Move to be near daughter and family?

It must be tempting to live nearer to your little family.
BUT be very wary.
My DM moved 400 miles to live in a granny flat next to us when she retired. She helped us to buy a large house to share. She had been a widow for 25years. She was lonely and was young enough to start a new life.
She helped when she could with babysitting and collecting the DC from school but it didn't cure her loneliness.
She tried to settle but missed her previous life and became depressed.
We all found it a stressful time for about 3 years.
She decided to let her flat here and went back South where she rented a flat near to my sister . Being near but not dependent on that family was a better solution and she lived fairly happily there for another 25 years. She still came to stay in "her flat," twice a year.
Our DC are so scattered and none would relish having us to worry about. My inlaws bought a house 5 miles from us so we keep an eye on them.

I’d also say for me there was a huge difference in standard of living. Surrey is so much more expensive and my money doesn’t go as far. For what I paid for a 1 bedroom flat I could have bought a 4 bedroom house in Wales

I moved 4 years ago from Wales where Id lived my whole life to Surrey 150 miles away . I was 63 and had retired from full time work just before moving. I am now living in the next street from both daughters and grandchildren ( they live next door to each other)

I now work 2 days a week and before Covid did some volunteering as well. I don’t regret it but do miss my Welsh friends a lot, I have not made close friends here, more pleasant aquaintances .

It did take some adjusting especially driving and finding my way around after always knowing where I was going before. I’d say still go for it if you are a close family like us but be prepared that it will take a while to settle and despite your family you will be homesick.

I downsized and moved area to be nearer to my dd. I also knew she was pregnant and her and sil asked if I would help with childcare. I have rarely regretted moving area and never regretted moving house or helping out with dgs. It made me be less insular actually and make an effort to take up new hobbies. I also have lovely neighbours. However, I was ready to move and had just retired. You don't seem to be at that stage so think very carefully about making such a definitive step

I moved to be closer to my only daughter and my grandchildren. I have now lived in New Zealand for over seven years and have no regrets about leaving the UK, although I do sometimes miss friends and family.

We were looking to relocate when we retired and mentioned a place we were thinking of when visiting DD and SIL before baby no 1 was born. They almost immediately found a rental house in that same area, promptly followed by the premature arrival of DGD.

We actually decided to move there too in case of problems and help being needed with baby. Thankfully no major problems arose, so we are all blessed.

It's been brilliant being so close and having constant contact with our now two DGC.

In saying this, none of us moved huge distances.

I moved house last year for a number of reasons, one of them was to be closer to my DS and his family. I didn't move very far but, as I was doing 8 school runs a week whilst working full time, the sheer amount of travelling in rush hour traffic was a pain. I already kbew the area i was moving to, which made it easier. I've been able to keep my job, friends and social life just as it was at my old home; but I'm much closer for the GC to visit on their own now and I've inherited a garden too, which is a plus! I'm not sure that I could have given up friends and social activities though so I'd think about it very carefully. It's an expensive mistake if it all goes wrong.

I think that if the only reason you are thinking about this is to be close to your daughter then I would say don't do it Comeongran. Things are likely to be uncertain for some considerable time so I would stay put.

Spot on Charliegirl5.
My X mil moved from the midlands to Cumbria in her 70`s only to find 4 years later her daughter moved to London.
She was gutted beyond belief.

I'm in the North West and I'd love to live near my daughter-----in Australia

I think if you don't want to really move then you shoul stay put. It's a difficult one and something you will have to really think through. If you like to make new friends and are willing to maybe take on more responsibilities with GC then this could be a fab move. Only you will know the answer. I think you will find the North West a great place to live should you finally choose to move, but then i'm biased! xx

You enjoy living where you live

You enjoy your job

You don’t want to move

I don’t really see why you are asking the question.
Is your daughter pressing you to move near them?
Do you want to become more involved with Day care and baby sitting?
What happens if in 2 years time the SIL is offered a new job elsewhere?

I've moved lots of times for different reasons so it wouldn't faze me to move and then move again maybe. I tend to live life on what suits at the moment. And I enjoy finding out about a new place and meet g new people.

But I can see you've been in your place for a long time and are very settled.

If you do go can I suggest you protect your capital investment, if house prices are very different, so that you can move back if you want to. Will there be a big difference?

I’m as sure as I can be that they won’t move - they’ve actually just moved with son-in-law’s job. But I do know you can never say never. I’m nearly 63, came to this area when I was 18 for Uni and have never left. I do have friends here but no family. I enjoy working still, and the income that comes with it. Truth is, I don’t really want to move! At the moment there is only one DGC who is three, but I’m expecting to be told to expect a second one imminently. I do feel torn!

How old are you, if you don't mind my asking (I note you are still working) and how old are the DGCs? My first reaction is that it could be a mistake for you to become too dependent on your DD, as her plans may change and the DGC will grow up all too quickly. What is your life like where you are? Do you have friends, other family etc?

Snap Charleygirl5 just what I was going to say and are you happy to give up your friends to move?

Yes, I agree with Charleygirl. Do be prepared for your daughter to move elsewhere in the future. A change of her (or her partner's) job in the future, for example, could mean they had no option but to move. Of course, you could move to their new area if that did happen. Just something to think about.

Are you 100% certain your family is not likely to move in a few years time?