Forgot about my tea and took a big gulp. It was cold?. X

MawB

Oops sorry! In this parallel universe it can be unclear who is being (justifiably) ironic and who is taking things literally.
At least it was considerably funnier than the one about the Beckhams killing Harper Seven

MawB, you are very vitriolic towards me. I wasn't joking about them killing her, I was saying that some nutter in the media would probably accuse them of it if they didn't post photos of her. X

No need to keep saying sorry to me.

FlyingHandbag

MawB

Oops sorry! In this parallel universe it can be unclear who is being (justifiably) ironic and who is taking things literally.
At least it was considerably funnier than the one about the Beckhams killing Harper Seven

MawB, you are very vitriolic towards me. I wasn't joking about them killing her, I was saying that some nutter in the media would probably accuse them of it if they didn't post photos of her. X

Add comment | Report | Private message | Quote FlyingHandbag Mon 10-Aug-20 23:04:31
MawB, it was a joke. X

Silly Maw whatever made me think you were joking ?
Perhaps because you said you were?
Not “vitriolic” at all, but like many others, losing patience if not the will to live.

It’s been very very hot today

One of my neighbours who I am convinced has OCD, he actually is a lovely man, has been out today and vacuumed his whole drive with a Henry.
I did stand at my window and watch as I was so fascinated.

That is fascinating annsixty. What colour Henry was it?

X

MawB *MawB
FlyingHandbag

Oops sorry! In this parallel universe it can be unclear who is being (justifiably) ironic and who is taking things literally.
At least it was considerably funnier than the one about the Beckhams killing Harper Seven
MawB, you are very vitriolic towards me. I wasn't joking about them killing her, I was saying that some nutter in the media would probably accuse them of it if they didn't post photos of her. X
Add comment | Report | Private message | Quote FlyingHandbag Mon 10-Aug-20 23:04:31
MawB, it was a joke. X

Silly Maw whatever made me think you were joking ?
Perhaps because you said you were?
Not “vitriolic” at all, but like many others, losing patience if not the will to live.*

I was joking about how ridiculous the media is, not about a child being killed by her parents. X

As an apropos to nothing in particular, my lovely next door neighbours passed their garden hosepipe over the garden fence this evening so that I could water my garden from their water supply. They know I'm on a water metre. Nice, kind neighbours.

Haha, I've only just opened this thread - OMG I cannot believe the petty irritations FH has managed to stir up! I for one think this whole thread is hilarious, so marvellously, ironically mundane.

Right, I'm just off to cut my toenails, hope I don't miss anything riveting in the meantime.

Will you do your left foot first, Bathsheba, or your right?

X

I can't get my right foot up on my left knee any more, so I do my left foot onto my right knee first and then wrestle with my right foot up on a chair. Hth

Oh definitely my left one - I shall shake it all about when I've finished, before I start my right foot.

I hope you go into the bathroom Bathsheba

Forgive the pun......or do you do them in the comfort of your sitting room?

Chewbacca

I can't get my right foot up on my left knee any more, so I do my left foot onto my right knee first and then wrestle with my right foot up on a chair. Hth

I always do them on my bed, so I can stretch out my legs. Have trouble actually reaching my toes sometimes, and end up quite puffed out at times. (Note to self: must lose all this belly fat so I can cut my toenails more easily).

I always carefully collect the clippings, of course, wouldn't want to come across one of them during the night

Gosh, that’s a lot of information, Bathsheba - thank you. That’s quite a plan you have worked out there.

X

Hope it helps Lisagran

You could try sitting on the loo (lid down) and put your foot on a low stool.

X

Yes.
You can often find a stool in the bathroom. X

*MissA *

I have just read about cutting toenails. How lovely to find we are all simpatico!?Gransnet at it's best! ?

Not having read the the thread, I too tried to cut my toenails last night, but failed to overcome the numerous hurdles:
*My nails have been replaced by rhino horn
*My stomach gets in the way
*I need a hip replacement, so can't lift my leg
*My back is sore, so I can't bend
*DH can't be trusted, he cut my actual toe the last time I asked him to help.
*If I do manage some semblance of a pedicure, I'm unable to pick up the clippings.

Thank you, FH for such an enjoyable thread x

annsixty I may have OCD. I vacuum the front doorstep and outside doormat as well as is. I found it has such good suction it’s simplest way to get the dust/sand/ bits out of the grooves of said doormat.
My vacuum is called Jimmy, not Henry (after James Dyson).
Hope I’ve kept your attention for ooooohhh.... 10 secs to read this? ?

FlyingH you’re a legend. Don’t be put off starting threads, you’ve gained so many posts on here, it speaks for itself really.

Puzzler61

FlyingH you’re a legend. Don’t be put off starting threads, you’ve gained so many posts on here, it speaks for itself really.

I agree puzzler. FH threads are funny and light hearted. There’s a pub in Blackpool called Flying Handbag!

FlyingHandbag your posts always make me smile, so much more interesting than for instance, the cauliflower cheese one, I still can’t eat said dish yet, although there are scathing comments from some posters, it looks like you amuse lots of us, keep them coming I say. Aargh the dog has just been sick on my foot.......

Yup, totally agree Puzzler. FH’s posts are so bizarre they appeal to my slightly off the wall sense of humour.