Always know your own mind ?

shysal

I am often conflicted and can often see both sides of an argument. If I believed in astrology I would say it is because I am a Gemini.
I don't contribute to threads on religion or politics for this reason.

But are you still a Gemini shysal?

Do you think it's to do with being a parent? I have vague sort of views but can often see both sides of an argument.

And, I definitely agree that it's a good thing to be open minded as we get older.

EllanVannin

I've always been " my own person " and would never be swayed by another. My own beliefs, I know, are tinged with controversy in some areas, but isn't it that which makes us all different ?

It's rare for me to be indecisive at any one time when I know in my own mind that what I believe in can't/ won't be changed----my own version of character-building.

Yes we are all different but would you never envisage some circumstance which might make you re-evaluate your stance on something ?

Jane10

I remember being shocked when (a rather wet) acquaintance said to me, ' of course you're lucky Jane, you've got opinions.' That was years ago and I've often thought about her. Are there women like that today? Why didn't she have, or feel entitled to have opinions? I was sad for her. She's a nice, kind person with two children. I wondered how they treated her?

Maybe she was of the “ask your father, dear” generation ?

The only thing that I've found that hasn't changed over time is my gut feeling on a first impression of meeting someone for the first time. I had an employer who once told me not to ignore gut feelings; they're there for a reason and you should trust them. Time and again he's been proven right.

I'm pretty set in my opinions, a bit like EllenVannin.
I'm rarely swayed.

My Dad ,the father of four daughters, always told us our opinions counted..just as much as any mans .Never think that because its a man or even a woman who is older or "better educated" that they have any more right to their opinion than you .The proviso being " be sure of your facts ,no point in arguing the moon is made of blue cheese if you cant prove it ".

I remember being shocked when (a rather wet) acquaintance said to me, ' of course you're lucky Jane, you've got opinions.' That was years ago and I've often thought about her. Are there women like that today? Why didn't she have, or feel entitled to have opinions? I was sad for her. She's a nice, kind person with two children. I wondered how they treated her?

I think Grandmabatty has got it spot on. When you're young you see things in black and white due to the inevitable lack of experience with the world. As you age and have dealt more with all sorts of matters you find that many things aren't as clear cut.
Surely to not change your mind at all about anything shows not just a lack of flexibility but perhaps intelligence too?

I've always been " my own person " and would never be swayed by another. My own beliefs, I know, are tinged with controversy in some areas, but isn't it that which makes us all different ?

It's rare for me to be indecisive at any one time when I know in my own mind that what I believe in can't/ won't be changed----my own version of character-building.

I know I annoy DH in discussions because I like to point out alternative perspectives or as he calls it 'playing devil's advocate.'
Also my involvement with post graduate research has really honed my critical appraisal skills. I really enjoy getting down to the nitty gritty of what's true and what's not, who says what, and why, plus sample composition and selection. Hence on some topics I'm pretty sure of my opinions but on others I'm more open minded.

geekess says "The flip side of this is that people spend a couple of hours on Google, taking what they read at face value, and then assume they are experts on a topic. They then ignore or shout down people who have education, training and years of experience in a particular field."

But they don't HAVE to take what they read at face value. If they have half a brain, they take it as what someone has said on the subject, and value it according to who that someone is, and what their views and record is on similar subjects. If some of the views they read are from "people who have education, training and years of experience in a particular field." who also have a past record of sensible and sensitive comment and/or action, then they value it more than a conflicting argument from a bigotted nitwit.

Google is just a search engine through which anything on the net can be searched for and examined - as a library is a place where printed information and views can be found. A library contains the works of Karl Marx and Adolf Hitler, as well as the Bible, the Koran, and accounts of the beliefs and practices of many other religions, political movements and philosophers, along with shelves of fiction and nonsense. The internet contains the same mixture of material.

Chewbacca

^I am not really interested in the views of someone who has done a few hours of unfiltered^ Internet ‘research

That's not what I meant at all geekesse. Google is simply a search engine; where you go to after that is up to us. How else would I, in my position, be able to read up on first hand interviews with women in Afghanistan or read the daily newspapers from around the world or "visit" art galleries around the world? Don't dismiss the www as a research tool; it's far more than a quick look at Wikipedia and a game of CandyCrush.

Oh, I do agree. The information we have access to through the internet is fabulous, and as someone who spent ten years researching online communities professionally, I’m a huge fan. What bugs me is when people who are trained and experienced experts are ignored, dismissed or put down by those whose own expertise is minimal. It happens quite a bit on Gransnet in discussion around, for example, medical issues.

I feel the development of core beliefs that become somewhat entrenched as one matures can be difficult to step away from. Challenging oneself to be willing to remain open minded and informed is not particularly easy, as one’s beliefs go hand in hand with how one views oneself. In some measure, they identify our place in the world.
With the rise of social media and the cacophony of voices all baying to be heard, there can be a tendency to end up being thoroughly confused!
.

I’ve often thought that the skill of critical thinking should be taught in schools.

On things that are important to e I have have very firm views .Independence,religion , CND and like Annepl the RF .Haven't changed my stance on them since I was very young .I was 13 when I wore my CND badge on one lapel and my SNP badge on the other.Most other things I have an open mind.I'm not judgemental about lifestyles or sexual preferences or the transgender stuff that floods this site now and again.,My OH ad I can sit until 4am sometimes discussing stuff and both come away haveing a different view.HE says he's turning into me ...lol

I am not really interested in the views of someone who has done a few hours of unfiltered Internet ‘research

That's not what I meant at all geekesse. Google is simply a search engine; where you go to after that is up to us. How else would I, in my position, be able to read up on first hand interviews with women in Afghanistan or read the daily newspapers from around the world or "visit" art galleries around the world? Don't dismiss the www as a research tool; it's far more than a quick look at Wikipedia and a game of CandyCrush.

When I was in my 20’s I was very clear (and probably strident) in my views, all of which were shaped around my politics and feminism.

As I have got older, the fundamentals of my opinions and views have stayed largely the same. However life and experience have taught me that things are rarely ‘black or white’.
My working (and family) life has shown me that compromise is often the best solution.
Many of the successful politicians whom I admire, are often masters of compromise.

I think the idealism of youth is ultimately tempered by experience and leads to a certain amount of compromise.

I don't think I'm conflicted. Sometimes I take a while to come to a decision about things. Sometimes I need to find out more about a topic to help me come to an educated conclusion. Sometimes things just ARE multi facted and I need to be able to see more than one perspective.

Politically I tend to be very left leaning (get away) but SOME of my opinions (around education, financial planning, the position of women) can be quite right wing.

I had a friend once who told me he ALWAYS took the position of the Labour party. He didn't examine individual issues, he just followed Labour's position. I was shocked. He was an educated, intelligent man. I like to inform myself and THEN make my own mind up.

Chewbacca

Thinking about it a little more; I think with such easy assess to the www and the vast amount of information that's available to us, it's so much easier now to research and investigate a subject in more depth. Opinions and beliefs that we have perhaps held onto for many years can be overturned or re evaluated when we start to look deeper and find information that challenges what we've always thought or believed in. It's much easier now to be swayed in our beliefs or consider other viewpoints because we can access so many others.

The flip side of this is that people spend a couple of hours on Google, taking what they read at face value, and then assume they are experts on a topic. They then ignore or shout down people who have education, training and years of experience in a particular field.

Personally, I prefer to hold almost all views provisionally, and am grateful to learn from and to take on board the genuine expertise of others. However, in the fields where I have years of hard-won education and life-experience expertise, I am not really interested in the views of someone who has done a few hours of unfiltered Internet ‘research’.

There are things I’m pretty fixed on and things I’m not. I do however love research and my adult children joke about this! It means that I may be certain for years about something and then “update” according to new evidence. This has happened about a few things in my life. It is painful sometimes, but necessary...

I think years of working with and for people in lots of “sharp end” roles means I feel I can see things from other’s points of view but I’m only a shadow of my former campaigning self, sadly. Some days I feel really sad about this. It’s not always changing your mind... sometimes it’s just too exhausting to keep bashing your head on a wall about things, however wrong.

What are they I wonder

As you asked Lucca
I'm afraid there's nothing very interesting or unusual...Capital punishment, distribution of wealth, abortion. It's actually four but dare I say it .. ..the RF.

The perspective changes, depending on where you stand.

I think that as you get older you do see that there are more points of view and multiple repercussions. That is probably why younger people feel more passionate about good causes. They see the world more in terms of right and wrong. I remember asking my Dad why solders didn't just refuse to fight - then there would be no wars. It seems so simple to a child.

I think many of us have lost the knack of critical thinking, we tend to stay in our tribes who tend to agree with us. Changing your mind is a strength not a weakness.

annep1

Yes Lucca. I can have a view on some topic but if presented with more information I sometimes change my mind. And often when debating things with my husband or reading GN posts, I can see things from a different angle. GN has helped me to be more open to other viewpoints. I think we should be open minded and tolerant, generally speaking.
However there are 3 topics on which I am totally inflexible in my views and no one will ever persuade me I am wrong. Its good to be passionate about things too.

Aha.....and what are they I wonder

Yes Lucca. I can have a view on some topic but if presented with more information I sometimes change my mind. And often when debating things with my husband or reading GN posts, I can see things from a different angle. GN has helped me to be more open to other viewpoints. I think we should be open minded and tolerant, generally speaking.
However there are 3 topics on which I am totally inflexible in my views and no one will ever persuade me I am wrong. Its good to be passionate about things too.