HMRC

I'd like to go and stop her, the cow!

Yes, she needs re-training
At the very least.
If no-one does anything about her, she will just carry on

Gilly, which is why you were spoken to like you were. If you'd owed thousands they'd probably have been as nice as pie.
How dare they !!

They're not permitted to speak like that now to any customer no matter who the company or organisation is so I'd immediately put pen to cardboardpaper and write them a very stiff letter of complaint.

gillybob the Civil Service has Code of Conduct and the section on Integrity advises them on how to deal with members of the public; one word included in that is 'sensitively'.
She has failed and her line manager should be made aware of that fact.

You know when you think you have really had enough and can’t take much more and then there is that “straw that breaks the camels back” moment . Well that’s how I feel right now .

My heads bursting, my legs are driving me nuts and I can’t be bothered to even have a conversation with DH .

I wish I could muster up the strength to lodge a complaint against her . Maybe tomorrow .

Yes, gilly.
Leave it for now; don't even waste another minute thinking about someone who isn't worth the head space.

Tomorrow is a new day and you may feel up to it then.
If not, it'll keep for a while.

Yes, it'll keep for a while, but make a note somewhere NOW of the date and time of your call and as accurate an account of what was said on both sides as you can. You think it is etched on your brain, but the details might fade before you fell braced to make the complaint. You have a good case for it, Just because her job and her wages are safe, she thinks she can bully those who have lost theirs. She is wrong.

A little power has gone to her head.

I suppose you could count yourself lucky that there was someone to talk to!!!
As Elegran says make a note.As soon as you can. In a place that you can find it!

The trouble is when you are in the conversation you aren’t taking notes are you ?

I have done that Elegran you are right after a while you do forget the details.

I was on hold for almost an hour before I got through PamelaJ1 I think she was working from home as I overheard someone ask her if she wanted tea and her mobile kept ringing and pinging in the background . I could almost swear (but couldn’t prove) that she was texting as we spoke . Listening to me get upset, beg and squirm must all be part of the fun.

Thank you all for your words of support . It feels better just getting it off my chest.

Yes, log everything

Have a or a good scream. Or both.

I’ve already had the scream Calli . I don’t normally drink on a school night but tonight might have to be the exception .

Find out who this person's line manager is, ask to speak to her and don't give up until you do., and demand a recording of the conversation.
Ask for the name and address of the Head of the Department.
Put your concerns in writing immediately, noting as exactly as you can the date, time and name of the person who took your call, and the contents of the conversation, stressing how upsetting it was when it was you who had taken the initiative about repayment.
Send the letter to the HoD by registered delivery.

Keep pestering this department by phone until you get a response, and note every conversation; constant: would 'you repeat that as I am writing this down', works well.

Ask everyone for their surname; they won't give it to you, but make sure they know you are noting every detail.
Keep pestering them until you get a written response, and an apology.
Then you can start again with the issue of repayment and this time they will treat you with more respect.

Ask everyone for their surname; they won't give it to you
As public service employees, they are obliged to provide either their full name and designation within their department or the name of their direct line manager and their contact details.

They do tend to go for the easy target. The big players in tax evasion just carry on getting away with it.

I remember getting a very difficult call from them once after I had done my tax return - I was both working for myself part time and also drawing my state pension and I had put that pension down as 12 times the monthly payment, not realising that it is paid 4 weekly, so 13 payments. She virtually accused me of trying to fiddle my tax!

Reall sorry to hear of your distressing treatment gillybob,I worked for HMRC for 36 years and can honestly say that most of my colleagues and I were there to help taxpayers I got letters of thanks ,I know that the new people that were recruited were not given the same training and indeed were playing a numbers game when they had to answer a certain amount ,those that got through the largest number whether or not they took the time to provide a proper service or not ( random calls were checked) usually as time went on by inexperienced managers who were promoted incorrectly IMO.
All calls should have been recorded so I would advise you to complain and try and give the time of your call and I would advise that you will complain to your MP if this is not dealt with .

I complained to my MP after an HMRC man turned up on my doorstep and I refused to speak to him because I didn’t believe he was who he claimed to be. He got very officious and said if I didn’t pay an outstanding amount, which it subsequently turned out I did not owe, I would be taken to court. He didn’t ask me to give him money but it was very unpleasant and quite scary.
After my MP took it up I received an apology and a bunch of flowers!! Anyone else ever had this? I was astonished. Tempted to throw them in the bin but didn’t.
Go for it Gillybob see if you can get some flowers. If not here’s one from me.

I am not surprised I took a short term position while waiting for my start date with another company. It transpired that the interim company had not deducted any tax. This was many years ago and when I called For clarification as I didn’t realise that this had happened I thought they were operating PAYE well they claimed to I was made to feel like a tax dodger who should have known what was happening and basically they didn’t want to know. I had no idea a company could act in this way. As I say it was a very long time ago and I probably was naive then.

We once had a tax demand for €£254,000. DH had been arguing about something in his accounts and wouldnt let it go and we think it was bully boy tactics. They did withdraw it, saying it was an error.

But, a year later we had a full tax investigation which was horrendous. All they found wrong was that we paid one of our teenage sons to sweep and weed once a month which was, for some reason, outside the rules.

So sorry to hear about your dreadful experience. Whenever l have to ring someone example the benefits agency l pray that l will get a patient understanding person last week I did speak to such a person . I think that the people who are nasty have a problem and they probably hate the job they're probably forced to do. I hope you have a better day today and manage to sort things out.

I found in the past that employees that worked in the tax office had a real "attitude" that I now put down to the fact that the person that they are talking on the phone to are very often rude and abusive.
Unfortunately, even now, some staff have that same attitude - a bit like the banks only seemed to employ people that spoke to you as if they were doing you a favour! (In fact I was actually told by someone that I knew that I was lucky to be able to have a bank account in the first place!)
In no way is being spoken down to by anyone over the phone acceptable - a complaint to their line manager should be made - there may be a training problem, or it may just be a case that you were the Nth person with the same query, and after a long day , they just were unprofessional enough to let you know!

Things were different then .
Now u r dealing with call centre staff. They lack training and human touch.
I too had a bad experience. Firstly after several attempts and waiting time on the phone , eventually spoke to someone. He could not answer my query nor attempt to understand it!
Very unhelpful.

What are SME's?

Things were different when u could go to the local tax office.
Now u r dealing with call centre staff. They lack training and human touch.
I too had a bad experience. Firstly after several attempts and waiting time on the phone , eventually spoke to someone. He could not answer my query nor attempt to understand it!
Very unhelpful.

Definitely complain and I’d go higher than line manager.
I wonder would google provide a way to complain. Try googling HMRC how to complain.

Oh Gillybob, I really do feel for you ?.
I had a very similar experience with the DWP in a face to face interview. I was asked to attend an interview regarding the change over from Disability Living Allowance to ESA. I was treated horribly by an awful woman who told me I didn’t qualify any longer “go and get a job”! I was 64 years old and registered disabled for several years!! Luckily my husband was with me and together we got advise and it turned out she was wrong and hadn’t fully understood the new system. She actually rang me as sweet as pie, apologised and wished me all the best For the future!! That was after a year of appeals and interviews medical examinations, intervention from my MP etc. My mental health was in tatters and the charity MIND used my case as an example of how genuine and deserving people were suffering due to the changes to the system. I no longer need to claim benefits as I qualified for my pension 2 years later but I will never forget the way that woman treated me and the affect she had on my confidence. Sending hugs xx