Potty training

A lot of pre schools won't accept children that are not at least potty trained - the adult to child ratio is lower for the 3+ age group so they really don't have the staff available either to leave the room to change a child's nappy.
I actually gave my son a deadline when he was being potty trained (actually went straight from nappy to toilet with a smaller seat) by telling him that he couldn't got to playgroup with his friends if he still had to wear a nappy ( before Pull ups!) . It worked!

Elaine I think its a general discussion about how things have changed re potty training.
No one is being 'horrible' about daughter in laws. I dont have a dil though was one, but I have to be very careful suggesting anything to my daughter. Its never received well. So to the OP its a no win situation.

Some of you say such horrible things about your DiLs. It's actually none of your business.

It was certainly the norm in the 70s 80s to potty train from around 18 months, obviously our nappy situation was the smelly bucket in the corner with the milton and wooden spoon fir stirring ...I digress..
I was surprised when my gc were young the nappy sizes went up and up, older and older, which presumably normalised things and certainly recall them for 4 year olds, but apparently thats its how its done these days. What with fhe special night time ones too, oh and the special boys and girls... the nappy manufacturers must be rubbing their hands with glee.

I don’t regret the time I spent potty training mine Greenfinch.

If leaving it till the children are age 4 is a relaxed approach, then I’m glad my approach was the opposite of that.

Perhaps it helped that we had to wash terry nappies.

I hate to think of how many disposables end up in landfill because children are still in them when they are nearly school age.

In that respect, I don’t think today’s mums can teach us anything.

Times really have changed...........when my daughters turned 3 years of age they could go to the nursery which was attached to the primary school that they would attend aged five. One of the stipulations was that ALL 3+ year old HAD to be toilet trained before starting nursery. Admittedly, some had "little accidents" that was to be expected but NO child went in wearing a nappy.

We are big on potty training in our family. My niece has a baby, 6 months old and she ‘sits’ him on a pot now. She says it’s amazing how often he performs.
A lot less hassle than washing nappies. Yes we’re into real nappies too. These days they are shaped and colourful. We all seem to produce babies that respond well to early training. One of mine was clean and dry at 12months, the second was a late developer and took another 3 months!
I suppose it takes a bit of effort and time but I would have thought that a lot of mums would have time over the past 3 months.

Very surprised at health visitor's comment.
How about buying a book on potty training - there's lots of good ones around. She may take more notice of it than your very good advice. Hopefully he won't take too long when the training is started.

I regret all the hours I spent potty training my three. My DiL waited until her eldest two were 4 and then talked to them about it and they were both trained within a day or two. Presumably she will do the same with the younger two. They only attended nursery in the mornings and were not the only ones in nappies.The staff seemed not to mind. It certainly was not laziness. Just a relaxed approach. We have a lot to learn from these young Mums. They seem to have the confidence to do what is right for them.

I had the same with my DIL years ago and I totally agree - just bone idle! The summer was always the time when I got mine out of nappies and potty trained. That was back in the days of terry nappies and I was sick of washing them. My daughter hated being dirty so she was out of nappies before her 2nd birthday. Life is made a bit too easy for them now with the disposable ones. Just sit back and let her get on with it.

All this saying it doesn’t matter is why 4 year olds are still running round in great big nappy pants.

As for the nursery schools not minding, back in the late 70’s and early 80’s when mine were at nursery, they were banned unless they were potty trained. It certainly focused the mind on getting them trained.

You can’t do anything about it though. I know where you’re coming from, but if DIL is not bothered, sadly it’s up to her.

When I was a nursery nurse, I often came across this problem and it wasn't always a 'lazy Mum'.

What I suggested was having a colourful potty in every room - maybe decorated with stickers from a favourite character.

A child should be praised and rewarded for using them by little treats of fruit and plenty to drink.

She tried once when he was coming up to his 3rd birthday & apparently the Health Visitor told her it doesn’t matter if it’s left until he’s 4. Should I say something for my grandson’s sake or not interfere?

You really can't "do" anything. The pre-school will not be particularly impressed, but that is between his mother and them. At 3 and a half he will learn very quickly once he sees all the other children out of nappies.

I totally agree with you Joolz. Why should preschool have to train him when his own mother can't be bothered?