Gransnet forums


My husband granddaughter

(15 Posts)
Stewart123 Wed 05-Aug-20 04:37:46

My husband only granddaughter is 13,. We have been married 12 years and his granddaughter has really come in the picture around three years ago.

This is his granddaughter my husband and I don’t have kids together. He chose not to Ian 13 years younger then my husband.

We both make decent money, problem when his granddaughter come he turns into a selfish inconsiderate person. Hi doesn’t income in any thing. My husband goes out and take the kid to dinner sometimes 4 times a week, he doesn’t call to se if I want anything.

So naturally my attitude had changed toward him and his granddaughter,he feels that I don’t treat his granddaughter good but he treats me like crap.

He also changes up on his brother too when this kid shows up.

I’m not liking what’s going on don’t want to give up on my marriage but don’t want to compete with a child for my husband.

Feeling like crap

Oopsadaisy3 Wed 05-Aug-20 06:58:00

Not quite understanding your post, can you clarify?

Although it seems that your husbands GD is very important to him and you might try to get on with GD and not be so jealous.

tanith Wed 05-Aug-20 07:19:26

I agree with oopsadaisy why don’t you join them when they go out to eat? or cook a nice meal for all of you at home, it’s not the childs fault you need to talk to your husband about why this is happening.

Madgran77 Wed 05-Aug-20 07:20:18

Have you developed any relationship with his granddaughter? She is clearly important to him and therefore I would assume you would want to get to know her to support him in that relationship.

monk08 Wed 05-Aug-20 08:07:43

Why has she only come into the picture in the last 3 years?, she was obviously around when you married him. Perhaps he feels he wants to make up for previous years.

lemongrove Wed 05-Aug-20 08:11:27

Another highly strange opening post, seems to be quite a glut of them at the moment.hmm

kittylester Wed 05-Aug-20 08:13:44

What lemon said.

Hetty58 Wed 05-Aug-20 08:20:42


'my attitude had changed toward him and his granddaughter'

Why would you blame a 13 year old for the 'crimes' of her grandfather - it makes no sense?

ninathenana Wed 05-Aug-20 08:23:14

I could be wrong but I get the impression that the OP isn't invited when her husband and his GD go out together

Esspee Wed 05-Aug-20 08:30:00

To paraphrase mumsnet, you don't have a step granddaughter problem, you have a husband problem.

DillytheGardener Wed 05-Aug-20 08:33:12

There has been a glut of poorly written posts lately that don’t make sense, but I’ll give the writer the benefit of the doubt.
Like other readers have said, try not to be jealous of your husbands close relationship with your gd, sounds like what a another poster said and they are making up for lost time.

H1954 Wed 05-Aug-20 08:37:50

Assuming this is a genuine post 💁???? Having personal experience of several thirteen year old girls I found they like nothing more than girly stuff, make up, fashion, music but it's not a competition about spending money, it's about giving time and not ignoring her because OH is manipulating her.

I would advise the OP to up her own game with the child, OH behaviour is not the girls fault but as you have been married for 12 years you have been around for most of her life.

Can you arrange a "girly day" , not necessarily pushing OH out but making more of an effort to be included.

As someone else has suggested, why not cook a special meal at home, get the child involved too and let her see that she is very much part of your life as well as Grandads.

Chewbacca Wed 05-Aug-20 10:17:33

Apart from struggling to decipher the opening post, I'm also struggling to get beyond ^when this kid shows up.^

If Stewart123 is as blatantly rude, resentful and unwelcoming towards the child when she's face to face with her, as she so clearly is here, frankly I'm not surprised that she's not invited to tag along to meals out with them. As for "^So naturally my attitude had changed toward him and^ his granddaughter,he feels that I don’t treat his granddaughter good but he treats me like crap.

Grow up Stewart123 and behave like the adult you claim to be, not the 13 year old child you obviously resent and dislike so much. #Poorgranddaughter

geekesse Wed 05-Aug-20 10:28:28

If there’s any reality in this weird post at all....

An elderly man suddenly has a lot of time and money to spend on a 13 year-old girl, in whom he’s taken no interest at all in the past. Alarm bells! Where does he take her? What is he doing with her? Why doesn’t he want anyone else along?

Chewbacca Wed 05-Aug-20 10:36:57

That's an angle I hadn't considered geekesse. But from all angles, I don't like what I'm reading; none of it "sits right".