Lost confidence in driving

I wonder if you need to drive?
Are you living somewhere rural/remote with no transport?

Why do we make ourselves drive if we don't enjoy and we don't really need to?

Calendargirl I think you wrote my post for me, including the age! I also avoid some journeys, and also some times. We live a mile or so away from a large roundabout, and one of the exits is the route to a large industrial estate, so I tend to avoid it when shifts are changing and workers are going home, it’s bad enough at the best of times. I dread the thought of driving a distance to an unfamiliar place, but I am reasonably content driving locally. I think I will review the situation in 3 years when I am 80.

I agree with other comments; it could be due to the house move, different car and unexplored territory ?. When we only drive local to our own area or on regular trips we get used to them, can become a little complacent (not a criticism GNetters so don't call me out) and we feel comfortable and confident.

Give it time Trishaj, make a few short trips close to where you now live, you will regain your confidence!

Good luck in your new home, with the new car and best wishes in regaining your confidence.

I’ve never enjoyed driving and only do so when I have no choice! I put this down to not passing my test until I was 28. My husband always drives when we go out together. I find I don’t even like being driven on motorways lately. I’m very aware of how one knock can have such a catastrophic consequence. If I’m the one that’s left I will not keep a car and use taxis. Probably not that much more expensive. As for satnav, the very best one we’ve found is Wayz, a free app.

Please don't give up or you will become a recluse. What about a refresher course of several lessons? It may boost your confidence. I did mot drive for 7 years after a very bad accident and the short regresher course got me back on the road. Best of luck.

Take each day as it comes as I think you have a combination of things going on here. You have moved to a new area, different car etc. Please do not give up as this is your independence and freedom. Take care.

Calendargirl

I only want to drive local places really. Always let DH drive if we’re going far. That’s bad, I know, because if anything were to happen to him, I would be stuffed.

Passed my test at 17, 60 odd years ago, but driving has always been a necessity, not a pleasure.

Lexisgranny

Sorry, just re-read my post and realised I should have put ‘50’ years ago, not ‘60’.

Makes me look more pathetic really, as I can’t give the excuse of age being the issue!

Does your new car have a sat nav and at least a rear camera in it? That would be useful for reversing along lanes and also help with navigation in your new area. Perhaps consider one if not already installed. You gave had a lot of change recently and most would find it unsettling. A few lessons from a professional would perhaps boost your confidence with the driving. Go enjoy your new life.

Make short journeys going places you know and add in little bits out of your normal routes. Google maps is very helpful and can direct you anywhere you don't know. Take your time and gradually increase the areas you know

I have had the same issue TrishaJ and we havent moved! In particular my brain decided I couldnt merge onto a difficult fast road near to where we live. I would get nervous just thinking about it. During lock-down I was obliged to use the road at least twice a week to access a supermarket (doing shopping for neighbours who were shielding). It was only last week that I realised I was swinging onto the road without a second thought. The more you do these things the less alarming they get, whereas before lock-down I was avoiding the road in question and it was getting more frightening. I reckon if you go out very regularly widening the scope of your driving each time you will find you get used to the routes and more and more confident.

I think as we age and with the state of our roads/more traffic and aggressive drivers no wonder we lose confidence. As others have said I think new areas can easily throw you. I’ve always been confident and am only in my early sixties but am considering a move to a different area. I leave ridiculously early when viewing a property as it makes me feel anxious that I won’t find it! My kids have taught me to use Waze on my phone which is like having someone in the car directing you. I find you just have to make
Yourself do these things otherwise lack of confidence sets in.

I’m the same. I tend to let my partner drive but then I’m an anxious passenger.
I blame it on a couple of incidents last year. Firstly, a huge chunk of metal flew off a scrap lorry coming towards me, it bounced on the road inches from my car and caused quite a lot of damage. I kept thinking of the consequences had it hit the windscreen. The damage was repaired and within a week some stupid woman rear ended us at speed at a junction. I ended up with whiplash and was really shaken. All this within weeks of losing my dear Mum. I’m determined I will regain my confidence, used to drive back and forth to central France a few years ago!

Why don’t you choose a quite time like a Sunday morning and go out for an hour on your own and get used to the new area and driving around it’s roads and the new car. That’s what my instructor told me to do when I passed my test all be it 47 years ago.
I love driving and will drive length and breadth of Briton but understand not everyone does.

I found that early in the lockdown I got nervous of driving simply because I got out of the habit. In addition, with roads being quieter I encountered some really bad driving which made me even more nervous. Now, although I'm not driving every day, I'm going out a few times a week, not just once for essentials, and my nerves are settling. I've been driving daily for over 45 years so it came as a bit of a shock, but it is passing. I think the 'use it or lose it' applies here. Try to do small journeys regularly and offer to drive even if your partner could do it. I think your confidence will return.

When I was married my husband always drove if we went out together. He only let me drive on the way home if he'd had a few drinks or on a long journey if he got tired! When we first split up I found long journeys quite scary although short ones were no problem as I still drove daily in the locality. In the end I just had to make myself do it otherwise I'd have missed out on so much as my children both live hundreds of miles away.

I do use the train to visit my DD as she is over 400 miles away and when I'm there she has a car we can use and public transport there is brilliant, but I always drive to see DS as I would need to use taxis as well as a train and he doesn't drive himself although his wife does.

I was looking forward to getting my bus pass later this year as I thought I could maybe use the car less, but the bus services have been reduced so much I don't think it will be of much benefit, so being able to drive is an absolute necessity for me. I think it is for many people these days unless you live in a city where public transport is reasonable.

I only drive to the shops etc. DH does all the distance driving. What I don’t understand is that I’ll sit next to him watching the road. I know exactly what he’s going to do next: will often point out a driver that is going to do something dangerous etc. I can read the road very well. But I can’t do it when I’m actually behind the wheel myself. Slip roads terrify me more than anything.

I've been giving my car a weeekly local run since lockdown just to keep the battery and brakes in shape. However, I did a bypass and motorway last Sunday and was amazed to feel a degree of nervousness as I approached. Never would have believed it after all these years of driving. So glad of my short weekly jaunts or I may have found the whole experience scary. I'm going to do more regular trips now.

I learned to drive in Devon Trisha and it was a lot nicer driving there than in a large city. IIWY I'd consult a street map first, choose a quiet time and go round the block, then up and down the main streets for a while and then onto somewhere pleasant for a cup of tea so that it could be combined with something pleasant.
May I ask - do you like your car? How do you feel about driving it in a town or city? Perhaps you'd feel more confident with something smaller or an automatic.
I loved driving down to the sea front at Exmouth and miss it. I was never very keen on those high-hedged narrow country lanes though and even my BIL who is very experienced found them a challenge. Use your common sense, gird your loins and I'm sure you can do it. Good luck.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

@BlueSky, no it isn't just you. As a teenager I had no interest in driving and could not afford lessons anyway. In fact it worked out that I could never really afford it until after both of my parents had passed away and I inherited some money from them. I started lessons and hated it from the start, once a lesson had finished I was already dreading the next. I sailed through the theory with no problems. I think it didn't help that this coincided with the start of menopause for me and I would get dizzy spells which made me think that I wasn't safe driving. Eventually I decided to give up although I felt as if I was letting everyone down. I feel that had I done this as a teenager when road's were quieter I would have been okay but these days it is just too stressful.

As others have said do contact a local driving instructor for few confidence boosting 'lessons'. They will be well used to doing this with drivers who are new to the area, and it will really help you to relax behind the wheel and enjoy your driving again. I did that when we moved here. As a Londoner I was quite happy driving all over London and the M25 etc, but the first time I encountered a fully loaded tractor on a narrow country road it fased me a bit! So I booked three lessons. The instructor said he wished more people would do it when they move to the country. It certainly boosted my confidence. Wishing you good luck and safe driving.

Take instructions. I did not learn to drive till I was 45 and i wish I had learned when i was young. It took me 8 attempts to pass and I still daren't do motorways.

No, not just you!
It’s me as well, living life in the bus lane!

I am the same. I started having driving lessons at 17 and gave up when my instructor put a gun in her mouth. I tried again at 19 but had to give up because I couldn't afford the lessons. I tried again at 39 and passed my test third time but kept having mishaps and minor accidents, so decided that I am not supposed to drive! Besides which my husband criticised me all the time and destroyed my confidence. I am more than happy to be a passenger or to use public transport or my legs!

Since going g through the menopause I've lost confidence in my driving. Sadly, most of my relatives live at various points off the M25 so I have little choice. I used to be a keen motorcyclist, riding a 70 mile round trip in to central London. This is the last thing I ever expected...

Agree with nanogran about the reversing. Freaky on a narrow lane to have a tractor bearing down on you. Do look out for gateways and passing spaces and take your time getting in them or stick to main roads. I find the reverse cameras on my car to be very useful and no cranking your head round. The problem comes when you drive a car without reverse cameras and realise you’ve forgotten how to do it!