The Old Argy Bargy Bar....a new lease of life!

What! AGA , who are you hiding from me. I demand to see who..........oh .....hello handsome...and what’s your name. Ivan....I see, nothing terrible about you. Why don’t you come over here and we.........what are you doing? Stop scratching. I don’t care if it itches, leave it alone. Oh get down in the cellar and make some vodka.
Laura for goodness sake you’re frozen stiff. Put some clothes on please. Fancy going round like that, it’s dangerous , those pointy things out front could take someone’s eye out. ?
I will being some caviar lemon. Well it’s frog spawn but no one will know the difference ?

Come on lemon you have been comando for years!!! What were you using your bloomers for ??

Shall I send Achilles down there to help you AGA or are you managing? We need gallons of the stuff for Friday....you’re not drinking it yourself I hope?
I got a job lot of last month’s caviare at a silly price you will be thrilled to know, from Dockside Dennis, so we just need about 30 packs of Ritz crackers now.Keep those llamas out of the kitchen though....they eat anything, literally! They ate my apron yesterday and had my bloomers off the washline in the yard today, chomped to bits.?

Lemon Ivan isn't helping with the vodka brewing as he keeps drinking it. I have sent him off to play Russian Roulette with Gloopy. I have given them a water pistol.
Ivan is a bit of a hunk, I will hide him from Doodle or we wont see him all night.
Laura it's a bit chilly to be a nudadrinka. At least wear your thermal vest.

I will be knocking up some batches of cabbage soup tomorrow, will you all bring some goodies on The Nite please?
Achilles and Gloopy have been festooning Russian flag bunting round the bar, and Thor told me earlier that he will come as a bare chested Putin.
I am just off down the docks to tell the Admiral and Captain about it all, and see if I can get some fell off the back of a lorry caviare.?

Oh don’t worry on that score Laura we will keep Chewy under lock and key ( cellar) from tonight and only let her out on Friday.The llamas can stay down there as well, they are a menace! Why didn’t we just stick to keeping ferrets like we did in the good old days?
AGA and Thor are making the vodka with the help of a Russian sailor, Ivan T Nuvverone, he is on shore leave for a week and is kipping in the store room.

I'll come as Ivana Nudadrinka and I'll bring two friends Ivan Itchybum and Eeza Sonofavitch. Don't assassinate them too early AGA, Doodle will want to seduce them first and I believe they are very good at making vodka.
Lemon Are you all sure that Chewy, with Rasputin's mystic powers won't warn all those Russian sailors about what we have in mind for them, don't want them scarpering before we've had a go on their balalaikas.

The sally army were glad to get their couches back but refused to take all the drunks asleep on them.
Lemon and Doodle I did get your fish and chips but the llamas waylaid me and ate the lot.
I will be coming as Xenia Onatopp, a Russian assassin. I will look good in my thigh length boots (if I can squeeze my thighs into them)

oh yes I can certainly see Chewy as Rasputin.
I’ll come as Tatiana the Tantalising Temptress.
I will seduce all the men and have them under my power ?

You promised never to mention my beard again lemon .

I see Chewy as Rasputin as she already has crazy hair and a beard.

The Admiral recovered and staggered off down the docks, am happy to say, one satisfied old seadog.
I want chips too, and a large battered haddock with mushy peas, if anyone is actually going to the chippy?
We have to get all these couches I rented for Roman Nite back to the Sally Army tomorrow, will you drive the lorry
AGA please.
We had some foreign seamen in last night who requested a
Russian Nite for next Friday, I asked if he was Russian but he just said Da! Why would a grown man need his Da?
Anyhoo.....I thought we could have a bit of fun with that, I fancy coming as Olga Klebb or Ivan the Terrible.?

Oh Doodle will eat anything.....a bit like the llamas really.
You keep your sticky fingers away from my bloomers Doodle if I feel any prodding going on ?I shall hit you with my handbag.That cash stays stashed.

Very opportune Doodle, I just happen to have had a baking session with GC today and there are some pies, sausage rolls and cakes left over if you want them? You might find a few foreign objects in them (like snot or the odd bit of plastic off a space rocket) but they're free if you're hungry? hope she doesn't find that bit of tissue that fell out of GS's sleeve and hasn't been
found ???

That’s the first time there’s been anything worth having in your knickers lemon ?
AGA I’m starving.. I can’t go out like this. Please go down to the chippy for me. You can bring back some supplies for the poteen while your there ?

He is just suffering from exhaustion. He was flirting with everyone and hasn't got as much stamina as he thinks. I will give him some poteen and cover him with a toga and leave him to sleep it off.
He shouldn't have been chasing Laura around the tables. She did her best to get caught but he collapsed and ended up under a table.

Have just found the Admiral under a table, not entirely sure if he’s alive!

There will be double duties with the cleaning rota from Monday....the bar is in a terrible state, I have closed it to the public until then?On the upside.....we made a huge bundle of cash which I have stored in my bloomers for safekeeping.

Groan!? I have the hangover from Hell and woke up half smothered by a pile of llamas, true, they are very warm but also very smelly.
Well, how did you all enjoy the orgy?

The llamas have been groaning all night with stomach ache. I found Lemon on the roof fast asleep and covered in frost. I have sent the llamas up there to warm her up. They are a cosy little group.
There are a pile of discarded togas in the corner. The owners are down in the cellar stark naked. What have they been up to?
Doodle and Laura are trying to hastily cover themselves up with old potato sacks. They both look a bit

Oh don’t make a fuss lemon just head down to the fire station and ask the firemen to hose you off.
Great night last night. What’s next?

Aaaarrrrrghhhhh! Take me to the tepidarium I need a wash!
Those blasted llamas?

Oh oh the three llamas are looking a bit peaky. They’re all getting up on the stage with you lemon Watch out I think they’re going to ?......oh they have. Shame about your outfit lemon ?

I’m up for karaoke next, here I go with ‘Just One Cornetto...
Geeve it to meeeee’.......
,

Hope the llamas are alright ( am not giving them the kiss of life btw!) they shouldn’t have eaten that plate of dormice, serve them right really.? Ah, the best laid plans of mice and men oft gang aglay.