Living with guilt about smoking

Do not blame yourself for your sons illness, I know a lady who is 98 sits outside in her wheelchair puffing away been smoking since very young, she’s said for several years there’s no way I’m stopping now, you have given up that’s a great achievement, I must admit I have zero tolerance for smoking, absolutely detest it, luckily for me I’ve never been a smoker, but I’m sure it’s a difficult addiction to beat, like many other addictions and even more difficult in the lockdown,

People just didn’t know the dangers then. Look at all the Hollywood “ glamour” from the past, around their leading ladies smoking. Even when I was a nurse 40 years ago, it was only just starting to be a thing, that there was any danger attached to smoking. Your son may have become ill anyway, nothing to do with your smoking. It’s not your fault you made a mistake. You have learnt from it, which is the main thing. I feel sad seeing young people smoking today. There really is no excuse now. The knowledge is everywhere. I find myself looking at them, about 20 years old, and thinking the very least that will happen is in 10 years they’ll look 40!

Going against the grain here. I've started smoking again, occasionally, since lockdown, gave up many,many years ago.Even cheapo ones(B&H Superkings) are 10.00 per pkt!

My daughter's 39. I gave up smoking completely while I was pregnant, but put a pack of cigarettes in my hospital case for after she was born... there was a smoking room on the ward ?
Hard to imagine now and as much as we knew it was a bad thing, it was hardly discouraged back then.

As a reformed smoker, although I confess that I do vape, a problem with banning things is that it is likely to create a sort of black market (think about prohibition in America?).

Also make something illegal, and there will always be those that find it more attractive.

Firstly Willow 10, well done for quitting, that's a massive achievement. My husband started smoking at Prep School when he was 8 and is a pretty addicted smoker. He has quit for long periods but has been smoking again (never in the house) for a few years and I hate it.
As far as your son's health goes, you already recognise that your smoking may have been a contributory factor , but there's nothing there you can change. Being a Mum seems to programme us to feel guilt about anything that adversely affects our children. My eldest daughter was admitted to hospital over the weekend with severe abdominal pain and fever, which could have been a number of things. My first thought? I should have breastfed her for longer (she is 40!) Be gentle with yourself and focus instead on the bits of motherhood that you did really well

Don't blame yourself for your son's illness. I know a chap who was never in contact cigarettes but still developed heart problems.

It's so sad to read about those who have lost family members at such a young age, from the effects of smoking. My heart goes out to you. I wonder if today's generation will have the same losses and guilt in years to come, from the overuse of alcohol? A bottle of spirits often used to last us from one Christmas to the next! Now it can be finished in one sitting.

I don't think you should blame yourself for your son's illness.

They certainly do have alot to answer for.
But honestly Willow10,you must not blame youself as no-one knew the dangers and effect smoking had on anyone.
We all know the dangers now and learn from them.
The government would never ban them as they earn a fortune in tax from those who do smoke.
My mother died at the age of 61 from lung problems due to smoking,and my sister had mouth cancer from smoking and she too died at the age of 57 three years ago and my brother died with smoke related problems six weeks ago.
Again please don`t blame youself.
I have never smoked thankfully

Well I gave up smoking when I was pregnant with my first baby, 47 years ago.
I gave up because it was known then to be very unhealthy.

I think we all started because it was the ‘thing’ to do, I remember forcing myself to carry on and get used to it.
It’s very hard to give up, I had a few lapses, but in the end I won.

I’m not sure why you didn’t realise it was bad for you.
I think I may feel the same as you but the fact is that if you give up then your lungs can recover fairly quickly and your risk of smoking related problems goes down.
If your son left home and didn’t smoke perhaps you aren’t as culpable as you think?

My mother died from COPD so I have zero tolerance of smoking.
Your son’s illness has nothing to do with you smoking. Please do not worry about that.
I agree with you that the sale of cigarettes should be banned and feel that nowhere should be provided for smokers to indulge their filthy habit until such times as it becomes outlawed.

Apologies for the mistakes.