Did your parents ever say they were proud of you

Oh I'd have loved a Pink Witch bike! When I passed my 11+ and several of my friends got bikes, my parents told me that as my brother was hugely unlikely to pass, they weren't going to get me a present as "it wouldn't be fair".
The irony was that when my brother came to take the exam, it had been abolished in our area and he went to the comprehensive. Obviously I'm over the bike thing now... almost.

No. I had an "odd" childhood. I did not live with my my mother until I was seven, when she was expecting another child. I lived with my Grandparents for the most part, but was "parked" with most of my Grandmother's other children (my Aunts and Uncles) at different times in my life. My Mother soon separated from my brother's father and I went back to my Grandmother, while he was sent to his father's relatives. I moved to live with my mother again when she married, when I was 12 years old. Our relationship was always difficult, and I left home repeatedly. I never knew my father (whom she divorced when my brother was born). My stepfather was fine, but I was not encouraged to get close to him, as this caused resentment from my Mother. As an adult, I used to visit her regularly (despite the constant criticism) until her death in 2008. I always felt sad that I didn't have the kind of relationship with my Mother that so many friends and work colleagues had.

My parents were very proud when I passed the 11+ but never said it to me . My brother and I were never praised in case it may have made us big headed ! Consequently I never realised I had a very high IQ and thought I was never going to achieve much so didn’t try . I found out in my in my mid thirty’s that my IQ was over 140 and it was too late to do anything with it . Maybe a bit of praise and encouragement when I was 11 would have made all the difference .

No. Neither of my parents ever told me that. I had a pretty awful childhood, but was close to my mum after my parents divorced when I was 5. But she wan't the type to praise or hug. I was never encouraged to do well either. I was expected to either work in Woolworth or go to secretarial college. i left home at 16!

When the 11+ letter arrived I was in bed recovering from having my tonsils out. My father bounced into my bedroom and said "which school do you want to go to?" and then gave me the names of the two grammar schools for girls. My parents were delighted.

Many years after the death of my father one of his senior work colleagues told me that my father was always talking about me - what I'd done etc. and said he was so proud of me. I'd never had any idea about this.

Crazy Granny . Like you I was never praised. When I passed 11+ it was decided I should not go as education was wasted on girls. Woolworths was my destiny. But a (lovely) work mate said it was wrong to stop me going . They relented. I was always in A class. Didn’t realise that I had high IQ. Did ok. Childhood in general was “odd”.

Maybe my father did one occasion was after school report said I sang with great gusto I confessed I had skipped all singing lessons hiding in a cupboard with a good book, had never met the new singing teacher! My ON despite all his hard work and success sadly never had praise

My father was on his deathbed when he told me and my sister that he and Mum loved us and were very proud of us. All I could think of was that he was 60 years too bloody late.

I always felt that I was the favourite daughter but only because I was a 'good girl' who always did as I was told and never stood up for myself.

It took me many years to realise that I didn't have to please other people to be liked.

Never once said anything remotely to indicate any pride. The results were I became an overachiever, always craved positive comments, never felt I was "good enough", and made certain my kids grew up knowing I was proud of them and continue to be.

My Dad always encouraged me and always told me how proud he was, he bought me a blue Raleigh bike when I passed the 11+, he took me to see the ballet Giselle in London when I got my law degree and told my husband what a lucky man he was when we announced we were getting married.
My mother, on the other hand was a nasty jealous woman who definitely preferred my younger sister and took every opportunity to try to belittle me, commenting on my physical appearance, fashion sense, goofy teeth, whatever she could think of.
Luckily I valued my father's, my husband's and my own opinion more.
I didn't go on to pursue a career in law, I chose to make motherhood my early career and later pursued a business management route, I have no regrets and remain reasonably proud of my achievements which is what counts in the end.

No, never it was always made clear that I was conceived when her contraception failed, my dad left before I was born I was raised by my grandma until she died since the age of 12 I looked after myself, and when I left my 1st husband who she adored his new wife became her daughter while she ignored my 2nd husband she's dead now and I'm sorry to say I don't miss her.

No, but always liked to critisize

When I passed the 11+ it was a given as my two sisters had done the same but I had a happy childhood as my parents loved each other dearly and home was a lovely safe place with no pressure.I can remember my mum telling.me years later that not all homes were as happy as ours that was because I had stayed at a friends house and was shocked that her mum and dad argued all night .My mum and dad praised there 3 children and there was never any doubt we were loved ,such happy memories.

The only time I remember them telling me that was when
I got into the honours class at university instead of the pass degree class. Otherwise I can’t remember them saying they were proud of me. Most of the timeI felt I wasn’t good enough!

Yes when the 11+ result came in but they always expected me to pass. Adult years, not really I think mother always resented my attitude and that I achieved what I wanted to do. Later father was more positive when DH achieved in business.

I have always given my DSs praise even when No 1 was going through a difficult phase.

Lilyflower if you are talking about the other thread about schools I think you will find that the grans who posted there went to a variety of schools not just grammar schools. All the grans who said they left school at 15 obviously went to secondary modern schools and some of the younger ones who posted went to the more modern high schools after grammar schools were scrapped in many areas.

I think my brother and I always knew we were loved although our parents weren't particularly affectionate. They must have argued but they would never argue in front of us.

They were proud when I passed the 11+ and I think they were proud of many of the things I have done over the years. They definitely became more affectionate as they grew older but maybe that was seeing how affectionate I and my children were towards each other.

Our parents generation were very inadequate with showing emotions I feel. Reading these posts, some were lucky to have loving parents. I never felt they were proud of any of my achievements. Never tucked me up, read me a story or said they loved me or were proud of me, So I make sure my children and grandchildren always know how proud of them I am and how much they are loved. Remember all,we reap what we sow!!

Seems like it was a bit of a generational thing. Sixty years or more ago it wasn't the done thing to praise your children in case they became conceited . Showing affection was also not done in a lot of families.

I don't feel I missed out at all.
If you haven't had it, you don't miss it, and I was loved and secure.

I would have thought my mum had flipped her lid if she started telling me how proud of me she was.

Always 'not quite good enough'. Not academic enough, not compliant enough, a 'bit of a disappointment' when compared to younger sister (16 years younger). Still, I have a fab husband and family and now grandchildren and I finally feel 'good enough'.

It wasn’t the lack of praise from my father and him not saying ever that he was proud of me that was a problem but it was the years and years of putting me down. From a very young age to my quite mature age so much harm was done. My sister could do no wrong over the years and still is the only one talked about constantly out of all the siblings. My sister was encouraged to go off to study after school and supported to do so. But no-one else in the family was. Even now, her and her family are the only topic of conversation. She is in complete denial about this. He never noticed most of his grand-children so probably wonders why they never visit. Very sad.

It's interesting that some were praised for academic achievement while my experience was the opposite; I did very well at school and went to a top university - first in my family to go - but my parents valued practical skills more and made this clear. I still feel bad that I don't have those abilities, as they seem much more useful. I set up a freelance business in my late 30s and have been doing it successfully for nearly 20 years; I wish my dad had lived to see it. My mum shows little interest in my work, though, and sometimes complains that it stops me from doing what she thinks I should do - which is basically be her unpaid skivvy.

I was a "GI" baby and never had a dad. String of stepfathers who were either physically or sexually abusive. I have no memory of my mother ever actually touching me, even when I was deathly ill and they thought I would die from double pneumonia, other than to hit me. Her answer to everything was violence.

My (much beloved) Nan used to say she could never forgive me for looking like my dad and was taking it out on me because he didn't stay with her. I think she was right.

It all came to a head when I was about 16-17 and I ran away from home. Never went back. Years later, I heard that my mother was dead and that she died waiting for me to visit her.

It was many, many years before I could even talk about her without exploding with rage.

I made very sure that my own children knew how much they were loved and were kissed and cuddled - neither of which I ever experienced.

My mother used to say I'd make a terible mother because I was so selfish. My Nan and Aunt ( her sister) countered with "Rubbish!" Probably why I mourn them and not her.

Oh! Forget to mention - I earned a scholership to art school and she tried to stop me going by insisting she could not afford all the equipment. My Nan bought it for me. After the first year she insisted I leave and get a job. She said she's spent long enough looking after me and it was my turn.