They usually are, aren't they? ?

???????

I think it is damp squib, a firework!

Correct, shysal, but someone on the radio definitely referred to a damp squid!

Ignorance abounds.
Prob too young to know about damp squiBs.

I’m so pleased you brought that up, Phoenix. It’s something I’ve always wondered about.

Don't think so Gabriella pretty sure it was a either a mature student, or the mother of someone at university.

Funny how often phrases get misused!

A friend keeps saying that she's been furlonged

A friend of mine sais her husband has been furloffed

said

Another one is "scotch free"

So you got away with it sober, then?

Ah, SalsaQueen the old "ough" pronunciation thing!

Try this:

"The farmer with the cough, drove his plough through the trough" !

That’s quite enough, though!

My niece often says she’s balled her eyes out at a soppy film or book. I have visions of ping pong balls running riot in her house!

My aunt loved ‘ dolphin nose’ potatoes.

Oh Daddima that's a classic!

I liked Mrs Malaprop!!
Can't be rivalled
My MIL used them a lot, as well as Spoonerisms.

Is it “off your own bat”: or “off your own back”?

I have a friend who could mangle words for Britain!

Talking about relationships, she declared that she believed in mahogany (and presumably other hard woods) didn't like her new glasses as they made her look like Dave Haemorrhage until I realised she meant Dame Edna Everage! and saw a house she loved because it had such Panasonic views.

Oh yes Callistemon Spoonerisms!

Many years ago I had a friend who worked for British Gas in the customer service department, dealing with enquiries from people who were expecting visits from engineers.

She managed 2 within one conversation, I will put what she meant to say, and leave it to you to work out what she actually said!

"Oh, yes Mrs Jones, I can see that you job is listed on the fitters sheet for today, he will be round to fit your parts this morning"

Did she ever realise?
My MIL didn't!

Yes, she did on that occasion! She told us about it, blushing but giggling at the same time!

Lucca I've never been quite sure about that one myself

When I had a job in a chemist shop a woman came in and asked for ‘Some of that cyanide toothpaste for my husband.’ After I gawped at her I realised she wasn’t planning on murder, she just wanted Sensodyne.

Suedonim I heard of a woman saying she felt much better now that she was on that courtesan treatment!