Gransnet forums

Chat

Overseas Grans

(46 Posts)
Newatthis Mon 15-Jun-20 10:29:16

Hi all you overseas grans (including me) who seldom get to cuddle or see their grandchildren. Who throughout this virus has had to carry on as normal with Facetime/Skype etc grandparenting and who may not get to see our grandchildren in a long, long time until it's safe to travel on flights or indeed when countries allow UK nationals in again. I'm sure many of you may have had trips booked to go and visit your families but now cannot. I have a new grandchild and don't know when I will get to meet her which upsets me as I had flights booked to be there for the birth. To all other grans and people who have said to us - 'well nothing much has changed for you'. It has, we cannot see our families at the moment even if we wanted to, not even for a social distancing get together in the garden. To all of us overseas grans who are in this situation the time will come when we can see our families and our grandchildren and let's hope it's not too long.

Jill0753 Tue 16-Jun-20 14:03:10

I’m another overseas grannie and it is hard. We had to cancel our trip in April- we were going over with our daughter and her family so it would have been one of the few times we would have all been together. My daughter lives 220miles away but we are going to meet halfway this weekend.
I don’t like people suggesting that this lockdown is alright for me as I’m used to it. I may be used to it but that doesn’t mean that I like it. The not knowing when I will see my son again makes it even harder. We are all very grateful for FaceTime etc but you can’t reach out and touch them. I think that everyone understands the value of a hug now.

cupcake1 Tue 16-Jun-20 14:40:37

flowers for all you overseas grandparents. 2DC and 2DGC live in the same area as us while the other DS lives 250 miles away and is shielding due to his Crohn’s disease. His DD’s live 50 miles from us and grown up, we haven’t seen them since last November. Although it’s hard they are in this country and will be much easier to see once it is deemed safe to do so. We have seen our 2 local DGD’s several times and whilst we don’t kiss or cuddle them just seeing them in the flesh is wonderful. I don’t think there is any comparison between those with family here and those with overseas families, regardless of distance there is far more chance of meeting up than those whose families are abroad. Even though I am not able to see DS1 yet I still consider myself lucky in comparison.

Phoebes Tue 16-Jun-20 15:42:18

We have a daughter living in New York with her husband and baby son who has just had his first birthday. We haven’t seen him in the flesh since he was 3weeks old. They were due to come over for Easter but of course they couldn’t. We Skype every week, but it isn’t the same. No cuddles!
My step daughter and her family live in Copenhagen, grandchildren aged 7 and 5. We can’t go and see them either. We are fit and well and would love to see t
hem all, but we aren’t allowed to.

Mrst1405 Tue 16-Jun-20 16:25:50

I have 2 gds in the uk and I live in Spain. I am estranged 12 years from my dd so have never met them. Even though I've never met them , I find it very hard. It was a 2nd birthday this weekend for one of them and somehow it's really plunged me ino a bit of a pit. Probably with all the tv about grandparents meeting up. I have a God as well. I've met her and get pictures, that's not as bad.

Patticake123 Tue 16-Jun-20 17:51:25

It’s horrible isn’t it. I should have been on a flight returning from USA as I write this. I was really looking forward to being with my two grandchildren in NY but it wasn’t to be. I do hope a vaccine is found soon or I fear it will be a very long time before I see them again.

Elizabethregina Tue 16-Jun-20 18:09:14

My daughter is expecting my 1st grandchild in August. She lives nearby but I don’t know when I’ll be able to cuddle the baby as I’m shielding. I’m hoping that a vaccine is developed soon. This will help all of us. Until then it’s tough.

Lucca Tue 16-Jun-20 18:56:50

Sorry but I agree, it is not the same if your grandchildren live in the uk. Or even france Spain etc. When this is over it will take a few hours to get to see them.
Try 24 hours and more! Not to mention the cost. Please please try a little understanding !

BlueBelle Tue 16-Jun-20 19:09:07

I m an overseas granny but they are all grown now 14,17,19,20,23 so I am well used to not seeing them and they re used to not seeing me I m 75 and not sure if I ll do the long journey to NZ one more time or not it’s a massive journey I will see the three younger ones as theyre in Europe so I usually see them once or twice a year I will miss my eldests wedding in NZ and my son had tickets for him and my daughter in law to visit next month so that’s gone on hold for at least a year if not two but that’s life and I m fairly patient

It’s very different if you ve got little ones

aonk Tue 16-Jun-20 20:19:21

I’m finding the situation regarding seeing GC difficult even though they live nearby. Reading the posts on here has really put things into perspective for me and I won’t complain again. My heart goes out to those of you whose AC and GC live in other countries or on other continents. I can’t say that I understand how you feel but I know there must be pain and sadness in your lives sometimes and I admire your bravery and resilience.

Coppernob Tue 16-Jun-20 21:05:11

My daughter lives in Italy with her partner and two of my 8 granddaughters. They are 5 and 7. We were due to be with them in April to celebrate my 70th birthday, and they usually come to England for at least 2 weeks in the summer. Both these have had to be cancelled, and I’m really missing seeing the girls (and their parents). We last saw them at New Year. We FaceTime regularly and I play on Caribu with the girls, but it’s just not the same as being with them in person. and oh, how I long to be able to give all 9 of my grandchildren a cuddle. Whether we get to Italy, or they to us, later in the year remains to be seen. The not knowing is so hard to deal with.

Nannan2 Tue 16-Jun-20 21:19:36

HAZBEEN- the 'new rules' allow a bubble formed between a single parent family& another as a form of support so if you can travel you can go see your Daughter& grandson!Hope you can arrange it soonsmile As for OP, i have a GD due any day at only 34 weeks as shes not doing well in the womb, and then she'll be in neonatal care, for a long while, just as her previous siblings, and she's a rainbow baby, so you can imagine how worried i am for her& my DiL? I wont be allowed in to see her, even i travelled the 72 miles, and even her parents can only go in one at a time apparently.The other 3 children will not be allowed to visit either,nor visit their mum.sad

CanadianGran Tue 16-Jun-20 21:35:10

I do agree that it is harder to accept the isolation for those with overseas grandchildren. I feel very badly for you all.

For those of us with GC in the same country, but distant, there will come a time where we can travel within the country to visit. We at least have a timeline to look forward to.

My daughter and family live within our province, but a 1600 km drive! That's 20 hours. I know it's hard for those in the UK to realize how large Canada is. I would normally visit 2-3 times a year (fly down), but of course could not this Easter. We are slowly opening up, and plan to drive down at the end of July. But I have that to look forward to.

For those with overseas families, my heart goes out to you, and hope that you can stay strong and enjoy the modern wonders of technology to help stay close.

Nannan2 Tue 16-Jun-20 21:38:52

Lets face it, with the current situation it makes no difference whether us grandparents are 7000 or just 7 miles away really, does it?? We still cant go in, mingle, hug, kiss, play games, and all the happy things we long to do.hmm sad

Lucca Tue 16-Jun-20 22:33:07

Nannan I’m sorry but yes it does make a huge difference.
As I said before. When restrictions are all listed it will still be incredibly difficult to arrange to see family who live in Australia its a long long flight t costs a fortune and can only happen maybe once a year at best. Is that comparable to family even a few hundred miles away ? Seriously?

Longdistancegrnny Tue 16-Jun-20 23:00:56

I would echo what Lucca says - it is very different Nannan 2! As my DD1 in Australia said, up until now we always knew that we could be there in a few days if there was some sort of emergency (either in UK or Australia) but now that is impossible. We are very good at keeping in touch, use Skype and Caribu plus Whats App sharing pictures almost daily, but no chance now of planning a visit and having a meet up to look forward to. To add further complications DD2 was supposed to be getting married in December - this has been put back a year as she refuses to marry without her sister and family being here, so fingers crossed that flights are back on the agenda by Dec 2021.

BlueSky Wed 17-Jun-20 00:48:39

Longdistancegranny I've made myself stop dwelling on the possibility of an emergency during this time. It was just too stressful to contemplate, hopefully all will be well and we might even be able to plan a trip again.

SueDonim Wed 17-Jun-20 00:58:38

I agree, it’s very different when you have family in another country. I’ve a GC about 80 miles away who I’ve seen once since March. My two GC in London we haven’t seen since October (they had planned to come up at Easter).

However, my son in the US, I have no expectation of seeing him anytime soon. I’ve set my mind to accepting not being able to visit until 2021, by which time it will be almost two years since our last trip. In that time he’ll have moved hundreds of miles across America to a different state, too.

GardeningGrandma Wed 17-Jun-20 20:38:00

I know how you feel. Although I dont live far from my daughter I have yet to meet my new grandchildren. My daughter gave birth to twins the week we went into lockdown. They were 5 weeks premature so had to be in neonatal for the first two weeks before they went home. Thankfully they only live a few miles away from me so my husband drove me to their house and we stood in the porch to see them. I have two other grandchildren who I have only seen from across the garden. All us grandparents have to stay strong and patient. Then when we get to see our grandchildren give them the biggest cuddle we can.

Newatthis Fri 19-Jun-20 11:32:58

I'm glad I brought this up and know that i am not alone in my feelings. Thank you all for your kind words and comments.

Newatthis Tue 23-Jun-20 13:09:01

I have a 4 hour journey to the airport, a 2 hour wait at the airport, a 12 hour flight (that is if they would let UK national ins) and then a one hour onward journey so it's not really the same as being able to see grandchildren at the bottom of the garden. All this is under normal non lockdown circumstances, However, at the moment, as a UK national, I am not allowed to enter the US and don't know when restrictions will be lifted. It would be a blessing to be able to see my GSs at the bottom of the garden.