Dilemma!

Why can’t he tell her himself ?

I have over 30 plants in pots , including the two your sister gave you as a gift , almost any plant will do well in a pot , just get the right size so can spread I bit ,at least they are contained then and can’t grow too big .

That said, I personally think it be very unkind if you were to give the plants away, your sister could be very hurt and I’m sure you wouldn’t want that done to her as she was only showing you how great full she was as you looked after her dogs .

I also feel your husband is being totally unreasonable and selfish in what he says about the plants . When your married everything is shared and discussed as a couple , so if it were myself I’d certainly put him in his place , if he’s like that with the garden I’d hate to think what he’s like in other departments. Speak up and tell him what happens in the household is to be equally thought about and shared .

Firstly tell your husband it's your home, your garden, your life too. Marriage is about sharing and compromise surely. Then put them into pots.

I also wonder how controlling and territorial he is in other areas of life. Then have a proper talk to him about his whole attitude.

Your sister was being kind, best not to throw it into her face as your H would like to do.

They're both lovely plants in the right setting but I, like your DH, wouldn't want them in my garden. They wouldn't, "fit" as I have a very, "English country garden" cottage type garden. I wouldn't even want them in pots to be honest.
It's really hard when someone gives you display items for your home that, "don't fit" but you can't shove a shrub in the cupboard and remember to take it out when the giver visits!
Does your DH do all the gardening and does your DSis know this? If so, it's her faux pas so no need to feel embarassed and she shouldn't react sensitively.
I think the best thing is to come clean and explain that, whilst you're very grateful for her generosity, they won't fit in with your garden.
I think you need to know someone really well before you buy them display items for home and garden and being related is often not enough.
If someone in the family does me a favour and I want to buy them a gift I'm really blunt, "now you're having a present whether you like it or not and my budget is £x so give me a choice of three items so I can," surprise" you with something I know you'll really like or we'll both risk being awfully disappointed" ?

Sounds like DH and me - whatever I suggest for the garden - there's no room! Agree try the pots (if hubby will allow) and see what happens!

Your DS has probably thought hard about a suitable gift. If she knows you have a nice garden she probably thought it was an ideal present. Do not offend her by speaking about it or giving them away. Just pop them in the pots and give them the best shot. As another poster said if they don't thrive you have done the best you can in the situation.

annep1

^He now wants me to tell her we don't want them.^

I don't think I would react very nicely to being told this. He doesn't sound very considerate of your feelings.

I agree, annep

I would buy very large pots and keep the shrubs in pots and enjoy them. It's your garden too!

We have several shrubs in pots, in fact some prefer being in pots as they need a more acid soil than our garden soil.

Find this whole conundrum rather interesting. As a gardener, I would always be able to find a spot for a new plant. Whether or not it would be a species I choose to own is another matter. But THREE plants seems a bit OTT for me. I wonder if your sister is actually a gardener herself, the reason for her selection and is she aware of your husband's preciousness over 'his' territory (jeepers!). A huge generalisation but, gardeners tend to be a more gentle easygoing species. Seems obvious you are close to your sister. Have a word with her privately and tell her the truth. Love conquers all.

Thoughtless and very OTT to buy 3 potentially large shrubs for someone else's garden. Shove em in an unloved corner and if its mentioned say that something about your garden didn't agree with them. An annual or something that has really been thought about how it will fit in OK. But this just shouts 'more money than sense'.

Why hurt your sister's feelings, just because your husband is rude?
Totally agree with annifrance.

Wilko do large inexpensive pots. I bought two online earlier this year because I was also given some acid loving plants and we have alkaline soil.

I would definitely put in pots, you can put anything in them and move around the garden once the colour has faded in that area. Think it is lovely that your sister has acknowledged your kindness to be honest. Pots don't have to be expensive at all, try one of the pre-loved or recycle ads on the net or buy from one of the cheaper shops.

sandelf

Thoughtless and very OTT to buy 3 potentially large shrubs for someone else's garden. Shove em in an unloved corner and if its mentioned say that something about your garden didn't agree with them. An annual or something that has really been thought about how it will fit in OK. But this just shouts 'more money than sense'.

3 shrubs?

It would cost a darned sight more to have put the dog in kennels for three months.

It's a lovely thought, grannyrebel
We have shrubs, roses etc that people have given us and we can always find a spot for them in a pot or garden bed.

DH is particular in what gets planted in the garden

You live there as well so why does he have all the say about the garden?
Get rid of the husband and plants the shrubs! I would put them in large planters but I wouldn’t give them away. Give DH away!!!!

???

I would certainly let her know that you won't be able to use the plants and explain about the size and the issue with them not doing well in pots. If you don't keep the plants and you don't tell her it's probably going to be embarrassing if she comes to visit or stay and asks how the plants are doing. I feel it's better to be upfront about it; tell her you appreciate the gesture but the plants aren't suitable for your garden and your garden scheme.

Agree about the pots, but I have a certain sympathy with the OP's husband. It can't be easy to find room for 3 large shrubs at 0 notice.
In fact I'd go so far as to say I think it rather an inconsiderate present out of the blue. I take the most interest in the garden here and plan it carefully. I'm not certain I wouldn't let drop a sharp word if DH's sister rocked up one day with 2 pieris and a camellia for which there is no room. ??.

grannyrebel, Live up to your name. Do what you want with the shrubs. Enjoy them and tell your DH it's your garden as well and you have no intention of upsetting your sister.

Camellias can stand hard pruning so right after flowering, cut it back as much as you like, even sawing into the trunk. Give it a good feed. That should keep it small, healthy and flowering. I believe they need ericaceous compost. John Innes would be most suitable (I think), being soil based.

I can’t speak for pieris but as the attraction is the new growth, I’d try cutting that back too after flowering.

After a few seasons, if they are really not fitting in to the grand scheme, you could quietly lose them without hurting your sister’s feelings.

What is your soil like? Both these plants are acid lovers so if you don’t have acid soil you would need to grow them in ericaceous soil in containers. Camellias flower early in the year when there is nothing else much about and are really lovely.

I think it would be unkind to return these shrubs or give them away but I understand your difficulty. You husband is being very intransigent. Surely you are allowed to have some plants of your own?

I suppose ours is not that carefully planned!

Having poor chalky soil I have grown plants that like acid soil like camellias in pots of ericatious soil very successfully. If you do not wish them to become too big restrict the size of pot. I have a 35 year old Bay tree which is less than three feet high in a pot. However it does need a lot of watering.

We have pieris in pots, they do much better than in our garden soil.
The camellia was in a pot but is now in the ground and gets top dressed with ericaceous compost occasionally. However, a friend has a wonderful one in a large pot near her front door and it does much better than mine.

Your sister has obviously given it some thought and coming to the conclusion you love your garden and can see them grow and flourish over the years. I’d be very hurt if you gave them away. I agree with suggestions of putting them in pots in the front garden and keeping them trimmed. I don’t understand why your husband has the monopoly on the garden surely he has it in him to realise she meant well and to give them back to her is mean spirited.

I think everyone’s pretty right here. just tell your husband not to be silly.