Je regrette a lot

Can you balance those things that plague you with good deeds you have done over the years. You must have some good points. Also remember that you can ask out loud for forgiveness, and express your regret.. Be kind to yourself as I'm sure you wouldn't have done these things if you were supported and cared for.

You need to brain dump these feelings. Best way is to write them all down with as much soul searching as possible. Think about why you did them - there are usually answers or reasons for the way we behave.

Then I suggest you burn them all.

You are not the same person now, so forgive the person you were for what ever happened back then.
Sometimes it helps to choose a time & a place ( perhaps a favourite place ) & think of yourself as physically letting go of the old you, acknowledge that some behaviours were not ideal & that you now realise you could or should have done things differently. I think it is fair to say so many of us wish we had done things differently on occasions.
I like this saying ‘ don’t judge yesterdays decision/choices / behaviours on today’s circumstances.. I hope it may help you too, best wishes .

Hi op.
Are you able to put right any of your wrongs?
I mean, can you apologise to the people you feel you’ve wronged?
Explain how much guilt you’re feeling and that you’re sorry?

Write letters to all the people you feel you may have wronged. Doesn't matter if these people are no longer on this earth, as you don't need to send the letters. Just write them, with love and care, apologising for anything you may have done to upset them. Tell them that if you could, you would turn back the clock and undo those things. Tell them you love them, and that you always loved them, even though it may not always have appeared that you did.

Read each letter through afterwards, out loud if you wish. It can be quite cathartic writing down our regret for past behaviour and apologising for it in this way. You can then destroy the letters.

Of course, if any of those you feel you have wronged are still living, and close to you, you might want to talk to them and let them know how the incidents have been haunting you.

It sounds as though you would really benefit from some CBT therapy, if you have got yourself into the mindset of feeling guilty?

We have all done things we regret, as in the confession 'we have done those things we ought not to have done, we have not done those things we ought to have done, and there is no health in us' but it isn't helpful to keep dwelling on those things. If you are a church member, your clergy will help, if not, CBT would help you to forgive yourself and not keep following the same thought processes?

Maybe think about the saying, “ When I knew better, I did better” . Was it Maya Angelou ? Can’t remember.
Life is about learning from our mistakes. Pity we can’t go round again.