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Where is the lockdown community spirit

(123 Posts)
Gingster Sat 09-May-20 20:52:24

My 80 yr old sister In law lives on a new estate with lovely houses with families all around her. Not one neighbour has knocked on her door to offer help or assistance,

NanaPlenty Sun 10-May-20 08:50:56

I think there is sometimes a danger of people thinking hat others are ok when they may not be. Having said that all of our neighbours are lovely. There is plenty of help available locally but you do need to be on Facebook etc. to see it.

kittylester Sun 10-May-20 08:58:23

I do think that people not on the internet might miss out.

harrigran Sun 10-May-20 09:09:22

Absolutely no help offered or communication from anyone, took us five weeks to get some food delivered.
DS and DIL were going to have to break lockdown to bring us some essential when we managed to get a delivery at 11pm one night.
When this is over I will not be taking in parcels for the young neighbour, prior to lockdown she had several parcels a week. The neighbour was never at home and can't have been in great need of the goods because she didn't collect them for days.
I see this young woman pass the window each day but averts her eyes.

pollyperkins Sun 10-May-20 09:18:25

I agree it’s easier to get a community spirit going in a small village. We are pretty rural in a tiny village with no shops, but a network has been set up with volunteers willing to do shopping or pick up prescriptions. Everyone has a number to phone for help and there are also deliveries from lots of local shops - butchers, grocers etc. The milkman delivers other items as well as milk and local farms are selling eggs or meat. There is also a weekly visit from a fish and chip van which is very popular at the moment! Some of the most elderly & vulnerable are also regularly being phoned. Its been wonderful to see the community spirit coming together.

pollyperkins Sun 10-May-20 09:28:00

Yes Kitty we also have facebook and WhatsApp village groups where a lot of information is exchanged. And information is sent out by email. However the 5 or so households without email or computers do have paper copies put in their doors and have been given a phone number Which most have used to ask for prescription pick ups etc. We have tried to think of everyone. (DH was instrumental, with others, in setting this up.)

polnan Sun 10-May-20 10:10:45

I am over 80, immediate neighbours are aware that my dh died just before Christmas, noone has contacted me to see if I need any help...save, see just below. car parked in front garden, that is how these houses were planned, so they know I am not going out.
my immediate neighbour did tell me to put a note on his dustbin if I needed anything, but when we see each other he barely speaks, after I have said GM or whatever, and rushes away.. couple of doors away, elderly lady has visitors and she will shout across to me, (perhaps 2/3 times) but doesn`t ask if I am o.k. or whatever..
so small close,, not a comforting community, no clapping, whatever we think of that, and nothing about VE..
ho hum... such is life..

CarlyD7 Sun 10-May-20 10:12:11

We live in a very friendly road - and it always is. My OH has been shopping for an elderly neighbour and another who is ill, but we already knew these people and so knew who might be vulnerable. Don't forget that young families will be dealing with having to educate and entertain their children - our next door neighbours are only in their 30's but clearly exhausted; plus others will be self-isolating also due to illnesses that are not necessarily visible (another neighbour who looks perfectly well and is in her 50's, for example, is on immunosuppressant drugs so is self-isolating with her husband). I wonder how well your SIL knows her neighbours anyway - is she a friendly person? Is she able to go out? Unless her neighbours already know her, they will not feel able to knock on her door (I would think) and so it is up to her to ask for help if she needs it.

optimist Sun 10-May-20 10:13:38

NO. I live in London and there is plenty of community spirit here.......its a myth that London doesnt help neighbours it is the friendliest place I have lived. A myth put about by country people I fear.

Humbertbear Sun 10-May-20 10:16:09

We live in a London suburb. Neighbours and friends have offered to shop for us. We have had phone calls offering help from the GP surgery and local synagogue. There is an independent community group organised and also a lively WhatsAp group where you can ask for help and we share tips about shopping. However, I think if you need help you shouldn’t be too proud or shy to ask for it. I have a younger friend up North who has hurt her knee And can’t walk and has been surprised at the offers of help she has received once she swallowed her pride and asked for help.

inishowen Sun 10-May-20 10:18:41

Ireland supplied free stamped postcards to each household. Such a lovely thing for householders to ask for help or just thank someone.

CarlyD7 Sun 10-May-20 10:19:54

What has struck me about lockdown is that our experience of it usually (not always I know) reflects our lives before it. So those who already live in a friendly community, have good neighbours, and at least some kind of support network (whether that is a church, voluntary group, family, friends, etc) seem to do okay. I think it highlights where the "gaps" are in our lives, and maybe gives us the opportunity to do something about it in the future (if we are able to).

sue01 Sun 10-May-20 10:24:27

I've started a weekly village magazine to keep people informed and entertained. It's up to 18 pages now... a pot pourri of virus info... who to contact for help... which shops and restaurants are doing deliveries.. and joyful pieces on village news, lots of pictures of blossom, lambs, memory lane stuff. We've discovered such talent - for art and poetry. We also do quizzes and competitions. Even people's families are joining in - says it makes them feel close to their loved ones in the village. All done electronically - with hard copies for those without computers.

jct1 Sun 10-May-20 10:24:35

Just a PR stunt to boost morale.

Rosina Sun 10-May-20 10:27:09

Our next door neighbour has brought us some unasked for goodies from his weekly shopping trip (we have been lucky enough to get slots with a supermarket) a note came through from a local group set up by the county council to ask if we needed help, and all this for a couple who don't have health problems but are just past seventy. Lucky us - we do live in a friendly small market town. I think you have hit the nail on the head, Carly.

Missiseff Sun 10-May-20 10:30:53

Not everyone is so mean-spirited. My Son lives on a cul-de-sac and is shopping for four of his elderly neighbours

Craftycat Sun 10-May-20 10:37:06

Our road is a very friendly place & we all look out for each other. I am shooing for 2 older neighbours & we do all socialise regularly. Our street party on Saturday was great although we all stayed in our own gardens.
I must say though that one of the people I shop for moans every time about what I get him his order. I do my best but he wants all organic & the shops just do not have much.
I keep smiling.

Twopence Sun 10-May-20 10:40:30

Wonderful community spirit here. Local village volunteers available if required. Most pubs and cafes, which depend on holiday trade, are offering takeaways for delivery or collection. Village grocery shop delivering. Everyone pulling together. Neighbours keeping an eye one each other. Always a good response to clapping for carers on a Thursday.

TrendyNannie6 Sun 10-May-20 10:44:54

I live on a estate part of a town and I’ve had notes put through the door offering to help if I needed anything from our towns volunteers as I’m shielding, I can’t grumble which was lovely, I haven’t taken advantage of this as I have a great family and husband who will and do help if I need anything at all, I really feel for people who feel isolated

harrysgran Sun 10-May-20 10:48:16

A lovely note was put through my door from a family in our road with contact details on asking me to let them know if I needed shopping or help also our village store are delivering free of charge to those who need it .

Aepgirl Sun 10-May-20 10:55:58

I’ve had offers of help from neighbours, churches and the local council. You have to keep looking.

Bluesmum Sun 10-May-20 10:59:28

I think you must live in the same village as me Kittylester!

Missee Sun 10-May-20 11:00:57

My neighbours on one side says hello, next door on other side is empty. No-one else even smiles. I try to catch their eyes. I can’t wait for all this to be over then I’m selling up & off to Tasmania to live near my daughter. I won’t miss the 34 years I’ve lived here

hicaz46 Sun 10-May-20 11:06:24

Our street, which is quite long with over 300 assorted houses and bungalows, semis and detached, has a mutual aid WhatsApp group started about 6 weeks ago. Note was pushed through everybody’s door and you responded if you wanted to. It’s been wonderful, shopping undertaken, items swapped or given away, including frog spawn. The image of buckets of frog spawn going up and down the road was quite funny. Everyone has observed social distancing and on VE Day many of us had tea at 4.00pm in our front gardens. We met neighbours we had never spoken to and it was wonderful. The group has a variety of ages from elderly to young families and we have all vowed to continue this community spirit after lockdown.

4allweknow Sun 10-May-20 11:07:49

Gingster Same here apart from one neighbour who at the start asked if we were okay. This was when I was taking some chunky chalks to her children who were drawing on the pavement. Never had any contact or offer from anyone since. The area is mainly families who are too busy complaining about the fairy doors they place on the woodland park being removed. Technically litter but they see it as theft! Community spirit - never heard of it.

NemosMum Sun 10-May-20 11:11:31

Our street has been brilliant in supporting the elderly and vulnerable, and I think that my community in general has been really excellent. I have noticed that the 'best' streets are the Victorian terraces and the more modest semis. The ones bereft of the community spirit locally are the millionaires' detached and where there are long front gardens with tall hedges and trees. Is it our visibility to each others as neighbours which promotes community relations?