Soop's kitchen refuge for the sharing of...

It’s so difficult to offer words of comfort in this awful situation.
Suggestions of hospice care are good ones but possibly your son has looked into this and it isn’t possible where you are. Alternatively could the grandchildren have some respite time with you? I’m not sure if they’re at/will be going to school. I don’t know how far away from the family you live. Is there already someone coming into the home to help? If not could that be arranged.?
Please come back and tell us you’ve had a word with your son
and hopefully something can be arranged to make his, and
especially the children’s lives easier. My heart goes out to you.

morethan I am in tears reading your post and it must be so hard for you and your family to be living with this daily. I do hope a hospice place can be found asap so that your son and grandchildren can be with your DiL without the need to be doing so much care and the children witnessing everything. Is it that your son doesn't want a hospice involved or there isnt a place for her? You are being such a supportive mum and grandmother and it must be much harder with all the virus problems too. My heart goes out to you.

Dear Morethan we each of us would like nothing more than to be of help and support to you. Sadly our suggestions are probably not new and you will know all too well that little can change.
However we are here to listen, offer what little comfort we can and to be a shoulder to lean on or to cry on whenever you need us.
What you are doing is simply wonderful and one day in years to come perhaps some of the pain will have eased enough for the family to remember some of the better times and realise and cherish the love you are bringing them.

Good post, maw!

morethan my heart aches for you and your dear family.
What pain and sorrow for you all.
I like others, weep when reading what your daughter in law, son and your young grandchildren are having endure.

I wish I could put arms around you.

Thank you to you all for your kind words. I am in a lot less pain now but 3 of the medications cannot just be stopped and have to be slowly reduced. I rang palliative care yesterday but neither the doctor or my assigned nurse were available so will have to wait until Tuesday to discuss it with them.
It must be very hard to not be able to see family and friends yet dragonfly especially when others can now meet up. My long awaited meet with my DS and DDiL yesterday didnt happen in the end as the temperature has been so high that my DH and I had hardly any sleep on Thursday night and we were exhausted. Plus it was going to be in the 30s again yesterday so better to stay at home. Today the temperatures have dropped to the upper 20s so much better
This morning I went to the hospital for my first COVID19 test. It was just unpleasant and not really painful as I had been told by another patient. I queried why I now had 3 appointments and apparently I will continue to have them so many days after each appointment at the hospital. ???
Our dog Archie was limping a little on Thursday and rather quiet which I put down to the heat. When I touched his paw or leg he didnt pull away or make a fuss but DH devided he should go to the vet so off we went. Here you dont usually have to make an appointment you just go and wait your turn which is what he did. But when the vet came out she said he would have to.make an appointment and she was fully booked. Anyway he took him yesterday evening and the vet couldnt see anything but gave some anti inflammatory tablets and she will look again when they go for their baths and haircuts on Monday. That's Archie and Dotty not DH ;)
DH has upset me a bit this evening. I was arranging to see my DS on Tuesday as we couldnt see them yesterday and he thought I was in too much of a rush to go. ???? He forgets that since mid February I have either been at home or visiting the hospital for treatment. He at least goes shopping. But he said I can take that over when he knows I cant go anyway

daisyboots so sorry you didn’t get your meet up. That must have been very disappointing. Hope you get to see the family soon. Hope it is nothing serious with your dog.

morethan I cannot add anything that hasn’t already been said by others. My heart breaks for all of you especially those little children. Please never be afraid to post on here for fear of upsetting someone or for saying it like it is. We are made of stern stuff here and you can always post and say whatever you like. You, and your family are, and have been, in my prayers. I hope this suffering ends soon and your poor DIL and family get some peace. ?

Morethan you and your family are often in my thoughts and I am so sad for you all. I only wish there was more I could do than send good wishes.

Good morning. I return to hear about things via my friend KAte and the angst and desperation of your family morethan.

I do not know what input the family have but please pm me if I can be of any help. I have experience og the hospice movement and community care. I do not know which area geographically so cannot comment. In the mean time we send an enveloping cloak of love and support for you all.

Sadness of a different sort in the Shire as idiots with disposable BBQ's/campers have started two moorland fires in an area beloved by us and many others We lived at one time next to the first fire. To compound matters idiots are flocking to the area and in some cases even parking over fire hydrants and blocking access to fire crews.

Thank you for your post, Maw.

Daisyboots I can feel your disappointment. You have been through an extremely stressful time recently. You deserve to have the opportunity to enjoy some time, no matter how brief, with your son. I'm sure that your husband means well but...

Thank you to all of our Granspals who continue to do whatever they can to comfort morethan.

Izabella Sometimes I fear for humankind. Common sense seems to have evaporated into the ether. When I saw the rubbish left on the beach at Scarborough, I burst into tears of frustration and anger.

Morethan, I'm not able to add anything as others have said it all, but I'm thinking of you and your family who are suffering so much.

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202005/medium-559108-ted-in-forest.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202005/medium-744065-101594426-10156968629246022-545633328183640064-n1.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202005/medium-898345-101281809-10158652697546654-1218615477530525696-n1.jpg

Photos of Ted and Torben...

You’re photos have raised a welcome smile during a sad day here soop. Our friend and neighbour is now receiving palliative care, covid active treatment was too much for her body. Heavily sedated she appears to be sleeping. I am so sad for her family who aren’t allowed to be with her. Hospital protocol says one person can be there. Three daughters means two can’t see their Mum. It has to be the same person visit, they can’t swap around. Huge pressure for them all. I’m sure reasoning is sound but it feels inhumane and I know is being played out the length and breadth of the country. I’ve just had a quiet half an hour sitting brushing the cat. She’s long haired and was in a right pickle. She lay there purring as I gently brushed. It will sound daft but it was good to be able to do a small thing to help.

Otherwise a reasonable day here. There’s a breeze tempering the heat, 27 degrees seems a bit much. The garden looks both attractive and unusually tidy. The climbing rose is a joy. I’ll try to share it with you. I’m off to sit out with a book. TOYA.

corner I’m so sorry for your friend and her family. To have to choose who visits must be so hard. It is indeed a sad time. The rose is a beauty.
soop young Torben is now a very handsome chap and little Teddy too. Lovely photos
TOYA?

Thanks for sharing those -gorgeous- pictures soop.
Corner, it looks as though thst is a seating area and I wonder if that’s where you’re reading your book. It looks very colourful. I’ve just come indoors from my garden read - Kate Atkinson’s latest, which I’m only partly enjoying. Happy (where possible) afternoon everyone.

corner Your garden is beautiful. A wee corner of paradise beneath the bower of roses. A virtual tender hug of comfort for you during this extremely distressing time. If your friend is sleeping, then she may slip away peacefully. Not being able to have family visit is so cruel. My ex-husband's funeral is on Tuesday next. We have the opportunity to virtually attend the funeral.

Doodle and Bellanonna...it is almost too warm to sit outside. We will try sitting in the shade during our afternoon tea break. Last night, we had the windows open and the fan operating.

Morethan, I wish I could find some words that would help you and yours. But your post was so moving, so agonising that words are just not enough. Nobody should have to face the situation you describe. I send you my love and my thoughts, but nothing is good enough. (((hugs)))

soop OMG is it just me? I had a shower before bed last night and when in bed with my 15 tog duvet I wondered if I needed a hot water bottle. I keep my windows closed at night because I do not want Tara doing a high wire act. Perhaps it is just as well I am on my own these days.

There is a cooling breeze here- my washing, all dry is indoors.

corner that cat will "know" before you when your neighbour dies. I do not know how but she will. Who is going to take care of her long term because I remember you saying that Mr C has an allergy to cats so moving next door is a non-starter.

I think only allowing one daughter to visit is bordering on mental cruelty. The other two probably were not around, living a distance away, to say goodbye to their mother.

It is rather sad on here at present.

Doodle I hope you are looking after Dexter if he is awake long enough to care.
TOYA

Sad news Cornergran - life is so hard isn’t it?
I miss him dreadfully but am so glad that Paw did not have to go through this, he would surely never have survived it and to be alone from ones family at the end is just awful.

Yes, indeed, it is an extremely sad kitchen however we will continue to all pull together and try our best to offer what comfort we can to all those of our Granspals in need.

Also, those of you with uplifting news and such...please do continue to share your pleasures.

It is blisteringly hot. We managed twenty minutes outside. There was a time, many years ago, when I would sunbathe for hours on end. At that time, I had no idea that the sun could do serious damage to the skin. We live and learn.

I shall log off until tomorrow. I fully intend joining you lovely lot in our kitchen tomorrow.

Kind thoughts and for you all.

Hi all in this lovely warm kitchen.

Thank you to everyone for the lovely photos.

These are mad times and yesterday I heard that my best friend from infant/primary/secondary school is in fact really ill. We had lost touch for a number of years and got back together back in 2007. She has had MS since her late 20s and has battled on without a moan. Her husband is her carer and he was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer last December. Long story which i will tell you about one day. I phoned yesterday to see how she is and not good and he is on the up after a long operation to remove part of the oesophagus and somehow move his stomach. I spoke to her DH and he said that he thought that he had lost her last friday. I cannot stop crying as she was so beautiful, lively, lovely, friendly and gorgeous. I so regret the years that we spent apart but they were due to us living 250 miles apart and the brute of a husband that I WAS married to back then.

Thoughts to all of you suffering and maybe a drink or two tonight to wish them all well again.

Post

I’ve noticed that like me, quite a few of our long-standing kitcheners haven’t been posting recently. I haven’t visited the kitchen as often either. I’m not sure why that is. But I had been thinking a lot about morethan and her DIL so I was so very sad to read her latest post. There truly are no words to express our sympathy and support. And morethan, there is nothing that we can say or do to help, except to let you know we care.

This wretched virus has robbed so many of us of so much, and made difficult situations very much worse. For newbies, I should say that DH was diagnosed with motor neurone disease 13 months ago, and his condition is worsening quite rapidly. And at the very time when I would have started to consider how much longer I can manage on my own, we are suddenly in a world where we are afraid to ask for much needed help and support. To be honest, I am more afraid of catching the virus myself, as the stress of coping with DH as well as the house and garden must surely mean my immune system is at rock bottom! And if I were ill, what would happen to DH?

I know how lucky I am, as I have such a brilliant DD, who brings shopping every week and phones every day. And both our neighbours are helpful and supportive as well. And I’m thankful to have a garden, which is where I am sitting now, enjoying the birds and sipping a glass of wine! I’m just sorry that I can’t bring DH outside with me.

Quite by chance I saw a quotation today which expresses how I am feeling.
“Courage isn't having the strength to go on - it is going on when you don't have strength.” My mother was a tiny person but with incredible mental strength (as was her mother!), so when I falter, I say to myself that I am from a long line of strong women! And that helps.

I know that many of you have health worries, and concerns about your families and friends, so rather than mentioning some, and missing out others, I will just say TOYA. But especially thinking of morethan and her family.

morethan - I can't add to the comments of others. Except to say that you have a wonderful son, DiL and grandchildren.