Uncalled for comments

The posts are clearly of little importance then.

merlotgran

There are lots of nasty, bullying posts on here.

Would you care to point them out?

No Merlotgran, I wouldn’t care to; I have far better things to do but feel free to do yourself.

Sarabob,It puts me me off posting sometimes, why do people have to be so judgemental as if they are perfect, it is upsetting. I think it better every time that I would rather be kind than right. I think if you were a bit down and were judged harshly it could make you quite depressed.

Oh dear, it seems like I can’t do right for doing wrong - ??‍♀️

I just wonder what the difference is between posters who "stand up" for each other, on the post and by pm and those who are accused of "ganging together" to disagree with a poster.

I guess if you're in the group that agrees and you are nice and if you're in the group that disagrees youre nasty ?

Oh dear - another thread exhorting us to be nice to each other which has had exactly the opposite effect.
Twas ever thus.

Sarahmob

Lucca can I reassure you that I haven’t taken umbrage and left the thread. I’m still following and reading the comments ?

Of course you are. Otherwise it would be a waste of a can of worms.

Lucca can I reassure you that I haven’t taken umbrage and left the thread. I’m still following and reading the comments ?

Lucca I’ve never seen anybody told to “clear off”.

Just because you personally haven't seen things, doesn't mean that they didn't happen.

Yes there is varian as pollyperkins has pointed out.

Why should somebody be 'having a bad day' just because they disagree with another opinion or the tone of a thread and even if they are, why should they feel they have to explain themselves?

I seriously have never seen anyone “called names” unless you mean on political threads for example where sometimes those not pro government are called loony lefties ? Is that what you mean ? I’ve never seen anybody told to “clear off”.

What I do find a but annoying is when a few people disagree with the OP and then OP takes umbrage and leaves the thread. A bit pointless surely?

Not on the thread but I had several lovely supportive PMs. I was under a lot of stress at the time and it really upset me. I gave GN a break for a while.

Sparklefizz

On a thread last year or the year before, when I disagreed with someone's post, I was told to "clear off and don't come back. You won't be missed."

Was that necessary?

No! I wasn't around then - did anyone step in and support you?

On a thread last year or the year before, when I disagreed with someone's post, I was told to "clear off and don't come back. You won't be missed."

Was that necessary?

pollyperkins

Yes. Just say I disagree. I think you are wrong. My view is ...
Not a problem.

But (as far as I can see) this is what people do.

I haven't seen anyone being 'called names', as was suggested upthread. A few people have said very tame things on this thread in support of the OP, and followed with 'now I will be savaged' or similar. They haven't been, and I genuinely have no idea what they thought would happen.

Having said that, I have been on other forums where I have seen this happen and others insist that they don't see it, and that can be very frustrating, so I do accept that just because I haven't seen it doesn't mean that it's not happening.

I see far more by way of passive aggressive posts on here than anything I would remotely describe as bullying, though.

Yes. Just say I disagree. I think you are wrong. My view is ...
Not a problem.

Is there a kind way of saying "you are wrong"?

Surely there is a way to express your view without being unkind. You don't have to agree with people, you just don't have to call people preachy or refer to them as virtue signalling. If you are having a bad day, surely you can say so so at least we know why you are being more forceful with your views or at least acknowledge that you might being a little more bullish than normal. You don't have to be kind, just don't be unkind. There's blunt and there's bullying. There's a world of a difference. And yes, it is normally the same few people who usually seem to gang up together.

I do feel that if people cannot say anything nice they should not say anything?

[groan]

Chewbacca wrote:

"I suppose it all depends upon what a poster is looking for when they start a thread, whether it's a debate, a chat, advice or support and a friendly ear. Those who respond may not always appreciate what it is that the OP is looking for and that can lead to a mismatch of expectations."

I agree, I wonder if the website controller is aware of this problem.

There are lots of nasty, bullying posts on here.

Would you care to point them out?

Well I agree about the sentimental fridge magnets etc but the point is you can disagree with another persons opinion without attacking them personally. None of us likes to be called names.

I’m not sure about catty (which seems to me to be a slightly outdated term used against women), but certainly I have come across some unkind comments.

This should be a supportive forum and although strong debate is good, I do feel that if people cannot say anything nice they should not say anything?

These fluffy ‘be kind, be nice to each other’ comments I think irritate a lot of people as they sound too much like the utterings of a certain absent Duchess!

All spoken of course with the hands clasped over the heart and eyes skyward!