Good Morning Wednesday

GrandmaFrench your unstinting care for your friend is what true friendship is all about. It’s awful that your friend, a mother, is left to fend for herself in her late life need.
I only wish I had had my mother for longer to take care of (she died when I was 35).

I hope you can get help from her GP, and some social services, but certainly at the moment there is lots of community support, as you know, set up since Covid19.

Harrigran, I'm so sorry to hear about your BIL. Such dreadful circumstances. I'm sure your daughter will be a great support to your poor sister in law. You must be very proud of her.

GrandmaFrench, I was in a similar position with my cousin.
I phoned her GP and left a message asking her to contact me, as I was seriously concerned about her mental and physical wellbeing. I acknowledged that due to confidentiality, she couldn't discuss my cousin's health, but that my cousin was in dire need.
The GP did contact me and thanked me for contacting her.
She then went and saw my cousin at home.
It is worth a try.

Good morning everyone from a very grey Gower.

harrigran, sorry to hear that your BiL has died. So difficult for you not being able to be with your DS but I am glad that your DD can be there for her, I'm sure it will be a comfort. ?

Grandmafrench, you are clearly a good friend, I expected nothing less from you though. I think the suggestion to contact Age UK and the social services is a good one. I hope she receives better treatment and care soon. As for her daughters, we all know the old saying about not being able to choose one's family - despicable attitude and behaviour.

Welcome to gn newbies ?

Today is another day as they say. Take care everyone, look after yourselves ❤️

What lovely people you are - all of you. I feel better in that I have been in my garden, potting things and talking to the plants! They must be bored stiff with it all.

I am actually going to follow all the advice given. Why not? I shall firstly find out exactly what surgery my friend is with and take it from there. She's a great reader and I'm sure will welcome the book recommendations. We have always had such laughs when we are together and she is the first to mock herself and her "moaning".

Just to clarify, I think that the "children' were probably rather spoiled...at least rather protected from some of life's realities and responsibilities when they were growing up and my friend nursed their Father for 10 years with cancer. Then she was the one (Brother not interested) who put all the care into her Father's Motor Neurone disease and her Mother's eventual Dementia. Then she moved South from London, started a new life, travelled, came to stay with us in France, then lost her dear Partner and her little dog.

The 4 Daughters have had, from memory, 10 Husbands between them and many new partners - some of them wealthy. In normal times they appear to have been lovers of plastic surgery, new cars, beauty treatments etc., and foreign holidays. These interests have been passed on to their children and some of those children now have children. No time or interest in my friend - too busy being fabulous! The Grandchildren have no clue as to what to say by way of conversation with their Gran, even though she can and will chat about anything and everything given the chance.
They took her to stay with them when she had been very ill with Bronchitis one winter. She spent most of the time in the house alone, since with all the comings and goings, meals are things which are put into a microwave when necessary, so there was no company or routine. There are 60 odd steps up through the garden to the hosting Daughter's property, so even though eventually she could have gone out, my friend was too terrified to attempt the steps alone (no rails anywhere). I think it's probably just modern day neglect towards their Mum, but too late to do anything about it now!

If things happen or improve I shall certainly report back to you. Remember, please, that if you are feeling down I'm thinking of you too. Thank you a thousand times for just listening.........xxxxxx

I get these sleepless nights too. Strangely I don’t need a siesta. Arthritis pain makes me need that. For the first time in 8 years I feel let down by my GP practice.. Not sure if I should tell them.

What a very sad situation your dear friend in grandmafrench. What shocks me is the fact that neither of her four daughters, who should be falling over each other caring for their mother, are instead, leaving her to go through these ordeals alone. Shocking behaviour.

The rain has now stopped here in Glasgow so hopefully it stays off allowing me to finish of some gardening tasks.

Good Morning All
Another dreich day in Harrogate. This afternoon we have to take our little dog to the vet hospital in Wakefield. She has cataracts and Glaucoma. Not sure if they will operate on her today or not - she's a feisty little dog, will probably be OK

Sending condolences harrigran at this sad time ?

And grandmafrench I can’t add anything to the other suggestions but wanted to say what a wonderful kind friend you are to this lady ?

Harrigran so sorry to hear your sad news but glad that your DD is able to be with her aunt.

Frustrated on your behalf GrndmaFrench I think the feelings in a situation like this,, and there will be many, are magnified because no-one knows what to do.
I am sure your calls and emails do matter. Just because you can't wade in and shake up the people who should or could be helping her.
Maybe her DC have their own worries. Have they really only got their eyes on her cottage?

I suggest some gloomy funny books for her to read such as Muriel Spark (Momento Mori) or Barbara Pym ( Quartet in Autumn).

Muriel Spark's novel may be about the various physical and mental afflictions of old age, but far from being depressing or morbid, it is a wonderfully funny and exhilarating read, argues David Lodge

Good morning everyone from an overcast North Wales. Bit late to the party, new to Gransnet. Normally an early riser finding it hard to wake up before 08:30 lately! But no where to go and no one to see so no rush!

Good morning all from an overcast Devon, at least it's fine
although we do desperately need rain.

Day at home planned, maybe get some time in the garden. However housework & the ironing beckon, you can write your name in the dust. Maybe after a I will find my get up & go which I fear has "got up & went" as my DF used to say

My condolences Harrigran

Small problem compared to others with real troubles, but my Garden Center trip is cancelled the rain is here and due to stay all day, GrandpaGravy does not do rain!!!! I am now decidedly fed up and weepy, yes I know it is silly but think the tears have been brewing for several weeks. Do not want to burden the AC as they have enough to cope with.

Sorry folks ?

Good Morning All x
First of all much love to Harrigran and Grandmafrench xx I feel your pain in these situations and sad times

Weather trying its best to brighten up. There's not even a breeze to remove the hanging cloud though there is some hope on the horizon.

I really do miss going to the supermarket and choosing the many varieties that corner shops don't have. I've been used to having the " best " of everything and it's starting to affect me that I have to have what there is I'm not getting used to it tbh.

Yesterday, armed with a small list I went to the biggest corner shop and was told it was cash only, so I went to their cash machine----not working ! Post office still closed and their ATM has been empty for months. I had to make do with the smaller corner shop for a few purchases using my debit card and returned home quite miserable.

Getting to the bank has been an obstacle as it's either a bus or taxi and I'm not prepared to use either at the moment. I don't like pestering D because she's busy with the 3 children and can't really leave them. I've never been so hamstrung in all my life and it's not nice. Difficult when you're independent too, so frustration's setting in.

This is how I feel at the moment, it'd better improve as the day goes on ! Miserable brat that I am. I've got what I need but not what I want.

Just a bit of tidying up to do then cabbage, bacon and potatoes on todays menu for later.

Hope all of you are doing alright and keeping well. Stay safe whatever you do. xx These are horrible times.

Kate54 offers some good suggestions.

that should read "body" not "bide".

I am so sorry to read of your friends dilemma, grandmafrench and of your very understandable worry, frustration and anger. It is a terrible situation fir your friend to be in, and the only chinks seem to be your continued support (albeit from a distance) and the visit from the Covid support group. Would it be possible for them to visit again, do you think, and perhaps to intervene in some small way regarding her lack of medical support - they may know of a bide that could support your friend? ( I don't know if that's possible, of course, and may just be grasping at straws).

Harrigan I'm so sorry to read your sad news, too. You must feel so worried and helpless for your sister. It's a blessing that your daughter has been able to travel to Hamburg to offer support. Take care.

??

Condolences harrigran at this sad time ?

Very sad news Harrigran. I am so sorry and send my condolences to you and your family.

Good morning from grey and damp South Lincolnshire. Don’t normally post on here as so little happening but moved today by the post from powerless GrandmaFrench.
I would, actually, phone the GP, even though you are not family to express that you are seriously concerned.You never know, they may at least have good advice. The other options are to contact Age UK locally and the local authority social services duty officer who may also be able to help.
Finally, did you ever know any of her other friends and acquaintances at home?
It’s a terribly sad story and has certainly put my dull day into perspective. Good luck. This lady is lucky to have such a good friend.

Good morning all from a very wet Glasgow where it is pouring down now.

Possibly my 5th outing since mid March as I too have no notion to go anywhere there may be lots of people around.

My outing was to visit DD1 and DGDs. DD and I didn’t tell the girls I was coming and they squealed with excitement when they saw Granny sitting in the garden. It was so good to actually be with them and listen to what I missed so much, their non stop chatting and laughter. Weather permitting the next get together will be in our garden which DH has earmarked after looking at forecasts. ?

A day indoors means I should do some housework so I will have to find my get up and go at some point today. I’m in no rush. ?

Hope you are feeling ok today BlueSapphire just taking things as they come until you feel that little bit stronger will get you there. ?

Have the best day you can everyone and best wishes for those of you who are struggling just now.

Was up early to make some flapjack because two W.I. friends are calling in for a (slightly damp) garden coffee. I am pining for ordinary conversation and chat about something (anything!) which is not about DH’s medication, the state of his plumbing (dire) or what he will eat.

Like so many of us, I fear I am losing the ability to socialise at all!

Hello from the Wirral where the Weather is holding a promise of brightness. Task for today: to try to extract my blood test results from an overwhelmed NHS. NOT COVID-related but quite serious and requested on 21st May. NHS folk very sympathetic but hands tied by policy and no-one else interested. Illustrates the bigger picture. People in far worse situations than mine are unable to tap into the care needed because of Covid. Just saying.

Aw, Harrigran such sad news. I’m so sorry. xxxxx

Grandmafrench you are clearly very worried and angry for your friend and I feel your frustration at not being able to help her. What an awfully sad situation for her and sadly she is not alone in this. As others have said on other threads, I am glad that my mum had died well before this pandemic began.

Sorry too to hear about your BiL Harrigran