Did you, have you, would you change your surname?

Having been married and divorced twice . I kept married name the first time didn't want the kids to different .
Second time I wanted no reminder so changed to maiden name as soon as possible.
I am actually planning to get married again next year and hope to keep my name with him also using it .just feels right

When I married I added husband's name to mine. It was rather long so eventually dropped his name. After 25 years we separated and divorced. I love the sir name I was born with. Even if I married again I would not change it. I don't understand the reasoning behind name changing anyway. You are not your husband's possession. Our children have my name as a middle name.

I like the Israeli tradition where the new husband tags his new wife’s surname in front of his, so both have kind of met in the middle.

I couldn't wait to get rid of my maiden name because it was so awful so I'm glad that rule/tradition was in place years ago. I kept my married surname on divorce. One of daughters kept her maiden name on marriage and the children have her surname too as her husband's surname is not great. My other unmarried daughter gave her child the father's surname and, if they decide to get married, she will also take his name so she can have the same surname as her children. There doesn't seem to be any 'normal' nowadays.

EllanVannin I used to work with someone named Sidebotham. I remarked that she must have loved him to take on such a name. She replied that her maiden name was Shuflebottom! Out of the frying pan.........!

I never even considered keeping my maiden name when I married, 57 years ago. The idea of living with a man with different surnames! Oh, the scandal!

My DD married a Peruvian with a double-barrelled surname - the norm in Peru. She kept her maiden name. Her DD was given the first part of Dad’s surname.

While waiting for my divorce to be finalised I had all the forms filled in, envelopes addressed ready to send off to get back to my maiden name. I had such a horrible marriage I didn't want to keep his surname. I've still a lot of friendships from way back and we always use our maiden names if we are speaking about each other rather than their married names when I think about it lol.

I have the old-fashioned view that when you marry, two become one, therefore share one surname, it just seems logical to me, especially if you marry in church and your father 'gives' you away, so you don't use his surname any more. I do know of professional women who use their maiden name for their profession and their married surname for everything else. What is the point of being married if you are going to share everything except a surname, especially when children come along, just having one family name. I don't care for the double-barrelled surname trend, but then, I am old-fashioned.

I considered changing my surname when I got divorced (knee jerk reaction) but when I wrote a list of all the organisations that would need to be told, and the cost of a new passport etc, I decided to keep my married name. Also, creepily, my maiden name is the same as my ex-husband’s girlfriend’s.

I retained my maiden name for work and used my husband’s surname for family matters after we had children, including my passport, by which time I never travelled abroad for work. Then, out of the blue I had to go to Germany on business and my secretary booked the flights. Got as far as the gate to board when bingo, it was revealed the names on my boarding card and passport didn’t correlate. Fortunately my driving licence (still in my maiden name) saved the day, although I then spent my whole time in Germany wondering if I’d be able to get back!

I changed my name when I married my first husband. When I divorced I kept his name. When I remarried I kept my first husbands name just because I preferred that surname. My second husband wasn’t bothered by that in the slightest.

I've always kept my "maiden" name and I've been happily married to DH for well over thirty years. (It doesn't bother him one jot!) What surprises people is just how long ago I did this: it's much more common now.

I changed my name back to my own name after both divorces. I recently changed to my mothers name when I found out what a deeply unpleasant person my father was, and that’s an understatement.

I loved my maiden name but took my ex surname to make it easy with kids but as soon as I knew I was divorcing I changed my name back by Deed Poll and will always keep it even if I was to remarry. I love it always have done and always will.

I took my husbands name when I married, then when I divorced him I kept his name whilst the children were at school to save confusion. As soon as my youngest child left school I changed back to my maiden name, my youngest child (then 17) also changed his surname to mine (he had never seen his father so didn't feel a connection to his father). Then when my middle son got married he took his Wife's surname as her father had been like a father to him since he was a teenager. So out of three sons only one still bears his fathers surname!

I reverted to my original surname a few years after I divorced when I changed teaching jobs. I didn't have any red tape as women changing their surnames is pretty common. Very few, if any, of my female divorced friends have.

I didn’t like my maiden name, certainly did not want to retain my married name once I’d divorced him ... so legally changed my name to my beloved Nan's surname. So every time I say my name, I think of her ....

I changed my name back to maiden name after divorce and when they reached 18 DS and DD changed to it as well. I’m unlikely to marry again, but if I did I would consider a double barrel.

I would have liked to revert to my maiden name (which was Valentine), when I got divorced over 40 years ago, but didn’t as I had young children and felt it would be difficult if we had different surnames. If I thought then what I think now I would have changed. Times and opinions change.

Got married young and took husbands name. Marriage failed but kept name. Met the man I have spent 23 years with. Got married 7 years ago but have kept my previous (married) surname. Everything is in that name. It was mainly for professional reasons. I respond to either name now and so does hubby respond to Mr Mollie. Only tricky thing is I received a cheque in my husbands name and couldn’t put it into my bank. I would have to change everything and I didn’t want to do that. Apart from a marriage certificate there is nothing to say we are married ie bills passports etc. SiL changed his surname on marriage to another name within his family as neither him or DD liked his then current surname. Think it caused some waves initially but 10 years on And now with children it’s just their family name. The name they chose would have died out and now with boys it will continue which is a bit of a win!

An interesting topic, OP. I had a very common maiden name and DH’s is unusual. I seriously considered keeping mine, but have grown used to “ours” over time and it seemed logical for all of us (DH, me and the offspring) to have the same name. DD1 has kept her maiden name through two marriages and DD2 has a flexible approach, using her maiden name professionally and her husband's when she’s dealing with their children’s school and other things that she shares with them (GP etc). DS’s wife has chosen to take his name so that the whole family have the same one, but both their sons have her maiden name as a middle name.

I think I’d still take DH’s name if we were getting married now. I’d have reverted to my maiden name, and so would my children, if we’d divorced when they were young, but I wouldn’t bother if we split up now.

I did find some family research much easier using the maternal surnames as they were far less common and often used as middle names in later generations as is/was normal in my part of Scotland .In doing it that way I found 4 extra generations on my fathers side of the family ,his male side were Irish and impossible to find as the names were so common in every generation

I took my husband’s name when I married. It was nicer than my “maiden” name and besides, it’s my mother’s “maiden” name! I have lots of relations with the same surname!!

I changed my name when I got married, as almost everyone did back then. I wouldn’t change it back even if I was divorced, simply because I prefer my dh’s surname to my maiden name.

My maiden name is pretty meaningless anyway because it isn’t my father’s birth name. He was raised by an aunt after his parents died and it’s her husband’s name, so there’s no family connection to anyone as they had no children of their own.

I’ve been married twice and never changed my name ! One daughter has my surname and her children ( she is married) , eldest son has his dads ( 1st husband) surname, 2nd daughter has her dads surname ( 2nd husband) , youngest son has his wife’s surname ( exotic, non British, complicate inheritance reasons). So all my 4 children have different surnames, only one is the same as mine, but it’s fine - a modern family!

I reverted to my maiden name when I divorced. When I married the second time I changed my name in some things and not others. It did get confusing and I eventually got everything in my second husband's name, even though I was a widow by the time I changed everything. I prefer having his common name than my maiden name which I always have to spell.