Do you ever feel

My mum died 5 weeks ago. I'm not dealing with it very well. I didn't get to see her before she went. We had a very small funeral, no wake. I'm now back home hundreds of miles away from my siblings feeling very lost and alone.
So yes, I'd love to hug my mum ❤

My mum was 91 when she died and had had dementia for a few years leading up to her passing. In her final year and especially in the last few months she would constantly ask for her mum. The staff at the care home told me it’s normal behaviour towards the end and most of the residents, male and female, want their mums.

I found it incredibly sad as my grandma had passed away 40 years previously but my mum couldn’t understand why she wasn’t coming to look after her.

If I'm honest I have never really missed my mum in that way but my hope is that my daughters will miss me for support, help, hugs and good advice which I always try to give now.

Really miss my Mum. She died 39 years ago now though, and Dad followed two years after. I'm 72 now, so already 4 years older than she was when she died. I had a lovely childhood. There were 3 of us girls and money was tight, but we were definitely loved

That's very sad Flakesdayout We can never know what some people go through to make them the way they are. My mother had a terrible life and I'm sure I didn't know the half of it, although I did see her being beaten. She died at 58 when I was 23. My youngest sister was only 14 at the time.

V3ra it sounds a lot like my situation when Mam was alive. Although there was 3 lads and 3 girls and I was the youngest in the family. One sister was the stand out favourite and could do no wrong. Mam used to babysit for her all the time, go on holidays and social events with their family etc. Growing up she was never a "loving" person who would give you affection or tell you she loved you. Yet when said sister passed away at the age of 50 Mam's world fell apart, but I was the one to pick up the pieces and as she got older took over her finances, hospital visits, did shopping, took her out etc. My own daughter lives five minutes up the road and due to Covid I haven't seen the GC since March in person, she says we are close but I haven't spoken to her on the phone for two weeks. Yes she sends me messages on the phone or facebook but it's not the same. I look after a bedridden hubby with dementia so a bit of support wouldn't go amiss.

Even although my mum was 100 when she died and I was 67 I still miss her. I learnt so much from her as I was the youngest of 3 girls. We spent a lot of time together and as I'm now almost 80 I still remember and think about her every day. I just hope my daughters and granddaughters remember me so fondly when I'm gone.

...that should read 12 years dead!0

I sometimes wake up and momentarily think “ I’ll call mum today”.... it takes me a second or two to remember! 1/ years now, and I still ‘fail to temember’ she’s dead!

My mum died 8 years ago last month aged 92 and I don't really miss the person she became in the last few years of her life as she had dementia but I definitely miss the mum I had before that. Neither parents were huggy, kissy people and I don't ever remember being told they loved me (although I know they did) but as an only child we were very close. After they retired they moved round the corner from us and we all spent many happy times together as our children grew up. I used to go shopping with her every week which I loved. Her favourite pastime was to buy something then take it back so it was like shopping twice for her

Sadly I don't have daughters to spend time with like that and my DIL's both live too far away

I had a hit/miss relationship with my mam but I still miss her like mad but I miss the mam that I had before I was 18. I also miss my dad who died when I was 19 years old and I feel like I have been robbed.

My mam was a strong woman who was a nurse during WW2 and then had to give up nursing to look after my gran, my dad and me. I think all of that made her bitter in later life.

Oh yes, miss my mum sooo much always will, if I could be half the woman my mum was I’d be happy, she meant the world to me

My best friends are my "mum". Same as many of you my mother wasnt maternal...best not say more as it would be a book lol

A hug and some for those who miss their mums. Also for those who don’t, which is equally sad. .
I miss mine, she had a hard life which meant she wasn’t brave enough to leave a bully of a husband, then shortly after he died she developed dementia, so was sadly unable to enjoy a few peaceful years with us and her grandchildren.

I'm just reminded of some lines from a song: "You patched me up, and sent me on my way".

That's what my mum did.

Its 24 years today my mum died I was 40. I miss her so much.i was going through all my photos yesterday, and was remembering the laughs and good times. I just hope my own children think the same about me. I haven't seen my youngest daughter and her family since before lockdown as they don't live near. And I keep telling her I miss her and can't easily to hug her. She says the same so I must be doing something right.

I'm like V3ra. I do fancy the idea of a kindly understanding mum doing a bit of 'there, there' and 'how clever you are' However, that's not the mum I had - I didn't know til she was very old that before me, she lost twin boys prem. But it does explain why I was never quite good enough. Life eh?

I can really understand how you feel, MissAdventure. I was never “huggy “ with either of my parents and my younger sister got most of mum’s care. However, that’s how mum was but I know that she loved and I do miss that : especially when feeling low.

Have to say No. My mum wasn't the warm cuddly type and she died when I was 30. I had left home at 18 so only had intermittent contact when I travelled home to see family. I fear I too am not a warm cuddly mother probably due to not being aware that type existed.

I can share mine but you have to pitch in and help look after her. These days I rely on my DD for my mothering.

It wasn't until my Mum died (2017) that I discovered what she had really gone through in her life as she never really spoke about it, and reading medical letters was quite shocking. She had post partum depression after the birth of my brother and he had to be put into care. She had ECT treatment and a lobotomy. I remember as a young child her having a bandage around her head but was told that it was an operation. I can now understand her mood swings but I just wish her and my Dad had spoken about it. She often talked about her upbringing as her mum died when she was 3 and her she lived with her Uncle and I think depression was just part of her life. So yes I do miss her as at times she would be lovely, she doted on my children and was always there if I needed anything. I would have loved her to have been at their weddings, she would have been so proud. With dementia she lost all her low moods and became a happy woman, she was always pleased to see me and called me by another name but 90% of the time she was happy. On a bad day she could be quite nasty but it was soon forgotten. As others have said I would sometimes just like to be able to pop round and have a mum moment. ( and Dad too)

I’m in the position of having to look after my very elderly mother. I do wish my husband would make a bit more of a fuss over me but I doubt that he will change now

I absolutely adored my mum and loved spending time with her. She did without all the time when we were kids to make sure we had a lovely a Christmas and birthdays. We were in no way spoilt, with four of us in the 50s& 60s times were hard. I was going through my divorce and I know she was really worried about me, when I lost her due to a very bad fall and my world just fell apart. I would love to have one day with her to let her see I'm doing fine and to give her a massive hug just to thank her for being such a wonderful mum.

My mum lived with me till she died in her early 60s
Now I am elderly recently widowed and been ill in bed
I so wish she was still here physically

My mum died 25 years years ago, at the age of 72 - I was in my 30s then - and I still miss her so much. There are times when I wish I had the comfort of her.