Best way to react?

Keep a complete audit trail of your verbal and written interaction with him.
The next time you feel he is controlling you in an unacceptable way and remember that this person is your manager and has a right to 'manage' you, tell him your take on the situation, how he makes you feel and ask why he is doing that.
Give him a week to respond by changing his behaviour towards you.
If there is no improvement, take the audit trail to your HR department and say you wish to make a complaint and want the matter investigated.
If you are in a unionised environment, get the support of your union official.

Join a union

Seriously it's not worth risking your health over it. People pick up on others who are shy, quiet not assertive and deliberately pick on them. I later got a job where I was respected, appreciated and valued and was sorry to leave when I retired.

Speaking from experience sounds like my experiences years ago constant criticism and failures to explain where I was going wrong I went higher up the chain going right to the top of the organisation. However he was ex military used to being obeyed and he used this attitude with directors and main boss who was female and wouldn't or couldn't stand up to him I was left with no option but to leave and find another job and heard 6 months later the main boss had resigned and he took over from her so I can empathise with your situation.

I highly recommend: www.amazon.co.uk/Bully-Sight-challenge-workplace-Overcoming/dp/0952912104?tag=gransnetforum-21 This helped me enormously to win a grievance against a (male) manager in the Civil Service who co-incidentally reminded me of my father and who also abused other members of staff. I was not in his team but he managed me when I was 'on duty' My professional association also helped keep me focussed on my own issues during the grievance procedures following a shocking incident of management failure which I was able to evidence clearly.

For many many months I had a bullying controlling boss so bad I considered taking my own life. Until I decided to take control. I not only saved my work/emails etc. on my work PC I also emailed everything to my personal email address where she couldn’t access. I also added blind information in the footer on PC work showing date created and initials. This was because emails delivered and read were deleted and I was accused of not sending them. Documents were deleted from shared drive and I was accused of not completing work. I eventually went of sick due to depression and whilst I was off every email sent to her was deleted from my inbox. It was the worst time. She later got promoted to director status and was no longer my boss and I got another rather controlling boss but not as bad she is also very very ambitious but one day I took very ill in the office the paramedics took my BP and it was 221 over 100+ I was off for several weeks and when I came back to work
Things dramatically changed for the better.

Keep copies of everything that you do on a pen drive that you take home. Send a blind copy (BCC) to your personal email account of every email that you send at work, and forward the replies to personal email account. You may need these to prove what is going on.
Find out if he does the same behaviour to anyone else. get together if you can and go over his head (to his line manager) and put in a formal complaint.
Good luck. I would be looking for another job.

Have you had counselling re your relationship with your father? It might help you to understand the trigger points with your boss and give you a coping mechanism. And definitely copy your work, sign and date it. And send as a pdf not as doc text.

One thing I wondered about is that if other people had complained about him, why hasn't something been done? Or was it all just a moan between work colleagues?
Firstly, if you are given a task to do, stick to it ! Doesn't matter if you think there is a better way to do it, unless you are asked for an opinion, don't say it! In the mean time, you seriously will be better either asking for a move to another department ( if there is one) or look for a different job - you will never be happy working for this man and I very much doubt if he will change what he does. It's a fact that some people will do and expect jobs to be done a certain way and if you step out of the box, it is not appreciated.

Ineedamum I've been in your position during my working life only the boss was female. Unfortunately the only solution in end was to find another job. Good luck.

Thanks everybody.

I know I haven't gone into the full details of what my manager is like, until I leave he won't change, so I'm focusing on me. Every person who deals with him has the same issue but I am more anxious due to my past.

Someone mentioned there is a transactions ego theory, in other words we are in three states, a parent, child and adult.
Our states can change as appropriate but he always acts in a parent state.

For example, I work better when he isnt there. My heart sinks when he is in the room- not a professional response, so how can I act the same regardless of whether he is there or not if that makes sense?

Yes of course there are bosses like this, I believe op completely. I dont think he sounds firm I think he sounds inappropriate, my point bring it's not something she has to put up with, there are numerous bosses who dont behave like this.

I (unfortunately) supervised somebody who 'had initiative' (in her own words).
What I really wanted, and needed, was someone who could reliably follow instructions and stick to the duties in her job description.

If she'd just done her job well, I'd have encouraged her ideas and 'initiative', but no, she rushed things, made mistakes, didn't check for accuracy, then went off on her own tangent.

An employee like that is more of a liability than a help!

The '..and? was to Galaxy

...and?
Does that mean no other managers/bosses ever act as the OP alleges?
Some people, bosses, male and female (and everyone in between) lock into or hone in on frailties or vibes given out unknowingly by their staff.
Some use it to their advantage and make the staff member their whipping boy.
This could be for any of a multitude of reasons.
It has to be considered, as a matter of fairness, that the OP unwittingly invites this behaviour by doing things which are not in her remit but which she thinks will earn her a modicum of praise or recognition, a favourable attention she does not receive from her father.
I feel heartily sorry for this lady and wish I could alter her unhappy state.
It must be truly dreadful to see in your boss, daily, a reflection of your father who trashes her ego into the ground, especially as she has no idea how to end this catch 22 situation. Her father is at home and in her workplace.
I can only reiterate my original advice. Leave home and change job. Not terribly easy to do both at the same time but changing job comes first, then you can find accomodation according to your income.
I wish her the very best in life but do not compromise on personal happiness.
As Liam Gallagher sings, 'You only get to do it Once'. ?

I worked for my local police force for over 30 years and EVERY male boss I had behaved this way.
Actually, they would usually change the name on the work to their own and take the credit for it!

I soon learned to password protect my work and circulate it to others at the same time so they couldn't take the credit.
(never had the problem with female bosses).

OP you need to learn to be more devious and play him at his own game - or move to a job the suits you better.

I have had numerous males bosses none have behaved in this way.

I disagree with the line ' It's unfortunate that's how you feel' and this is why.
The word 'unfortunate' has a supercilious tone to it when talking to a superior in the workplace. It's ok to say it in this context 'Unfortunately, I cannot work later than 5pm...blah blah' but not in the context of you saying it's unfortunate that he feels XYZ way.
It's tantamount to telling him that it's his lookout and his fault...hard to describe but it's not a phrase I would use in the OPs situation.

The only workable solution is to find another job.
The OPs treatment by her father will always colour her relationships with male bosses who are firm in their handling of staff.
She has admitted her father's attitude to her is the trigger for any perceived friction between her and her manager at work.
The only definitive solution is to leave home and find a new job.

It’s the Cinderella complex, you feel like a child and want to please.

It’s not easy and I do believe these people can sniff out a “victim”.

The secret is not to be a victim!

Always communicate via email, thereby creating a paper trail.

Never apologise, you can say “ it’s unfortunate that’s how you feel or simply ask what his preferred method would be but......Never fall into the trap of using a victims language.
“ I’m so sorry” “ It won’t happen again”

If you feel pushed. in a corner take a deep breath and say” I’ve taken on board what you have said, I now need time to digest it”
Don’t feel you have to respond immediately.

Good luck.

I agree with Gabriella. Ask him what was wrong with the work that you'd done, that he subsequently deleted, so you you'll 'know' for next time.

What is wrong with you people? That's why everyone's so backbiting and in power struggles. You can be professional and open to hearing someone ideas, it's called having listening skills, it's done actively, you don't have to be passive. Does the OP enjoy their job? It depends on that really.

Thanks everybody. It isn't personal as he has a reputation for being unpleasant and it was alluded other people have made complaints.

I am keeping notes, have spoken to him informally and may take it further.

However, I find it embarrassing that he gets to me so much. He is very similar to my father and I do believe it is a trigger. I was always criticised, controlled , never respected etc and I find in work I walk on eggshells.

How can I stop feeling like a child in work?

never tell someone you are having difficulties with that you are struggling.
just be business-like. go to speak to him with a jotter and pen, as if to note down his pearls of wisdom. but never bite the pen.
you need only write down the date and time of the meeting, but it looks as if you are acting logically, and also gives you something to distract any nerves you may have.
play the part. look serious, reasonable, open to ideas.
ask if he could explain what the problem was with that piece of work. hope you kept a copy.
in what way is he bullying. can you explain the situation more.
if you admit you are struggling you give people power over you. only do that if absolutely desperate, or if you trust the person completely. be very wary in a workplace. keep schtum.

Start looking for another job. Not easy I know but the satisfaction of telling him you are leaving for a better job where you are respected and valued!

as he doesn't like it when I show initiative

What you see as initiative, he may see as you being pushy and stepping into areas where he has responsibility. I'm not saying this is the case, only that it could be, and that would 'explain' his disliking something you've done.

If that is so, he should tell you where he does not want you to "show initiative" rather than just destroying your work.

Good luck sorting it out. Other posters have made good suggestions.