Now I understand why families shouldn't meet up.

We had our first meet up last week on the beach. I went ahead & put a big rug in the middle then used a 4 meter diameter to place grandson's footie flourescent coloured pitch markers at 2 meter spots in a circle (6 in all) we brought our own chairs, flasks of beverage & I had extra masks & face shields for those who wanted. It felt okay. I wondered if I had gone over the top a bit but people seemed to appreciate they were not being compromised. I made it clear I would do this beforehand in an email. Those who had declared in the past 'I'm not going to social distance' knew to either agree to the boundaries or not come.

Agree with those who believe we are now in a situation where we all need to do our own risk-assessments taking into account the risk of COVID from which only a small minority actually die, and the risk to mental health of isolation from loved ones - I have seen my daughter and son-in-law and two grandchildren throughout this pandemic but initially no proximity - gradually daughter came in the house with groceries and then grandson came round to do some gardening and then son-in-law came to help and granddaughter offered to do heavy cleaning work - I walk to theirs and sit in the garden but on three occasions we have eaten Sunday lunch there - so why behave this way ? Simply because I am a social psychologist by first career and a psychotherapist by second and I am sensible enough to make an assessment of the situation - nobody from my daughter’s house is in close contact with anybody else - children not at school, son in law working from home from day one, daughter only ever using deliveries from farms and fairies and baking own bread and cakes - they haven’t seen anybody else in close proximity and neither have we so were in a two household bubble that doesn’t leak anywhere - this has kept us all sane and reduced the inherent stress of separation. One thing we must all avoid is agoraphobia and unfortunately many people have become so used to being closeted away from the outside world that such fears are arising.

Unfortunately annepl I think your problems were caused by a generational divide now. Many of our AC seem to think it is all over and once the pubs and restaurants open it will get even worse. There didn't seem to be many over 65s in the shop queues last Monday. We see family in the garden spaced out and nobody has asked for a drink yet. Each of us has to make our own risk assessment now. Keep hand washing!

I think that retired people do have the luxury of choice in this matter. If they wish to keep apart from others indefinitely then that’s their choice. Please not that I’m not including the vulnerable and shielded here as their situation is very different.
Some people have less choice because of their jobs and the need to shop for essentials. My husband is semi retired and is currently working from home but it won’t be long before he is asked to go back to his office. My AC have little choice either now that some restrictions have been eased.
All life, even staying at home, has risks and each person must make their own decisions about how much risk to allow into their lives. Please remember that we don’t all have the luxury of choosing the level of risk we’re exposed to.

I do sympathise with you. I do think it's something that has to be thought about carefully. Looking across the forums here,as in other aspects of life,people can have very different ideas on how things should be done. I can see problems if one group member is of the opinion that the virus is over hyped etc.
It is a case of assessing individual risk. I think the biggest problem at the moment is finding honest information to base that risk on! The government seems to be galloping towards a July 4th free for all,reductions in 2 metre ruling etc. I would love to believe them. Deaths although reducing still there. Statistics on testing bit of a grey area on which the government doesnt have a good track record. In the back of my mind I have images of crowded beaches/shops/ protests and I'm wondering when we will see the effect of that,if at all.
I'm prepared to be cautious for a few more months,if the current apparent decline continues that will be brilliant. Until then its 2 metre rule in garden with one or two people. No one comes indoors and bring own cups etc.
I feel frustrated by younger people who flout the rules but understand why.

Looking on bright side-Good news at last! My youngest GD arrived on friday morning- a bit early (34 wks) but not bad weight at 4lb 10.However shes in neo natal unit and she& my D-in-L are in hosp for a good bit yet.But only my sons allowed in,(once a day i think) not even her siblings, or to see their mum, and i certainly wont be seeing her anytime soon only on facetime& photos.But its been a very fraught pregnancy after previous tragedy so im just very glad shes here, safe and well (so far ?) & that neo-natal staff are keeping a careful eye on her ?

Congratulations on the safe arrival of your new little granddaughter Nannan2

Wishing good health and happiness to you all ?

My daughter (the only 1 who lives not far) said we could 'form a bubble' as I'm a single parent& my youngest only just turned 17..she's right, in theory, but I'm so fraught with worry over it all I'd not like to take any more risks at moment..

Aww, thank you Grannynannywanny

We have a family business so in theory seven of us can be in the office together but not in our homes..............?

Nannan2 congratulations on the new addition to your family ???

We met together in the local park last weekend (3 families). We all brought our own food and drink and the young children perfectly understood they could not come near us.
It was easy to play hide & seek and kicking a ball about and we all sat 2m apart. Luckily the weather was perfect. Our garden is too small to allow people to socially distance enough. I also meet 2 friends every week. We email each other and choose a different park. We bring our own drinks and stay 2m apart. All depends on good weather though.

My OH has his birthday today ,we had planned a bar b que but the weather has put paid to it.My solution to the cups and plates was a bucket with a mild bleach solution in it so used crockery and cutlery can be dropped straight in and left for a while .I have an old baby bath too that was brought down to use.there will only be my son ,his partner and two children and my OH's best friend and his wife so not too hard to keep distance or avoid ,I have disposable bamboo cutlery in the house all the time so it can be thrown away or bleached too

Just use common sense...you were outside, washed your hands after they left etc...

Congratulations on your new GD NANNAN2hopefully she wont need to be in special care for too long .Its a very stressful time for new mums when a baby needs SCBU and I hope your S and DIL are coping as well as they can .Best wishes to them all

Thank you GrannyGravy13

I understand your concerns about having family round. After 15 weeks of lock down and being very conscientious about social distancing, masks, gloves and washing hands we finally felt confident to arrange DD, and 2 GCs to visit us in the garden. This meeting had been postponed twice due to rain but finally it happened and everyone was excited. All preparations were carefully made and the day was a lovely and enjoyable until my DD ex husband arrive to pick up his son. He had been told to phone before arriving so GS could meet him on the village green. Never listening to anyone ever, he turned up in the garden, shook hands with my 70 year old husband, and had a nice cosy chat for ten minutes as if life was normal.

I was in the back garden keeping a watchful eye on little Gs on the climbing frame so was not aware of this instinct until everyone had gone. I was so angry, how stupid and selfish are these men; both equally to blame. My husband couldn't understand my anger as he was only being polite and thought as GC was going to stay with ex it was okay. My DD said she was unaware that they shook hands. It was a pantomime after all.

I pointed out to them both the consequences of this reckless and thoughtless action. Not just because of the danger to us, being in the vulnerable group and we are 8 times more likely to catch the virus then his 15 year old GCS. It also meant that we no couldn't see our DS' family because they have a new baby and we have now to quarantine ourselves and house until our son is happy that it is safe.

Once calm and reflecting on this dilemma I saw a glimmer of hope on the horizon. After putting up with DD's ex for 13 years he is now banned completely from our house. As we live in the middle of these two houses it was convenient for each to pick up and drop off GS from us and it meant we would see GS. However, as he got older this became more difficult. So in a way the selfish behaviour of DD ex and the quarantine restrictions has done us a favour. They will now have to make their own arrangements and we literally can wash our hands of him.

I feel awful to be honest, because we only have distancing in this country, never had many restrictions.We have had a few people at a time visiting, and have sat in the garden distancing, however I have never thought about people bringing their own cups etc, what a good idea,we have hand satiniser all over the house in case anyone uses the bathroom.Our Government started things far too late, cafes bars restaurants have always been open, people use public transport, Schools have been open, although they have finished for this term, I dread it from now on as so many more people will be about. The population here is just ten million, and we have had five thousand deaths, now the government is wakening up, but too late.

Thanks Paddyanne we are pretty much getting used to life with babies in neo natal unit now in our family- my 2 youngest were extremely prem,- as were my eldest sons 2nd&3rd child, but then nxt one they lost at 27 wks, so now their new arrival has given us all something to be grateful for and to be cheerful again But this virus makes it all the more worrying even in hospital, and I'm sure they can't wait to get her safely home.

We have had family into our garden. We make them coffee and give them cake, but we wash hands first. The used crockery goes straight in the dishwasher when they’ve left, and then hands washed again. Dishwasher washes at 60 degrees centigrade, it kills all germs.

Where do you live Joesoap? If you dont mind me asking? i thought all countries had been put into lockdown back in march?

We live in Sweden,and its about the only country who didnt enforce lock down, I wish they had done, our neighbours Norway, Denmark, Finland wont let us in to their countries, and I dont blame them.
Up to now our Government think they have done the right thing!

I had a lovely surprise when DD knocked on the door last Monday. DGC were primed not to come close and it was lovely to see them. Only trouble was not cuddling. DGD used to have a sleepover every week and when her lip wobbled as we were saying goodbye, I was undone!

Nannan 2 - congrats on the birth and many years of contact to look forward to in the future.

Just to comment - in my previous post, I mentioned that those totally isolating were maybe no building up anti-bodies. No, I did not mean ab's to this particular virus - but the general ab's that we normally make to colds, flu, etc. etc.

Do not get so paranoid over one particular virus to forget the 'normal' thousands of death each year caused by other conditions.

Thanks Franbern, and thank you to all whom ever send their congratulations, we do appreciate it!Now, id better go get some knitting done..i need tinier mittens