Grandchildren's obsession with 'electronics'

They're addictive. Expecting children or teens to independently handle an addiction, any addiction, when adults struggle, is unrealistic.

It's up to the responsible adults to set limits. And to set examples. I'm as guilty as the next person so do my best to leave my phone in my desk. But my workplace even requires I use it as part of my day now. Not helpful to the students in front of me, in my opinion. I see work. They think I'm playing on my phone.

Thank you so much for all your posts, they are really, really helpful and appreciated.

Enjoy your day everyone ...

I think you had it there Hetty58 when you said "any spare moment" you were doing other activities as well, like everything screens are good and useful but in moderation. Some children are allowed to use their devices all the time even in bed, there needs to be parental control over this.

We lived far out in the coutryside due to dad's work on farms. There were no other kids to play with. We helped mum with housework and gardening, forced some of the time i must admit. We did go on long walks with our dogs and my siblings and i played games but we fought and argued.....a lot. We got bored with the limited company we had and use to look forward to going to school very much. My passion was books and i can still hear my mum saying 'everytime i look at you you have your head stuck in a book'!!!!

I don't think 'parents' in general do this and those of us of the older generation I feel need to be quite cautious in this one.

I think there is a lot of parent bashing out there which doesn't help.

When our grandchildren are at our house we just limit TV time and computers are, except very occasionally, out of bounds.

I'm OK with them watching films that are not specifically meant for children - provided they are reasonably suitable - films like Castaway, Life of Pi, Lion, Mary Poppins, etc. They often watch cartoons at home but they are quite capable of watching and enjoying films with more adult themes.

I give them stuff to do - drawing, painting, jigsaws, clay modelling, etc, etc - and play games with them like Trivial Pursuit, Connect 4, etc. We sometimes do jigsaws together.
They enjoy it as it makes a change from their usual routine.

Computers can be useful but they can also be too readily turned to for entertainment and make it less likely that children can make their own entertainment and be creative. Computer games in particular can be addictive and there are more and more cases of this type of addiction. I think they can cause high levels of stress and make children aggressive.

I know some people will say this is an old fashioned view but it's my opinion based on what I have seen.

I have house rules, including no tech at the table, in the bath, at family film-time, after bedtime or when out walking.

Apart from that, though, they're free to use their phones and ipads pretty much as they like. Any misbehaviour can be punished with the confiscation of them too!

As a child, I was usually to be found (at any spare moment) with my head stuck in a book - so I can't really see much difference.

I suggest you read "The Teenage Brain" for a insight into the effect all this tech stuff can have. Take away a phone and see the often violent reaction and if not cause for concern - what is.

That’s a shame, Gagajo, but are you suggesting that one child’s problems should result in a generalised ban or restrictions for all? Presumably the boy has other issues that have fed into the addiction?

Isaking? It's making

I'm currently back at work, having to deal with a teenager with a severe technology addiction. Tantrums daily from a 14 year old who can't cope without extended screen time. Itsaking anyone that comes into contact with him and him, himself, miserable.

Yes. PaperMonster. I am not a psychologist but I can see how restrictions would increase the likelihood of a dopamine hit from ‘likes’ or wins on games.

When my own children were young, people used to obsess about PlayStation-type games, and ration the time their children could play them. After a while (and whilst making sure that they only had age-appropriate games) I let them get on with it, and found that they naturally fell into a rhythm of playing the games, going out to kick a ball around and other activities.

I also found that many games do stimulate the imagination, and can be socially interactive, albeit in a socially distanced manner, which is appropriate to the times we live in.

I have a nine year old daughter and, other than having to come off any screens at a set time of an evening, I don’t restrict her time on them. She didn’t have any screens until she was three though, including TV. Unlike her cousins who have very strict restrictions, she isn’t obsessed with technology - although she is very good at teaching herself how to use various pieces of software and coding. She is ridiculously creative with what she does. She has used technology to have company during lockdown when she has been playing with her toys. I have absolutely no problem with her using technology. She still loves small play, board games, writing stories, playing out and reading. A couple of years ago I came across a psychological study into the ill effects on teenagers of having technology restrictions, which made me realise I was doing ok going against the grain of restrictions.

Gkammanan I totally agree that these things have their place! I’ve owned an ‘electronic book reader’ as I think they were called since well before Kindle came along. The likes of Kindle & its apps have also opened up the world of books to people who might otherwise not have access. I used to live in W Africa where there were no libraries and few bookshops but now via e-books they can access them.

My point is that it is doesn’t have to be either/or - we can have both!

Suedonim whilst I agree that nothing beats holding a book, my eyes are so bad I can’t read print in a book anymore. I read books on a kindle now but can choose the font and text size. The light on it is not the type of “blue” light found on other electronic devices which are supposed to prevent sleep. I found it hard to make the transition but I am so glad I did.

Blubelle I always had Radio Lux on as a teenager but I also remember and can still “hear” the musical interference that it used to pick up.

Do people use textspeak now? I thought that went out when texts stopped being limited to a certain number of characters. I’m very surprised to hear that children still use it.

Gadgets aren’t evil and I don’t think they are the problem. It’s the modern equivalent of our parents telling us to “stop reading that ....put it down and do something else”. The issue is children who won’t readily stop when asked.

Snap BlueBell, but not at the dinner table and we also had to go outside and play in the garden a lot. My brother and I would sneak back in to watch the television but we're sent outside again as soon as we were discovered to 'enjoy the sunshine'. I loved rainy days when it was Children's TV time ha!

Helenlouise3

That is my worry, lack of interaction etc etc...

I'm glad you posted 1st hand concerns, being a teacher you are far, far more in the know than someone such as myself who only has her GC to be aware of ..

Thank you for your post .

Sorry, but working in a school I see the effects that hours upon hours on these tablets have on children. Social interaction is poor, spelling is atrocious as it's all text speak and imagination is non existant. Yes they can be helpful educational wise but unfortunately most children are glued to inappropriate games. Shoot me down in flames if you want, but you'd only have to ask a child psychologist to see the harm they're doing.

Very valid point Doodledog

We helped with home schooling with our 3 gcs. They love their i phones and i pads ! Although as soon as we mentioned a game of Monopoly, card games or dominoes they were there like a shot!

Everyone who has commented on this thread has done so on a screen of some sort, and presumably gets something out of belonging to a community such as Gransnet.

Children are just the same - they like to be part of something, and when they aren't able to play with friends at least they can stay in touch online. Do people discourage them from using Skype, Zoom, FaceTime whatever to stay in touch with grandparents? Why is that different?

I agree with the point about having to google everything, but in my experience adults are far worse offenders where this is concerned. I commented on the nosy neighbour thread about people I know who google everything, even during a (telephone) conversation they are checking on what is being said and getting a 'step ahead', rather than listening. They are over 60s, not children.

I think that screens are now a fact of life, and expecting to change that is a bit pointless, really.

Personally, I draw the line (with children and adults) when people are in the room/restaurant talking to others but still on their phones. I just stop talking and wait for them to stop texting or whatever they are doing, then start again.

Otherwise, if a child picks up a gadget to play with, I just see it as I would any other toy.

We don't have a t.v. Never have.

I do radio instead.

So at least that cuts down potential screen time...

My gd, age 24 has just asked if she can come away with us in October for a week in North Devon, wants to bring her bike and cycle with us and will properly go for a run with MrB as she has taken up running. I am going to take some knitting, she want to learn and a board game or two. She will also spend time looking at her phone, but then I will bellowing at gn on my iPad. The rest of the gc are pretty much the same, its all about learning to spread your time over a number of things.