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How to meet men in real life?

(109 Posts)
ineedamum Sun 12-Apr-20 07:31:52

Hi, this lockdown has made me realise I want to meet a special man.

My hobbies-pre lockdown- few people my age are in.

The past year I have been on two dating websites, one I paid for and very few people used and the other is free which is dreadful. They always ask for photos!

In work (pre lockdown) I have a controlling micronmanger. If I make a joke he says "I make the jokes around here" so speaking to men in different departments and locations would be impossible! The Christmas party you have to sit with your teams.

How can I meet single men in real life?

Grammaretto Sun 12-Apr-20 07:44:33

Long before computer dating and what followed, people met through correspondence and marriage bureaux, sometimes not meeting in the flesh for months!
There must be dating sites for people like you. If not you may need to start one! You could call it the "2 metre virus beater" or not.
Good luck.

sodapop Sun 12-Apr-20 08:07:58

I met my current husband via an advert in the local paper. This was before the days of internet dating.

Good idea Grammaretto.

Missfoodlove Sun 12-Apr-20 08:41:01

Without the use of dating sites it is a case of casting your net, the more you do the more likely you will be to meet someone.

There are walking groups, book clubs, singles holidays, religious groups, gym, pilates, voluntary groups/organisations.

I hope you find someone, it does generally happen when you least expect it though😉.

GagaJo Sun 12-Apr-20 08:51:24

My bloke uses walking groups. There have been several pairings up in the groups. There is also an organisation called Meet Up. It’s online for joining and arranging activities but then is real life outings. I have a friend who uses it and she does loads of fun things. Lots of relationships from that too, as long as you pick mixed sex activities.

Galaxy Sun 12-Apr-20 09:35:06

I think you need a new job rather than a nan, your workplace sounds very difficult.

12Michael Sun 12-Apr-20 09:41:11

Being a male , I have done the expensive route of computer dating , currently use .
Meeting in current crisis is a zero , but lets see if the rules relax in coming weeks so we can get back to some form of normality .
Lets hope things get better .

Thecatshatontgemat Sun 12-Apr-20 12:28:58

I agree with Galaxy.
A new job would be where l would start.
Different people, different place, different area maybe?
Plenty of time to hone you CV to utter perfection, and ready to strike when all this lock down is over.
Failing that, try volunteering perhaps?

Beanie654321 Sun 12-Apr-20 12:31:06

Dear ineedaman many of us married women are wishing the opposite. Xxxx

Aepgirl Sun 12-Apr-20 12:31:42

If lockdown wasn’t a factor at the moment, I would imagine that joining a special interest group would be quite a good way to meet like-minded people.

Soozikinzi Sun 12-Apr-20 12:33:17

My son met his girlfriend on bumble that seems a better than some ? The girl gets to pick and I think there’s silversingles websites ?

Athenia Sun 12-Apr-20 12:34:04

I have been using Guardian Soulmates, picked up on a half price offer for six months. However, so far no success. Have had to block two men for inappropriate approaches. One claimed to be an Oxford trained anaesthetist, retired, but since his reply to my nicely written message was 'Let's have hot sex together, here's my number........' I reported him for misrepresentation! I only write a very few messages to the ones that seem compatible, but have not found anyone yet. Yes I am 71, and live in hope, but there are many men of my age and older on the site. I don't feel it's appropriate to start a friendship with a much younger man, say in his fifties, but would be interested in what others think about that.

Doorstop Sun 12-Apr-20 12:45:41

Beanie654321, I am with you on that. Husband bored and argumentative, plus the 10 year age gap does not help. He is not used to being at home!

Granny23 Sun 12-Apr-20 12:46:44

I can't count the number of members/activists working for my political party, who have met their soulmate there and become a couple. Perhaps it is the shared interest in a cause that gives them mutual interests?

nathan22699 Sun 12-Apr-20 12:51:37

Have noticed since the lockdown situation the police have been saying crime is down,stabbing are down etc,but I have noticed a lot more dog mess is not being collected up by the so called owners of animals.What are these people trying to do?Increase the spread of more germs.Unbelievable.

Welshwife Sun 12-Apr-20 12:53:43

I have no experience of these sites but know younger women in their 50s who do and they say that many men are looking for women up to 20 years younger - they would not dream of dating someone with that age gap and would prefer people of a similar age to themselves.
I agree though that it often happens when you least expect it.

bongobil Sun 12-Apr-20 12:54:47

Good luck with meeting your special man. I wasnt aware any still existed, glad to be single and not on lockdown with a partner lol

razzmatazz Sun 12-Apr-20 12:56:09

The very last thing I want is a man. I just want to please myself and not consider anyone else. I know it's selfish but I had one wonderful man and I don't want to search for another as there isn't one .

Artdecogran Sun 12-Apr-20 12:57:44

I’ve had the best, not looking at the rest!

GardenerGran Sun 12-Apr-20 13:01:45

I’m with Beanie on this one..just the sound of him swallowing his tea is driving me potty at the moment...

GoldenAge Sun 12-Apr-20 13:03:31

Just a thought here - someone I know has been using a dating site and 'met' a seemingly 'nice' man just as lockdown occurred. Whilst she is desperate for the socialising ban to be lifted as they are both keen to meet physically, she realises that the current situation has given them both time to chat on a daily basis and to learn a lot more about each other. She has used these sites before and always rushed into dates that have been anything ranging from big disappointments to mildly enjoyable but nothing to count as having the potential for a relationship that she wants. Now, having had almost a month to chat to someone, not running out of things to say, still being interested, and with the prospect of this lockdown continuing, she feels like this person is much less likely to present her with unwanted surprises when she finally meets him. So why not try a dating site with this idea in mind?

Barmeyoldbat Sun 12-Apr-20 13:03:50

Mr B and I joke that if he was to be dead and gone then to get another man all I would have to do is go cycling in Wales. So many men and hardly any women my age. All very friendly.

Spookwriter23 Sun 12-Apr-20 13:07:53

I joined yours dating, but to get the messages I had to pay £104 95 which was for six MTHS, but because of isolation I have until next march, I also joined plenty of fish I get messages for free

DotMH1901 Sun 12-Apr-20 13:08:12

I tried a couple of sites but and had a couple of first meetings but one man spent the whole time telling how awful it had been for him since his wife divorced him after she discovered he was having an affair whilst she was being treated for cancer, another complained about women misrepresenting the age and a third clearly hadn't read my profile as I had clearly stated I couldn't just drop everything at a whim as I look after my grandchildren, and he was then annoyed because I said I would need to schedule weekends away etc because I had commitments. I more or less gave up after that. I am a volunteer with a local charity but the male volunteers are either all happily partnered already or not in my age group. Same thing happened in the office I worked in. I was widowed 22 years ago this year, I don't think there is another person out there for me.

Spookwriter23 Sun 12-Apr-20 13:08:53

But they seem to want younger women than me (67)