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They usually are, aren't they? ?

(74 Posts)
phoenix Tue 05-May-20 12:58:37

Squids, usually are damp, well in my limited experience. Wouldn't be good for them to be dry, surely?

kircubbin2000 Wed 06-May-20 18:37:31

Husbands pal died of a connery.

kircubbin2000 Wed 06-May-20 18:29:03

Friend said her hay fever was exasperated.

merlotgran Wed 06-May-20 17:49:16

I had a teaching colleague who was getting flustered trying to deal with a difficult yr 10 boy.

Trying to make him realise his behaviour was not going to be tolerated she finished up with, 'And you needn't think I'm going to beat myself around the bush about it!'

He was shocked into silence. grin

Callistemon Wed 06-May-20 15:33:32

Typhoid tea
menstrual cyclone
grin

I need to prune myself especially my legs.

All these are very funny.

seacliff Wed 06-May-20 14:29:16

These are all so funny

pollyperkins Wed 06-May-20 14:16:43

My grandmother often used malapropisms. She drank Typhoid tea (sounds a bit risky) and when shed been cooking she pointed out the condescension on the windows.

GrannyLaine Wed 06-May-20 13:58:19

Oh dear, I don't like the idea of a menstrual cyclone!

SuzannahM Wed 06-May-20 13:50:03

@DanniRae - how I managed to keep a straight face I don't know, especially when my OH caught my eye.

As she was talking I had an image in my head of her neighbour sitting in front of the mirror lopping off bits of finger or shortening her arms grin

seacliff Wed 06-May-20 13:43:03

Well said, GrannyLaine and Callistemon.

Daddima Wed 06-May-20 13:30:51

I am recently bereaved, but I’m not at all upset by lighthearted posts about husbands’ shortcomings!
I confess, before the Bodach died, it never occurred to me that a bit of a giggle at his expense could upset anybody.

Anyway, back to the ‘damp squids’; the wee auntie of the ‘ dolphin nose’ potatoes said we needed a ‘ nuclear detergent’, used ‘ Muslim nappies’, and had an irregular ‘ menstrual cyclone’.

DanniRae Wed 06-May-20 11:36:48

Callistemon - Very well put.

Callistemon Wed 06-May-20 10:51:06

It must be difficult for anyone recently bereaved, particularly at the present time when we're confined to our homes.

However, it is difficult to avoid the subject of family including OHs on a social media site designed in the main for grandparents.
It is easier for an individual to avoid those threads which they could find upsetting for whatever reason.

We need some lighthearted threads to lighten the gloom and there's never anything malicious in the few threads which phoenix starts; indeed we can all see the love for her DH shining through.

GrannyLaine Wed 06-May-20 09:50:40

annsixty when I used the term waspish I wasn't specifically referring to you, but there has certainly been a snappy air about GN recently. I take your point about the recently bereaved but I have always believed that humour gets us through the hardest of situations. It most assuredly did when was going through it.
phoenix has a naturally funny writing style and pokes fun at herself more often than she does at Mr P. It is quite clear to me that they have a long and happy relationship. I don't think it matters whether people start one thread or many, as long as we all just keep on shoring each other up in these strange times.

DanniRae Wed 06-May-20 09:33:38

That sounds painful Suzannah!! shock

SuzannahM Wed 06-May-20 08:47:07

My MIL was giving us the lowdown on a neighbour she didn't like.

The worst thing the neighbour did as far as I could work out was to leave her bedroom curtains open when the light was on "and she sits there pruning herself in the mirror for all to see"

Maggiemaybe Wed 06-May-20 08:40:13

My friend’s mother once announced to the crowded village post office that her daughter had that HIV.

She’d been given HRT.

Gingster Wed 06-May-20 07:49:13

Slightly askew. I was offered a job and asked to bring in ‘ damp tea towels ‘ . After ruminating about this for several hours, I realised they wanted ‘bank details’ ?

H1954 Wed 06-May-20 07:31:17

My aunt used to say she was applying for a " mort gauge " rather than a mortgage- with a silent 't'. If her husband was being particularly unhelpful it was "a phrase he was going though"

annsixty Wed 06-May-20 07:25:40

I was that poster and I am normally the least waspish and crabby person in the world.

I didnt say too many ,I just said many.

I will not apologize or justify and shall be happy to leave GN in a heartbeat but as I was only saying what I thought ,which we are reminded on a daily basis is everyones right, I will think about that.

There are many on Gn recently bereaved, some just weeks ago, perhaps it would be kind occasionally to consider them before airing our silly grievances about our spouses.

grandMattie Wed 06-May-20 06:50:53

Love those.
A dear friend used to wear a straw hat he called a Panorama.
And vouchers are always called vultures in our house.

Glorybee Wed 06-May-20 06:29:53

Yes indeed, come back phoenix! Don’t let one crabby remark determine how you are on here, most people get your ‘gist’ and enjoy the threads ?

farview Wed 06-May-20 06:21:40

pheonix your threads make people happy ..we need that.. carry on with your tales...?

FarNorth Tue 05-May-20 23:42:28

confused
Too many threads??

Well that would be a post about a poster and their threads - so they're the one that should be out!

GabriellaG54 Tue 05-May-20 23:30:09

One out all out. Get your marching boots on girls...

GrannyLaine Tue 05-May-20 22:58:51

phoenix get back here immediately.
Better to light a few small candles than to curse the darkness. Some very waspish folk around at the moment IMO