The most embarrassing moment of my life!

Such hilarious stories, I have laughed out loud. Such a tonic. I have a couple. When heavily pregnant I picked up my (also pregnant) friend. I hadn't been driving very long. Her husband came out to wave us off. I reversed into their neighbour's white picket fence knocking the whole thing down. Years later whilst on a day out with same friend and by then our four kids we stopped to ask directions of a man eating a hot dog. Having been given instructions on getting to our destination I blurted out 'I can smell your sausage ' I don't know what made me say it - we giggled about it all day and still do to this day ... They've never let me forget it.

I don't do embarrassing but my sister does it in spades.
A few years ago we were on a coach and were about to alight at the station in Avignon, sister stands and is carrying a cool bag and heavy handbag. My sister was wearing linen, drawstring below knee shorts, as she proceeded to the front of the coach her shorts descended slowly to her ankles. We laugh about it now but she was mortified at the time.

Another time we were shopping in M&S and she started wriggling, when I asked her what the matter was and she said her tights had rolled under her tummy and were slowly rolling down her thighs. She was wearing a skirt that was above the knees and the tights were making their way to her hemline. She had to nip her knees together and walk crablike to the changing cubicles where there was a long queue, she waited with a garment she had grabbed off the nearest rail as she passed to cover her embarrassment.

It’s been a fun thread. I’m chortling again now visualising Anneeba being deep cleaned in the Parisian toilet.

Thank you everyone you have really cheered me up and made me laugh with all your little mishaps.

My neighbour has just asked me, " if you go to the garden centre and see some bedding plants will you bring me some trailing labia " ???

Mine wasn't me but my husband, we were viewing a house, the estate agent invited us to go ahead of her up the stairs, I went first my husband followed me, with the lady estate agent behind my husband who proceeds to fart loudly just about every stair, I didn't know where to look, nor did he, she tried hard not to react, but suddenly we both fell about laughing
When my husband said "stairs are abit noisy" .. ha ha.

Having recently been redeployed to another hospital in our Trust i had to find the loo, no problem and was thoroughly wasHing my hands when in walked a male - i was in the gents!!

Lol so funny all your stories made me laugh

Many moons ago there was a very good looking young doctor at our surgery. I carefully avoided seeing him for what my Dad used to call Ladies problems! When I went to the Family Planning Clinic to have a coil fitted - no prizes for guessing who the doctor was!

What a laugh I have had reading these, there seems to be a theme " toilets" LOL

My most embarrassing moment was when I was in the throes of labour with my first child. It was decided a paediatricain needed to be present at the delivery as there were some concerns re the baby's heartbeat during labour .

Obviously at second stage and more pressing things to worry about , the presence of another person in a mask and gown didn't cause me a thought .

Eventually after a lot of hard work on my part the baby was delivered and handed to the paed. I was elated and lying back so happy with myself and all I had achieved. Next thing a face appeared in front of me , minus the mask. It was a guy I had known from school !! He was the paed and of course knew me immediately and was so lovely, congratulations etc but to say I was mortified is an understatement . ( he was witness to my undercarriage too !!)

dontmindstayinghome I frequently used to have those awful "toilet" dreams - where you can't find a toilet, or the one that's there isn't plumbed in, or there's no door on the cubicle. Your experience would be top of my list for embarrassment. I do think your window cleaner was rather indelicate in the way he dealt with it though. He should have just left the window.

My "real life" toilet nightmare was when we were on holiday some years ago. We had a folding caravan and, after a hot and tiring day, pulled into a camp site. We both headed for the toilets, my husband some way ahead of me. I walked through the block, which was pretty basic to say the least, pushing open the swing doors as I tried to find a cubicle that was not in a mucky looking state. I pushed at one door, only to find a middle aged man sitting on the toilet reading his newspaper. He looked up, quite unabashed, and said cheerily "Afternoon". Luckily we only stayed one night and I didn't encounter him again.

9 months pregnant, it was an exceptionally hot summer. I'd made myself a pouffy maternity dress in ice cream colours. It was nice and baggy so didn't stick to me. It was SO hot I wore it without underwear. Husband and I popped round the corner to the shops and were walking through the small precinct when a sudden gust of wind blew the dress right up and over my head.

He was furious. I was just embarrassed. It wasn't so much the nudity as the heavily pregnant stomach. That almost inhuman stage when you feel 90% stomach.

I was a fat child and mum used to make me wear a girdle
I was about 14 and I had lost a new one in the shower room after gym in school. When mum found out she said I had to ask if anyone had found it. I did not of course however
a couple of months later and mum still going on there was a box brought around the class room of lost property and we were asked to look though it I waited and waited until
everyone had a look and was back to their seats it was very noisy and everyone was doing their own thing so I went to have a look. Just as I got there my teacher came over just to pass the time really and then said what are you looking for.
to which I whispered very quietly a girdle and the teacher shouted as loudly as she could a girdle the class when completely quiet as I creped back to my desk. The teacher did apologise afterwards but I had panic attacks for years afterwards.

Year's ago I was walking up the hill to town on a windy day and as I walked past a restaurant, a gust of wind blew my skirt right up and showed my knickers to an appreciative group of men sitting drinking by the window.

Recovering quickly I pulled my skirt back to where it should be and curtsied to the window to the obvious hilarity of the men and then rapidly walked away.

I thought I had got away lightly but I had been spotted by my daughter and her friends who were wetting themselves with laughter across the road!

I walked home by a different route just in case.

I was a few sizes slimmer then and luckily my underwear was presentable!

My DMiL, who was pretty accident-prone, had been invited to a posh house nearby for a Chrismas morning drink. MiL didn't want to go but was persuaded by my FiL. Trying to remain unobtrusive she looked around for somewhere to sit that was out of the way. She spied a pouffe and sat down, the pouffe slid across the floor and she toppled over backwards with her legs in the air. I think it was my FiL, who wanted to make a good impression, who was the most embarrassed.

My most embarrassing moment was when 52 years ago very close to our wedding day we both went to the Doctors re my taking the pill. Unfortunately my husband to be (in four weeks time) left his umbrella there and the surgery rang my Mum to say he had left it. Red faces for me!

As a child at a friends birthday party, playing games when the elastic broke in my knickers and promptly fell down in front of my friends brothers, they never did forgot that.

We were on Holiday and I had just taken a shower. Entering the bedroom with just a towel around my waist I thought how stuffy it was so went over to open the window. There was a car park outside our room and there in full view of some people just exiting their car was me with my boobs on display.
Not a pretty sight!

I did that, GreenGran, but on one of those traffic islands and staggering into the road, arms flailing as you say. I’ve never seen such a panic- and horror-stricken face as the one on the driver heading my way, as I recovered my balance and scampered to safety.

Anneeba A bit like Basil Fawlty’s, “He’s from Barcelona!”

Thank you, everyone, for giving me a good laugh. Nothing so mortifying has ever happened to me. The worst thing that I have ever done is to catch my toe on the kerb, after crossing the road. I staggered across the pavement, arms flailing as I tried to save myself from diving into the bushes. Some nearby workmen were nearly wetting themselves laughing. Thankfully I was spared the total indignity of falling over, and escaped as fast as I could.

@ Anneeba

Nous sommes Anglais

that really tickled me!

About twenty years ago I had to go into hospital for a eye operation. When I went in I found I was on a men’s ward due to shortage of beds. The nurse gave me a hospital gown to change into and I decided to go and change in the loos as the wrap around curtains didn’t join and I didn’t feel happy about changing in a male ward full of old men. When I changed the surgeon, anaesthetist and nurses came to my bed to check details etc. First the nurse said I had put the gown back to front. She then asked if I had removed all clothing including my knickers. I told her that I had kept them on as they would be looking at my eyes and not down there. She then told me that they had provided paper knickers and I said I thought it was a mask with large eye holes. The doctors and the ward were all laughing. I felt such a fool.

On a short weekend break in Nottingham, the OH and I decided to take a look at Nottingham Castle, which we could see from our hotel window, we walked the short distance only to find out that it was shut for extensive work to be done on it. Not to be wasting time, we mooched around, found a lovely man who used to work there so got a kind of virtual talk from him about the history of the castle. He left us and we walked round the corner where there is a statue of Robin Hood himself, we were taking photos, and I asked a couple if they wanted me to take a photo of them both, "yes, came the answer and we will take one of you as well". All hunky dory until they left and my OH seemed reluctant to move, it transpires that he had sat on the plinth surrounding Robin Hood and it had been raining.....his Khaki coloured trousers now had a huge "wet patch" on the back. We were so relieved that the hotel was in striking distance, but he walked there doing a very good Prince Philip impersonation, Hands behind back with trusty carrier bag covering the back of his pants. Still it was something to tell the family when we got home.

We were in Paris with our two children, not rolling in money in those days, when DD and I decided we both needed the loo. We could only find an expensive self-service one, whereby you paid a small fortune via a slot machine, which opened the door. It was suitably clean and spacious, so my daughter went in first then I popped in after her using the same coins. I shut the door when, seconds later, just long enough to get everything dangling round my ankles, it went into full self cleaning mode, water shooting around me from all angles and sides. In panic I crashed out of the door to be met by not just my family, but a whole load of other people who had mysteriously materialised out of nowhere. My husband used his standard phrase in France for whenever we got into pickles (usually driving, especially at roundabouts and particularly in Paris), 'Nous sommes Anglais'. Gallic shrugs accepted this as a perfectly acceptable explanation whilst I hopped along trying to get everything back in place. Plus, I still needed the loo.

We had a pub at work and on Fridays many of the doctors from the local hospital used to come over for a drink.
I was in my office and had to suddenly pass wind. It was a very loud fart, but I didn't think anyone was around so breathed a sigh of relief until I went into the pub area and discovered the intercom had been on and my flatulence had been heard in stereophonic sound by the entire group. Made their night, but I never lived it down!