaper dating ads with some success when I was divorced before I met DH & male friend who I met before DH (we met on a train, started chatting, had a relationship long distance), still friends 30+ year later). He also became DH's friend I enjoy male company but have no desire to share a home with one, cat is enough for me. Good luck whatever you choose, for me it's my independence.

gardenergran made me laugh. We have worked together, been retired together and been happily married for ever but I know exactly what you mean. putting it down to isolation!

ineedamum Go for it. I used a site called Ourtime it is for over 50s Rest assured not all men want a younger woman. We are three friends and two and half years ago Chris met a lovely man of 73(not together now) Angela at the same time and the same dating site met Paul, they are still together and he wants to marry her. He is a lovely intelligent man and have mutual interests. Me well joined the same site and met my soulmate three days before my membership ran out. I had only joined for a month, I think it was about £30. We are now living together and very very happy. Yes I did all the join group stuff, rambling group voluntered Meet ups friendship groups. Stay clear of the free site as there has been to many horror stories. Good Luck

Thank you for taking the time to write with your suggestions. You have given me food for thought.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

?A friend sent me this as a suggestion for a dating site ad...
Single man with toilet paper would like to meet single woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun ?

Hi ineedamum, I've sent you a PM

I think actively looking for someone is very hard these days. But I would (once lockdown has been lifted) join some groups where you share an interest. I believe (but haven't experienced) that U3A has people of a certain age with all different interests. I met my soul mate quite by accident. If you're interested, you can read my story on Amazon Kindle, or it's out in paperback next Wednesday. If you look for love, you won't find it. Love finds you, when you least expect it.

Yes I have a dog and it's a great intro - so easy to chat with people. Interesting though that whenever you talk to a man they start putting "we" into the conversation asap. I actually find it quite amusing!!

A widow at work a few years ago told me she had given up because "all the widowers have their wives on a pedestal and all the divorcees want to moan about them!" Have to say I have given up. I was a family solicitor. I have a few male single friends but none that I would ever want to live with. Some of us just try to adjust to a new way of life. If you're no good at DIY then I'd say it's worth cultivating a few of those!!!

My stepma met her second husband through the small ads of The Times. They were very happy.