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Were you encouraged and inspired at school ? Home?

(103 Posts)
silverlining48 Thu 07-May-20 15:36:34

Just that really. I left school in 1963. My school took the view we would leave at 15 or could perhaps ‘ stay on’ til 16. Employment would be either office, shop, or factory. I had no careers advice.p and no one asked about my interests and aptitude or if I had a preference. I didn’t think there was an option and never ever questioned this.

What was your experience?

AGAA4 Thu 07-May-20 15:44:25

I left the same year and much the same experience. We had a careers advice afternoon, which was useless. I ended up working in a bank which I hated.
I wanted to be a nurse but was discouraged by my parents as they thought it wasn't right for me as I had asthma.
When my daughter told me she wanted to nurse I gave her all the encouragement I could to do what she wanted and is now a nurse.

SueDonim Thu 07-May-20 15:46:19

Not by school. I went to a grammar school but was very middle-of-the-road, I didn’t shine at anything. No one paid me any particular attention. Career options were basically teacher, nurse, secretary. In the event I did well in exams and I was told ‘could be university material’. hmm Too late, I’d decided on another path by then.

oscaro11 Thu 07-May-20 15:52:55

Went to grammar school, only one in my huge extended family to do so, left at 16 as I was expected to go to work to help support the family and into office work. Hated every minute of it. So, after a series of dead end boring jobs I put myself through university at the age of 40, part time, and eventually found the right path for me after a few twists and turns along the way. Grammar school opened my eyes to the way other people lived and I am always grateful I went to one, otherwise I’d have just plodded on the same as the rest of my family.

Alishka Thu 07-May-20 16:13:22

hmm,girlsgrammar school first,then (off my own bat) applied to art college to do textile design.Got accepted but my dad vetoed it. Thought I'd only applied cos there were (shock horror!) boys there.
So I went into an office(where, btw, there were boys) quietly saved up my money and eventually left home - and England.
And that was the beginning of the rest of my life.

tanith Thu 07-May-20 16:23:20

silverlining48 I could of written you post same year same age. My Mum took me to apply for a job in C & A the week after I left school I was expected to contribute and like you I was given no advice at school or encouraged to stay on, one day I had friends at school and a week later I was working I don’t think I ever saw my friends again. In fact I loved that job and left at 20 as I was married and pregnant, I do regret not having a career at a young age but my life turned out Okish.

HAZBEEN Thu 07-May-20 16:23:39

My Dad thought a girl getting an education was a waste of time! She would get married have kids and her husband would keep her! Well I left school at 15, got married at 18 to a complete useless b*****d, had my daughter, got divorced then set about studying and getting qualifications ending up as an adult vocational trainer. It took over 30 years for my Dad to say he was proud of what I achieved.

Judy54 Thu 07-May-20 16:34:20

Not at school but definitely at home, my Parents taught me to read and write before I went to school and I have had a lifelong love of books. I helped my Dad in the garden growing fruit and vegetables and Mum taught me to cook. No career advice at school nor any interest shown in my future prospects, probably a sign of the times.

ninathenana Thu 07-May-20 17:14:11

The same silverlining

I remember a 10 min meeting with a careers officer but have no idea what I told her at the time. My parents never asked about homework or showed interest in my school work.

I have always loved animals and I now know that I would have loved to be a vet nurse.
I was never allowed a pet as a child so I didn't even know such a career existed. I did manage to end up working for a vet as the equivalent of an auxiliary nurse but not till my mid 20s.

Luckygirl Thu 07-May-20 17:21:59

I HATED school with a passion. I went to grammar school, and was one of a small group in my year who were pushed on to do all their O and A levels a year early. This meant I missed out on some of the "softer" subjects that I might have enjoyed. It also meant that I went up to university when I was not mature enough to appreciate it.

And, being a generally rather stroppy child I hated the rules, especially the ones about length of skirts! I also could not bear PE - I have had balance problems all my life - hence the litany of broken bones. However, I learned imagination in bucketloads in my ruses to avoid PE lessons - how many times can one grandma die!!?? grin

Sar53 Thu 07-May-20 17:29:33

I went to a fairly famous all girls grammar school in 1964.
At my junior school I was top of the class, very bright, did very well in the 11+. At my grammar school there were lots of very clever girls, a lot of them from quite wealthy homes, I came from a council house, and I really struggled. I don't remember any careers information, the school expected the majority to go on to university . I ended up doing a secretarial course and left school at 18 to work in an office.
I do regret not doing better at school and I think I would have made a good nurse but no one ever even suggested it to me.

Grandma70s Thu 07-May-20 17:40:31

I was very much encouraged both at school and at home. I went to a selective independent school, all girls and very academic. I left in 1959 for university. It was rather assumed that everyone aimed at university or, failing that, teacher training. Most girls stayed until 18, but a few didn’t and went straight into jobs of various sorts. I did two degrees and finally left full-time education at the age of 24! I had a scholarship for postgraduate study, which allowed me to live reasonably comfortably in subsidised accommodation.

My parents both had degrees, so it was considered normal in my family, and there was certainly no idea that my brother’s education was more important than mine. He went to the equivalent boys’ school. We were treated exactly the same.

craftyone Thu 07-May-20 17:44:46

Born 1948 eldest of 7, very poor, aspirational parents and very good teachers and local library. We all became professionals and have done very well. We loved school but careers advice was not good, however we made it

FlexibleFriend Thu 07-May-20 17:53:07

School thought I was a lost cause, too much of a rebel for Grammar school and not what they were used to. They suggested I work in a bank so I applied to several and had multiple job offers which I declined. I was always encouraged at home but my parents died when I was young, 14 when mum died after being ill for two years and 16 when my dad died. I decided to leave school at 16 when I knew my dad was ill and wanted a say in my future. I found myself a job and became very good at it. By the time my dad died later that year I was in demand in my job and doing very well. I took on a second job to gain independence and avoided care as I could afford to support myself financially. I became fully independent and self supporting at 16 and never looked back. My parents had prepared me well for life without them.

Luckylegs Thu 07-May-20 17:55:49

I’m another one who left school at 15 in 1963, no question of me staying on but I went to college for secretarial skills full time for one year and night school for the following 3/4 years whilst I got a secretarial job which was at 17/18 secretary to a Consultant Pathologist. I always held secretarial jobs to Managing Directors, Professors, always top class jobs.

I don’t remember my parents (loving as they were) ever going to a parents evening, ever asking about homework etc and university was never even mentioned. I never knew anyone who been to University until I worked in one!

Lucca Thu 07-May-20 18:00:52

The only thing I could do well was languages. The careers advice was to “do something in the Common Market”
Something that is definitely better now in education is that the ethos is to praise and encourage.

tidyskatemum Thu 07-May-20 18:02:33

My grandfathers were both miners; the next generation got to grammar school and all became teachers so it was taken for granted that education was the priority for us. I must have been an exceptionally well behaved child as my uncle taught at my school and if I ever got into trouble I got it in the neck 3 times - from my teacher, from him and from my parents when he snitched on me!

Anniebach Thu 07-May-20 18:03:07

My first job was in a sub post office, my father was in hospital
when I applied , had the interview and was offered the job.

When he came home he went to speak/interview the sub poster master, so embarrassing.

TerriBull Thu 07-May-20 18:18:47

I don't think I got too much inspiration at either of my schools, both being catholic, probably they inspired me in the inevitability of becoming a lapsed catholic. At my convent school the nuns inspired me never to become a nun!

My parents kind of inspired me and uninspired me in equal measures. They again inspired me not to overdo the religion bit hmm I had it from every which way when I was growing up, home and school sad However, on the positive they certainly inspired me to read, we had loads of books in the house, I was frequently taken to the library and got wonderful books for birthdays and Christmas. We always seemed to be going up to London I remember being taken to the theatre, ballet, cinema, Italian restaurants and museums, not that we were rich or anything, we lived about half an hour away in travel from the capital. I think my parents both made the most of London when they were growing up as they actually both lived at the epicentre until early teens, when my grandparents got enough money together to buy their respective houses out in the burbs. They definitely thought the capital was something we as children should experience too. I thought everybody did theatre trips as children, I was to find out as I was growing up they didn't, although my dad got tickets for such events at the expense of necessities like school shoes that needed to be replaced, my dad was definitely a bit weird in some respects. shock I knew that, because my mother's aunts indiscreetly complained about the inappropriateness of his spending prioritising "nonsense" as they described our cultural outings over necessities. I imagine they thought such murmurings went over my head, but they didn't, I took it all in. My parents were both only half English and I was to find out that the immigrant sides of the family from various parts of Europe settled in London so thus I was imbued with the fact that it was not only one of the world's greatest cities, but also a place of opportunity. I think I really started to appreciate it as a place when I hit my teens in the '60s because at that time it felt like the centre of the universe. My parents both had an appreciation of other cultures through food and history. My dad always told me when I was growing up "the English only have one good meal, roast beef, and they still manage to ruin that by overcooking the meat". He was a complete Francophile, he spoke quite a bit of French and France was his utopia, we had and have quite a lot of extended family there. My mother spoke some German, she spent many years learning it right up until she died, she was an inspiration to me in that she always kept her mind active. well into old age. Once we were off hand, my parents went everywhere, all over the States and Europe, it's what they spent their money on, although at the expense of buying things like better furniture for the house, which my mother did complain about. They definitely inspired me to travel though and I count myself lucky that I've been to some of the very far flung places I've always wanted to got to.

Namsnanny Thu 07-May-20 18:32:40

No encouragement from school, which seemed decidedly lukewarm towards anyone, unless they stood out from either end of the scale.

Discouraged from further education. The largest pay packet on offer was all my family was concerned about, and how soon I earned it.

Sofa Thu 07-May-20 18:45:14

At the grammar school I attended the careers advice was minimal. When in the lower sixth in 1964 I had an interview with the senior mistress who advised me to go to teacher training college as she said I wasn’t good enough to apply for a university place. So I applied and spent 3 very happy years there, followed by several years teaching before having my children and at the same time doing a part time degree. I went back to teaching when the children were at school. I have no regrets as I enjoyed my teaching career.

Bossyrossy Thu 07-May-20 19:02:30

Reading the various posts it seems that the majority of our generation we’re given very poor careers advice and expectations for our future were limited - office work, marriage, children. We missed out big time. Thank goodness things have changed and girls today have many more opportunities.

Grammaretto Thu 07-May-20 19:09:30

We had one 15 minute slot of careers advice. I must have been about 15 and doing O levels at my all girls grammar school (where I had already been told aged 13 that I could never be a doctor because I lacked physics and maths).

The careers woman asked me a few questions and looked at my report and suggested I could be a librarian.

That was the last thing on my mind.

I wanted to leave school. Eventually I went to art school and that turned out to be the right thing for me. I liked the look of the students and the only subject I enjoyed was art.
My widowed mother would have preferred me to be a librarian or at least to have gone to university but I am not an academic.

I think I did what I wanted despite the adults around me.
My older sister and younger brother toed the line.

CanadianGran Thu 07-May-20 19:42:20

I think finishing school in the late 70's there were options available and presented to us. However our family circumstances really made it tough if university was the goal, even if the academic marks were there. (Sick father, mother working hard to keep roof over our head).

However I do think that our school counsellors seemed to me to have an all-in outlook. As an animal lover who hated biology and chemistry class, I should not have been pushed towards considering veterinary school.

The four of us kids all finished school at 18 and went on to either trades or furthered our education later in life. I know my parents felt we were lucky to be able to finish our education at 18; they both had to leave with the basic education at 16.

Deedaa Thu 07-May-20 20:39:19

When I was well into my last year at school it became obvious that my Chemistry and Maths were appalling and I was never going to be a scientist. Fortunately our lovely art teacher backed me up and managed to get me through O level Art in one term instead of two years. The school were a bit miffed when I ended up going to art school because I was supposed to be university material.