Life as a widow

My husband was never very sociable so we didn't go to a lot dinners in people's homes. H died shortly before Covid so invitations dried up altogether for a couple of years. What I find now is that we are all older, several friends have also been widowed or become unwell, and dinners have become lunches in local restaurants so we are all home before dark.

To be fair, Luckygirl, I think fewer people are inviting friends for meals in the home, widowed or married. We tend to meet friends in cafes or pubs.

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Well I buck the trend. I invite a friend or 2 for a meal almost every Friday. It punctuates the week nicely. Usually fresh fish from the van is on the menu. It's easy.

I also never refuse an invitation incase I don't get invited again.

Having been brought up by a widow I am very aware that invitations can be sparse but I am not afraid to buy 2 tickets to events and invite a friend to join me.

Or, as I did for my last birthday, booked afternoon tea for 2 at a wonderful place where I had always wanted to go and again invited a friend to join me.

It's no good feeling sorry for yourself and I suggest you drop the couples if you're not included. Life's too short.

I agree LucyAnna - every 6 -8 weeks, 6 of us neighbours go for a pub lunch. two are widowed, one divorced (me), one single. (through choice) and 2 are married, but leave their husbands at home. Its something we look forward to.
Luckygirl - Why don’t you start a little ladies’ group ? Take the initiative and suggest it to you neighbours. You’ll be surprised…..

I think that’s true, LucyAnna5. My friends and I used to regularly host get togethers, taking it in turns to host. As we’ve got older, we now tend to meet up for lunch somewhere as it is easier, plus day time meet ups are preferable to evening ones in the winter months, as we like to be in before dark. It’s slightly different in the summer months when we will have the odd get together at each others homes and enjoy being out in the garden.

Perhaps, Luckygirl, you could consider a get together at a nice cafe or garden centre or similar with a few friends in the summer months if your health would allow it?

I don’t think Luckygirl is feeling sorry for herself, Grammaretto, just making an observation as she sees it at the moment?

LucyAnna5

To be fair, Luckygirl, I think fewer people are inviting friends for meals in the home, widowed or married. We tend to meet friends in cafes or pubs.

I think that's true, LucyAnna.

We used to invite friends, neighbours for dinner and go to their houses too but have not done that for years. Perhaps an informal gathering occasionally, but not a dinner party.

It's a lot of hard work for the host(s) and much more relaxing to go out.

And lunch-time is preferable now we're older too.

I, and 2 of my widowed friends, take it in turns to host dinner once a month, usually on a Saturday evening. We take the opportunity to cook something special, usually a 3 course dinner with good wines; lay the table with our nicest dinner ware, cutlery, crystal and napkins that has been lying unused for far too long. We really make the effort to make the menu, and the table special. It's lovely to have the incentive to use our "best and nicest" for each other and, as each turn only comes around every 3 months, it's not too expensive or too much trouble. And it's fab being the guest!

Maybe I am just a bit down atm. Plagued by ill health just now. And not really well enough to go out anyway! Things can only get better ......
I do have lots of friends. I just miss the sort of social life we once had. Being a bit tied to.the house just now does not help.
It is interesting though how people tend to be invited as couples.