The Old Argy Bargy Bar....a new lease of life!

I certainly am, and as Larry’s Llama training camp is in the desert somewhere, with any luck they will run off and join the Foreign Legion.?
Have been pondering on the catering for Roman Nite....I may trap a few dormice in the cellar.I think they were big on salads too ( nice and easy) and roast duck....could somebody pop down to the park?

Doodle I hope those llamas are going to behave. Lemon is threatening to send them to Legit Larry's Llama Training Camp.

The Brazilian Lemon is having is taking a long time. He said his name is Eduardo. Laura is next for the Brazilian. I am feeding him up. He must be exhausted and there is still a queue for his services.
I will be a vestal virgin on Roman Night. (stop laughing!) I have made a dress out of Doodle's cast off bloomers.
I am off to the cellar now to make the poteen and to throw out Lemon and Eduardo. They have been down there long enough.

....or something else plucked??

Oh yes, the same spa, I could hear you howling like a dog somewhere, I did wonder what you were having done.....your bushy eyebrows plucked?

For a bit of what lemon? As if I didn’t know ?
I’m not sure you went to the same spa as us lemon. Sounds as though you went through the car wash by accident ?

I must say Doodle that I draw the line at any more llamas,
Three......but no more, or they get the heave-ho.
Did you all enjoy yourselves? I have brought the Brazilian that AGA had ( in the treatment room) back to the Argy, he’s a hunk alright, so we are retreating to the cellar now for a bit.
We may be gone for some time.?

Phew! Well, that was an exciting day eh girls? I am waxed as smooth as a baby’s bottom? and have been slapped, sauna’d pummelled, cleansed, tinted, and am ready and waiting for Roman Nite on Friday.....I shall look a dream in my purple Roman outfit, with silver sparkly tiara on my dark curls.
Worth every penny that woz.

Laura I think AGA is enjoying herself. Lemon asked for a Brazilian too having seen the chap AGA was with. Judging from the screaming, I think lemon’s just been waxed.
I have had a lovely time in the sauna. Quite cozy in there, me and the three llamas. ?

Hot in this sauna with a mask on and is that you Doodle throwing more water on the coals? Can’t see through the steam. Lemon I know you’re in here, I can smell the immac mixed with poteen and I know AGA is having a Brazilian in the treatment room. At least he said he was Brazilian.

See you all on the mini bus tomorrow. Can’t wait for my spa treatment. I wonder what it will be. ?

Lemon they will have to be big stones or even boulders. Hot boulders - can't wait!

Thank you Laura. I could adapt my nappy with some gold spray. Not sure about the spitting llamas even though they would love it.
Doodle Neon orange bloomers will be very fetching. I may go and find my purple ones and glue smarties on them for a bit of pizzazz.

Laura I am worried about the various uses you are coming up with for the llama food. Did lemon buy a job lot or something ?. I think I’ll just stick to satin bloomers in a lovely neon orange shade. That should pull the punters in. ?

A bit squishy or perhaps a lot squishy.

Doodle we could dip your bloomers in to the llama food, might be a squishy when you sit but the sequins would sparkle.

I have some gold spray you could use AGA to adapt your sumo nappy. We could put some sequins in the llamas food then when they spit at you it will make your nappy all sparkly.

? I wonder if Madam Pom Pom does diamond studded bloomers ?

No pain no gain Laura ?

How little is it Doodle ? You could wear it as a tiara I suppose, but your days of wearing a g string or a tiny thong are well and truly over.Take my advice and stick to your usual
Bloomers.
We are going to the spa on Wednesday girls, I have hired a minibus.I can’t wait to watch AGA have hot stones slapped on her rear quarters.?

Diamond encrusted g string Doodle, I just have one thing to say about that
OUCH

Laura I wouldn’t waste George in the spa if I were you. If he is producing as much gas as you suggest we could use him in the sea for waterskiing ?

Ooh Lemon there’s a little (and I mean little) diamond encrusted g string at Madam Pom Pom’s that I’ve put a deposit on. I can’t wait to get it and show it off, when are we going.

Spa day sounds good as long as George is not supplying the bubbles, quite malodorous, more cabbage and broccoli than beans

Mainly beans on toast (cheap, filling and nutritious) ?
Shall I turn him over on you Laura ? He’s fast asleep and snoring so it seems a shame to.

Nobody came up with ideas for the £1,000 windfall from Tatoo Terence last week, so I have decided we girls need a spa day, and then £100 each to spend down at Madame Pom Pom’s down by the gasworks....a classy boutique, I have my eye on a silver sequinned number.Don’t tell Achilles, Gloopy or Thor though, it’s our secret ( and I have used up all the money now.)

My lilo disguise worked, George came staggering out of the cellar and collapsed on his back unfortunately. I am now pinned down for the duration and having all my illusions shattered by constant popping and vibration from above. Goodness knows what Lemon has been feeding him.