Did your parents ever say they were proud of you

No. Our home would be classed as mentally abusive nowadays as dad didn't like any of the family he created, but everyone outside the family thought he was wonderful. Our friends often said they wished he was their dad. So did we! Mum did her best to protect us, but she was a nervous wreck because of living on eggshells since she married him. She would have left him but he said he'd make sure he had custody of us if she did. In those days it would probably have happened that way too. He eventually had an affair with her sister and she left him, but we were all grown up by then. I think I need a therapist because after writing this I've got such a headache. Still lots of emotions to let out. Thank you for letting me vent here.

Missfoodlove Same for me but my sister was the golden child.
My mother would occasionally say something sort of positive but also in a voice that suggested that she wanted to end with 'despite what everyone else thinks'. She does much more now. I had an email from her carer yesterday with some photos and she said that she wanted to set up a zoom chat when she could visit mum again. Given that Mum is now 94, I hope that it is not too long. They seem to be handling it better in Canada.
She also said 'your mother is very proud of you and says that you look like Goldie Hawn' which was nice if a bit random. We both have blonde hair but the similarity definitely ends there.

Like many of my age, I was brought up by parents who must have thought any form of praise/acknowledgement would make me big-headed; add to that a covert narcissist mother and a dad who told me I would never be any good at anything but passing exams and it explains why I have had low self-esteem all my life and now struggle with being expected to care for my mother. We made sure we didn't make the same mistakes with our children. It is so sad that we feel this way, as no doubt our parents did the best they could at the time.

My mother could never bring herself to say anything nice to me/ or about me /or 'well done' .
My father had never lived long enough to see me achieve what I did in my life and often wonder what he have thought/said.

hmm? don`t recall the words, but I knew my mum was "proud" of me..

I think I was very lucky. Despite my family suffering financial hardship and some other real difficulties when I was growing up, I always felt extremely loved. I was given praise, encouragement and affection by my parents, grandparents and great grandparents.
I believe that the love I had and felt, really did give me the strength to deal with the problems I've dealt with in life.

My dad said it to me on my second wedding day. I don’t ever remember my mum saying it.....

Not once that I recall.

I can't actually remember them specifically saying they were proud of me on any particular occasion. But I always knew they loved me very much. I had wonderful loving parents and was very lucky.

No. My Father did say while sitting in my beautiful large detached mansion “ “ well Janeayresister “ you have done well, because I thought you were just going to be an unmarried Mother”
When I won a place at a very prestigious University he said “ You won’t get a grant and I won’t pay.
So you get the gist, regarding my childhood.

Never, nothing I did was ever good enough, if I came second in anything, why wasn't I first. Was scared stiff all my life then. Still no confidence, more than 50 years on.

Never. Very unhappy childhood; thank God my maternal Nanny loved me.

Ellianne I sympathize. It was the same for me. I was publicly humiliated because I couldn't reach my mother's "high standards". She wore black to my wedding and rolled her eyes when I announced I was pregnant. Some mothers are best forgotten

Thank you Alishka for your kind words

Judy I loved your post and completely concur

No not as a child but in later life. There was lots of love, hugs and kisses in our home but can't remember being told they were proud of me. When Mr J and I married and bought a house they were immensely proud as we were the first in our family to do this. When I achieved professional qualifications and a career as an Adult they told me how well I had done. As they aged and Mr J and I cared for them they told us over and over again how much they appreciated what we were doing for them. It was a pleasure to care for them as they had cared for me as a Child and I would not have wanted it any other way.

I also think it was a generational thing.
Certainly, I found,when I worked, that the "love you!"'love you too/more!" words spoken at the end of every conversation between my clients and their grandkids seemed,well, a bit mechanical? Sort of like a more wordy "bye" ?

No, I think it was a generational thing. I never get praised even now by my mother, I get a grudging thanks sometimes. In contrast I tell my family how clever, beautiful and wonderful they are, its just what we do a bit of praise never hurt anyone.

I think most older people were raised at a time when, for fear of “spoiling” their children, parents were harsh and undemonstrative.
I never felt my parents loved me or were proud of me. My bedtime prayer said, “Make me a good girl” as though I’d been born bad.
When I passed the 11+ my father was hugely relieved that he wouldn’t have to pay for me to go to a private school.
Nothing I did was ever good enough for my mother, her criticism was almost as though she was jealous of my abilities.

On my mum's deathbed, she'd told the nurses what a " great girl I was " ( I was 45 ) and that was the first time I was ever praised. Did I mind ? Not at all because at least I was beside her when she quietly and peacefully died.

Neither parents ever sang their praises, except perhaps for my brother who was more brainy than myself but I can't remember ever being bothered by it. I was the " duffer ", but sadly they were so wrong and it was too late to realise that for both of them.

Interesting, lemongrove, maybe I have a good memory but I can recall things a teacher or two said at Infants School, and the odd comment at church or in a shop when I was quite young. Maybe words touch some people more deeply than others. Sadly it is the more hurtful, disparaging comments I remember more than the uplifting ones. Maybe some brains are wired differently.

I think my parents did not praise what I did well because my father had a sister who got the family's spare money to train her special talent (mezzo soprano) and she was spoiled and vain. My mother was reared in an orphanage and learned to be resilient and wanted me to be resilient.

Luckygirl ( and any others who had a similar upbringing)
You had a quite undemonstrative, even hard and unfeeling Mother, which was a great shame.
My comments were answering the OP ‘ did your parents ever say they were proud of you’.I wondered how anyone could remember their parents saying that, as most on here are in their 60’s and 70’s or even older.
If anyone had awful parents, hard, even cruel ones, then that’s a different matter entirely, but not what the OP asked.

No never . I didn't live with my parents until I was five as my mother was ill.
They never liked me but my older sister as the golden child

MawB why is it a strange Question? As you can see by the answers not everyone was.