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Holding my granddaughter.....or not!

(22 Posts)
Hils1703 Tue 14-Jul-20 10:19:20

I'm looking for some tips from grandparents in a similar situation.

Our granddaughter is 6 months old and obviously during lockdown we have seen her, but not held her for the past 4 months.

Now we have started to try and hold her but she just screams (tears and everything) and she does not calm down until her mam or dad has hold of her. They are the only ones to have held her during lockdown so she is taking it badly when anybody else tries.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

wildswan16 Tue 14-Jul-20 10:40:50

Just take it slowly. The poor wee thing isn't used to anyone but mum and dad. Don't even attempt to hold her or pick her up. Just play on the floor with her, sing songs to her etc. Start by holding hands to play games, tickling toes. Maybe brush her hair, wipe her hands etc. She will gradually begin to come to you, rather than you go to her.

TwiceAsNice Tue 14-Jul-20 10:42:10

I think this is normal baby behaviour she hasn’t seen you in a while and needs to get to know you again. Try for a few minutes as often as possible with mum there so she is reassured. Once you are familiar it will get better just try and be patient, it’s not personal she’s only a baby

Kryptonite Wed 15-Jul-20 09:37:30

Yes, absolutely let her come to you. She will start to get curious. Maybe some peek-a-boo games or help with spoon feeding.

aggie Wed 15-Jul-20 09:41:45

Actually this happens with a lot of babies about this age , it can take a while for the child to grow through this phase , don’t force it

Starblaze Wed 15-Jul-20 09:46:11

Very normal stage, even my husband couldn't hold one of our children for a while. It will pass

Neilspurgeon0 Wed 15-Jul-20 09:58:09

Try standing and gently singing to her. I held my grandson, born 17th March for the first time in Saturday, and my gentle singing ‘Sailing, by Rod Stewart’ seemed to calm him very nicely

Bull Wed 15-Jul-20 10:30:28

Yes, we had exactly the same situation. Grandson born just after Xmas and were were acceptable stand-ins for the parents. Come the end of lockdown he was a bit strange with us and wanted mum all the time. However, we all went on long rambling walks in the country taking turns pushing, nattered on to him and then daughter came to our house and as he is weaning we fed him which he accepted. Now he is quite happy to come to us. As others have said it's just a matter of patience. Of course the fact that we have a dog and all anumals fascinate him may have had a part to play!

Wildflowers47 Wed 15-Jul-20 11:13:49

Hello, so pleased some of you are getting to hug your grandchildren!
I have a granddaughter who I haven’t hugged for 18 weeks, although I have had lots of zoom contact and visits outside and once in the conservatory last week. I didn’t know we could hug now!!Is it official then?

Annaram1 Wed 15-Jul-20 11:35:24

Neil, What a lovely photo!
As all grans know, 4 months is not a long time to us, but it is a long time to a baby. Others have given such good advice and I have nothing to add. Just take it easy, play little games without holding her, and after a little while she will accept you and come to love you.

marionk Wed 15-Jul-20 11:48:37

Many babies go through this stage anyway even without the lockdown situation, it’s something they grow out of.

Nitpick48 Wed 15-Jul-20 12:44:19

It’s called “stranger fear or stranger anxiety” and is a normal part of baby development. You don’t even have to be a stranger with some babies! They just feel safe with mum, and until the part of their brain develops that lets them see there’s no danger in leaving mum, they will be little Klingons.

rosekearsey Wed 15-Jul-20 12:47:46

Surely only single GPs ( in a bubble) or multi generation households can hug - just because you can go indoors ( and cannot be seen) you still need to stay distanced!!! Have I missed something?

Nannan2 Wed 15-Jul-20 17:58:53

Ive been waiting to go see my new GD, born 6wks early in june- i said id wait till her 'due date' but i don't know whether it would be ok to be hugging her? I only very occasionally go out& then only to pick up something, & straight back, but id hate to put her at risk.theres also her 3 older siblings in her home and same with them, i wouldnt want to put anyone at risk.hmm

Nannan2 Wed 15-Jul-20 18:09:28

rosekearsey, you and i must have both missed it then?hmm

Grandmabatty Wed 15-Jul-20 18:26:50

I hadn't seen my grandson for 14 weeks. He's 17 months. We did video calls and he would toddle about holding the phone and occasionally looking at me. When I did see him, he was a little strange and I didn't rush to hold him but sat and played with him and his toys. Very quickly he came round. It's really hurtful for you, I'm sure but she will come round and won't remember this distancing at all. But I feel for you.

Tedd1 Wed 15-Jul-20 18:31:00

I also have a six month old granddaughter and haven't held her for four months although they live quite near. I thought we weren't allowed to hug unless in a bubble. I must admit I find all this confusing

Greenfinch Wed 15-Jul-20 18:54:16

I think it is only single grandparents who are part of a bubble who can hug their grandchildren. Our granddaughter was born in April and we have not been able to hold her. Our DiL probably would not want us to. The whole family has been in self isolation since before the baby was born and no-one else has yet been inside the house. We have only seen them at a distance in the garden which is lovely.

Hev61 Wed 15-Jul-20 19:28:32

No hugging still unless in a bubble.Either single GP or single parent can mind DGC but social distancing still..Scotland you can hug.

Shizam Wed 15-Jul-20 20:42:51

Had the same problem a long time ago as granny was abroad. When baby kids finally saw her, she swooped. And they panicked! Holidays later, as they got older, they loved her. It will come good, just be patient.

Goldgalaxycat Fri 24-Jul-20 08:02:02

My first grandchild was born on 26 March and I haven’t held him. I long to kiss his cheek and smell that sweet baby smell. I’d been excited for so long and it’s so bittersweet. Anyone else in the same situation and how long do you think they’ll make us wait?

Iam64 Fri 24-Jul-20 08:52:55

Our 18 month old called for a socially distanced visit this week. Since mid March, we have seen him occasionally, over their garden wall. In the early weeks he'd always run to the wall, arms up for a cuddle. Of course we could no longer hug him or pick him up. During his visit this week, he played in the garden, went to his parents but only approached me to take a cup of juice. This too will pass (I tell myself). Tough times for everyone