My lovely dad was in the Home Guard during the war. I was about 7 when he told me about the time they were doing drill and marching. He told me out of all the men marching he was the only one in step. I was very impressed. Next day at school I rushed to tell my friends about my clever daddy being the only one in step. I was so proud. It was a very long time before the penny dropped.
My Mum when she first started work at 15 was sent to the stores for a tin of tartan paint!... another time she was sent for a long wait! and the storeman asked her to wait up the corridor! I don't know how long before she was sent back. My husband a mechanic used to tell the children that if were lucky they would see a tube train go through the pit! (Obviously he worked in London)
When I was a child about 7 or 8, my dear dad told me that the veins in blue cheese were made by maggots. He only ate it, if we went out to eat and he had the cheese board. I would have an ice cream for my desert and would watch him eat the blue cheese in horrified fascination.
We certainly never had blue cheese in the house, in those days. I never even tried it myself until I was in my 50’s, but I really enjoy it now.
My Dad would often tell the tale of how the day Hitler surrendered was the day he was going to be sent over to Germany "so obviously they heard I was on my way and surrendered" I believed him as did the grandchildren when he was still telling the story we all still laugh about it now
My Mum used to say that she was going to put me into the local childrens home . It wasn't until I was in my forties that I could walk on that road without fear !.
Not a trick played on me but one I played on our sons. When we moved into our brand new house (40 years ago now) there were several young families in the street and money was tight for all of us so when the ice cream van came round we all told our children that he was playing the tune to let everybody know he had run out of ice cream. It worked - for a while!
Tireoldwoman, my mum used to threaten me with being sent to a 'home' too. Cruel.
If you swallowed chewing gum it would get tangled around your bones.
Mum and dad drove to a garage one day when I was about 5 and left my younger brother and me in the car as it went up on the ramp. We had no idea what was happening as it raised and our screams were laughed at. I honestly thought we were being sent to heaven! Very cruel.
When I was 8 I was cleaning some old pre-decimal pennies to give to our brownie fundraising effort and finding it really hard work. My mum told to use some elbow grease on it and so I asked her for some. She made a great show of looking in the cupboard under the sink and on not finding any gave me some money to go and buy some. I went to THREE local shops before a grumpy shopkeeper told me that there was no such stuff and not to bother him again! It’s a story that is still shared today (although I’ve had the last laugh as I was able to wrap up some ‘elbow grease’ product now available and give it to mum for Christmas) ?
Whenever we had family get togethers my dad and uncles used to disappear for a couple of hours. I was always told they had gone to the "milk bar " and I had a vivid picture in my mind of my dad and uncles sitting on high stools sipping milk shakes.
We used to play with a neighbours daughter who was a couple of years older than me and told very tall stories. One of the ones that horrified me was about a boy swimming in the local pool when they pulled the plug out. He got sucked down the plug hole and ended up in a field miles away. As soon as I related the tale to my parents they knew immediately who I had been playing with!
An aunt told me the moon was the sun's reflection. Parents also told me the ones about swallowing apple pips and chewing gum getting stuck to your insides.
In our house it was if you didn't eat your crusts, your hair wouldn't curl - can tell you that didn't work! I can remember sending someone to the shop for a long wait!
My daughter was in bed not very well when my sister in law phoned asking for her only to say “it’s Cilla here Surprise Surprise”in a Liverpudlian accent. It was so funny. My daughter believed her and started screaming Cilla’s on the phone. That was the time Cilla Black tricked a few folks by saying surprise surprise. we brought that one up with my daughter mercilessly so funny
This is a recent one I overheard. I was in a leisure centre when a mum and kids came in. The kids went straight to the vending machine e and the mum said "those are not for Canadians". (They were Canadian) the kids instantly walked away.
My daughter in law used to sit her little ones on those ride on toys outside shops. They thought that was it. They didn't know you were supposed to put money in to make them go!
When we went out in the car we would often pass road signs warning of subsidence. I asked my dad what it meant and he explained that old mine workings caused the road to sink. I was very scared after that, imagining our car, and us, disappearing into a bottomless hole.
His biggest legpull with me was to tell me that his little finger was permanently bent because I sat on it on the beach and squashed it round a pebble! I never did find out what actually happened to it.
I never knew my dad to have his own teeth (they were all taken out when he was in his early 20s (which is what happened then if you had gum disease), I never understood why first thing in the morning he could pull funny faces, but not after morning ‘ablutions’. Of course, that’s when he put his dentures in!
When working as a young lad, many, many years ago at our local greengrocers they frightened the life out of me telling tales of what earwigs do when they get into your ear!